v 2.0 西行の短歌の英訳 試し1 「そむくならひのなき世」 saigyo's tanka translation I "if the world were without monastic habits"

身のうさを思ひしらでややみなまし

　　　　　　そむくならひのなき世なりせば

attempt to render it into English tanka ver.
verse:
身のうさを
思ひしらでや
やみなまし
そむくならひの
なき世なりせば
5-7-5-7-7
for I might've not known 5
for oneself Man's Woes toward 7
and ended the Chord 5
if ne Wool nor Ink, nor in 7
nones' altar, Incense to wear 7

prose translation:

for I might not yet never know men's wanton grief and misery for themselves,
 if i have never smellt frankenincense.

(i might not even know each and every the human's all too pathetic)
(nature. if i were to have ne touched the cotton habit, ne dusted off the crusted ink from the well…)

music that inspired me:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbhAVGgsEgw

原曲
幽雅に咲かせ、墨染の桜 ～ Border of life