再悲詩：悲しい泉への賛歌 Dolorum: Ode to the Sad Fountains (和訳済み)

再悲詩：悲しい泉への賛歌 Dolorum: Ode to the Sad Fountains (和訳済み)

Declaration that this is a work ex rebus Dolorum
この作品は再悲詩(Ex Rebus Dolorum)であることを宣言する
all sorrow is triumph and all triumph is sorrow
すべての悲しみは勝利であり、すべての勝利は悲しみである
omnis dolor est triumphus et omnis triumphus est dolor.
I of the sorrows
哀しみの我から
Ego Dolorum

「再悲詩」のマニフェストーーー新しい詩の試み Manifesto of Dolorum---a new experiment of poetry ｜JTR777 (note.com)

ジョン・ダウランドの音楽とパーシー・ビッシュ・シェリーの詩はマジでヤバいだから、試しに聞いて読んでしなさいよ！マジ万時万字饅頭ですよ！
Dowland’s music and Shelley’s poems are really really cool.

You should really really listen to and read them!

It is something really really “in”. Tell your friends about them!
………………………………..

Cry! Cry ye out, sad fountains of mine,
泣けや、私の悲しみの泉よ
Cry out in Pain!
痛みで絶叫せよ。
The world---cool and unkind forests and streams,
この世ーー涼しく無情な森と川
the empty land and seas, the blue heavens---they tried
空っぽの大地と海、青い蒼天が
to stop, muffle and 'nim*1, tried to steal my crystal fountains--
止めようと、黙らせようと、奪う*1ようと
ーー私の水晶の泉を盗みようとしていったーー
they tried---let them try! they should have tried in vain. I am,
彼らは努力した---努力させてやれ！ それは無駄な努力のはずだ。私は
Crying loud so to drown out the far and despondent oceans,
遠く哀れな海を負かすほど大声で泣く
Let my tears aflow---! Submerging all green and giant mountains.
我が涙は流れよ――! 全ての緑靑の、巨人の山を沈めよ！
Let afloat all the lonesome boats folded with leaves---carrying lonesome souls.
一人ぼっちの・葉折り（はおり）の小舟を・漂わせよーー――孤独な魂を乗せて。
And let they live and swim----paler fishes more worthy of their salt!
そして生き延び、泳いで行け――自分の塩分に相応しいほど淡い魚よ!
All my bluer tears shall hence gag or strangle all the more flippant sounds,
我が青い涙はこの上なく軽はずみな音を詰まらせ、絞り殺す。
All beings earthly and celestial; from the lighter caerulean or grave, grave emerald.
天地のすべての存在――より薄い紺（こん）または深々碧（へき）との*2――

Do now hold their breath--serene--with grief*3--though the Sun would rise…
彼ら自身の息を呑み――静かな――嘆きに*3――陽が昇ってはいても...。


Announcing yet another morn-----the rosy breezes of strength;
また一日が始まろうと――バラ匂いの風が力を吹き込む――
Could but churn up more sad-coloured foams.
だが、もっと哀しみの色の泡を巻き上げるだけだ。
Thus rested weary Moses and his walking-cane;
疲れ切ったモーゼとその歩き杖は――
Upon the quiet undulating waves; 
静かにうねる波の上で休んだ；
The blue, blue ocean, would split no more.
青々との海はもう割れなくなった。
All things remembrance-worthy….rising to grasp the effervescent cream;
――記憶に値するすべての―― 沸騰する春虹繭 （クリーム）*4を取りに上がる。
All things worth remembering…falling to dream the dark slumberous*5 dream.
――想い出に値するすべての―― 暗い眠りの夢を見に沈む。
*1 =benim; take, bereave, benumb
maybe hide(v.) also works, not sure.
隠す（動詞）も通じるかもしれないな。
*2 又は：(地壌天壌の全ての物――より軽快なる紺碧と・もっと厳存たる翡翠は)――
*3
又は：
---tightening--with grief---
ーー悲嘆に暮れながら、息をひそめている。ーー
*4 泡が攪拌されて虹色の光を反射する事です。英語のクリーム "cream"から。
*5 
notes on this word: 
maybe "somnolent" would be better, but slumber feels like a deeper dream.
etymologically, somnolent comes from (from wiktionary)
First attested in 1615. Borrowed from French somnolent, from Old French sompnolent, from Latin somnolentus, from somnus (“sleep”), from Proto-Indo-European *swépnos, *supnós (“dream”), which both are derived from *swep-.
definition:
a.Drowsy or sleepy. quotations ▼

b.(dated) Causing literal or figurative sleepiness. quotations ▼synonyms ▲Synonyms: soporific; see also Thesaurus:soporific

The focus is going into sleep, it seems.

for slumber;

From Middle English slombren, slomren, frequentative of Middle English slummen, slumen (“to doze”), probably from Middle English slume (“slumber”), from Old English slūma, from Proto-Germanic *slūm- (“slack, loose, limp, flabby”), from Proto-Indo-European *(s)lew- (“loose, limp, flabby”), equivalent to sloom +‎ -er. Cognate with West Frisian slommerje, slûmerje (“to slumber”), Dutch sluimeren (“to slumber”), German schlummern (“to slumber, doze”).
definition:

Noun

slumber (plural slumbers)

a.A very light state of sleep, almost awake. quotations ▼

b.(figuratively) A state of ignorance or inaction. quotations ▼

c.(rare, as used by Magnavox clock radios) The snooze button on an alarm clock.

seems to imply inaction and deprivation of senses and mobility.

adding -ous just sounds better than -some or -ful or -ing here, which is curious as I typically prefer use Saxon suffixes for Saxon words. Another shade of meanings is at play here to make me prefer slumberous over slumbersome etc.. It seems -ous in English denote "presence of a quality in any degree (typically abundance of)"(wiktionary -ous). this is suggested by the etymology included in "-ous" entry to be related or analogous to -wis or -wise which is not so productive suffixes in English anymore. mixing Saxon words with latin or greek prefixes or suffixes seem also common during Poe's era, which I read much so it would make sense I use this word in imitation.
"slumberwise" seems to have another shade of meaning from what I read it. "in ways of slumber". which is not like "slumberous". maybe it is closer to "slumber's dream" and functions as something close to a genitive for latin or greek based words in place of " 's " or "a of b" which have different nuances or are used according to the rules of prosody. not sure exactly how though.

 
……………….
和訳について
自分なりも和訳を試していたが、日本詩歌のリズム、語彙、文法的構成に慣れていないのため、如何にも下手な「アメリカ大学日本語科一年生」っぽいな文しか出せない。意外にもPoe.comのAI Claudeの通訳は結構的確なので、それを元に修正を施しました。恥ずかしい事に。。。
以下は使っていたコマンドとAIが和訳された原文です：

自分：translate this poem to japanese, do not add flourishes, reinterpret or change the wording too much: "Cry! Cry ye out, sad fountains of mine,
Cry out in Pain!
The world — -cool and unkind forests and streams,
the empty land and seas, the blue heavens — -they tried
to stop, muffle and ’nim*1, tried to steal my crystal fountains —
they tried — -let them try! they should have tried in vain. I am,
Crying loud so to drown out the far and despondent oceans,
Let my tears aflow — -! Submerging all green and giant mountains.
Let afloat all the lonesome boats folded with leaves — -carrying lonesome souls.
And let they live and swim — — paler fishes more worthy of their salt!
All my bluer tears shall hence gag or strangle all the more flippant sounds,
All beings earthly and celestial; from the lighter caerulean or grave, grave emerald.
All beings earthly and celestial; from the lighter caerulean or grave, grave emerald.
Do now hold their breath — serene — with grief — though the Sun would rise…
Announcing yet another morn — — -the rosy breezes of strength;
Could but churn up more sad-coloured foams.
Thus rested weary Moses and his walking-cane;
Upon the quiet undulating waves;
The blue, blue ocean, would split no more.
All things remembrance-worthy….rising to grasp the effervescent cream;
All things worth remembering…falling to dream the dark slumberous dream."

AI Claude: Here is my translation of the poem to Japanese while trying to preserve the original wording and structure as much as possible:

泣けや、私の悲しみの泉よ、
痛みで絶叫せよ。

• 涼しく無情な森と川、
  空っぽの土地と海、青い空は――
  止めようとし、抑えようとし、'*1隠そうとした、
  私の水晶の泉を奪おうとした――
  試みようとした――試みようとしても、無からく試みしだめだ。
  私は――
  遠く哀れな海を負かすほど大声で泣く、
  我が涙は流れよ――!すべての緑と巨大な山を水没せよ。
  一人ぼっちの舟を葉張ったまま漂わせよ――孤独な魂を乗せている。
  そして生き延び、泳いで行け――自分の塩分に相応しいほど淡い魚よ!
  我が青い涙はこの上なく軽はずみな音を詰まらせ、絞り殺す。
  天地のすべての存在――薄い青または深々と緑の――
  息を呑み――嘆きを引き締める――陽が昇ってはいても...
  また一日が始まろうと――ピンクの風が力を吹き込む――
  だが、もっと哀しみの色の泡を巻き上げるだけだ。
  疲れ切ったモーゼとその護刀は――
  静かにうねる波光の上で休んだ。
  青々との海はもう割れなくなった。
  ――記憶に値するすべての―― 沸騰するクリームを取りに上がる。
  ――想い出に値するすべての―― 暗い眠りの夢を見に沈む。

#「薄い青または深々と緑の」確かに日本語詩に相応しい、然しこれは自分のスタイル("caerulean" "emerald"はそれぞれに「天国の永遠」と「地上の永遠」を象徴する色なので、直訳するとちょっとバッター臭いかもしれないな？)に違うなので。保留。
＃「隠そうとした、」は"'nim(奪う）"の誤訳だが、面白いなので検討している。
＃「その護刀は」は「walking-cane」、賢者や魔法使いの杖と、流浪の杖の駄洒落です。だらか「歩き杖」です。

自分：polish up the poem: to japanese

Claude: Here is my attempt at polishing up the translation of the poem into more literary Japanese while still preserving the overall content:

哀れな我が泉よ、哀嘆の声あげてくれ
痛みのうめき声に答えよ

• 涼しく冷淡な森川、
  空虚な大地と海、蒼空――
  止めようと抑えようと、'*1秘密の泉を隠そうとした
  水晶の湧きを奪おうとしたが――
  試みたが無益だったろうに

• 遠い哀れな海を優にくびきおさめ、
  涙を流しまくれ――あらゆる緑の山を没しむ
  葉張りの舟に乗る孤独なる魂よ、浮かばせよ
  生き残れ、泳げ――淡い色さえ我が塩分を重んじむ

• 青い涙は軽はずみなる声を堵い、絞りつぶす
  天地の生きとし生けるもの――蒼や深緑の―‐
  呼吸を潰しつつ、嘆きを締めるが、陽は昇り続く...

• また朝暁来たり――ピンクの風力を充てん――
  悲しみの色味に染めるのみならん...

• 疲労深きモーゼと護りの杖――
  静かなる波面に安らぐ

• 青海はあらゆるものを包み込みつく、再び裂けぬうち

• 記憶に値するあらゆるもの――泡立つ夢を掴みかけん
  暗黒の夢に沈めんがため――

自分：
"rising to grasp the effervescent cream" try to translate this with alternative wordings.
Claude：
Here are some alternative translations for "rising to grasp the effervescent cream":

• 沸騰するクリームに手を伸ばして上昇する

• 発泡するクリームを掴もうとして上る

• 好奇心に燃えながら泡立つクリームを取ろうと上昇する

• 泡立つクリームの香りに誘われながら上手を伸ばす

• クリームの泡を取ろうと興奮して舞い上がる

• クリームのうpう砕ける泡模様に引かれながら上昇する

• 泡立つクリームの表面を掴もうと飛び立つ

Let me know if any of these alternative wordings help capture the image and intention better. Translating poetic passages requires exploring different possibilities to best convey the original meaning and imagery.
自分：
good alternatives for "cream" in this context?
Claude：
Here are some potential alternatives for "cream" in this poetic context:

• 泡 (awa) - Foam/bubbles

• 白 (shiro) - White/whiteness

• 光 (hikari) - Light

• 美しさ (utsukushisa) - Beauty

• 精 (seimi) - Essence

• 輝き (kagayaki) - Radiance

• 幻影 (gen'ei) - Illusion/vision

• 浮遊 (fuyou) - Floating

• 夢 (yume) - Dream

• 幕 (maka) - Veil

• 霧 (kiri) - Mist

• 薄氷 (usukori) - Thin ice

• 半透明 (hantoumei) - Translucent

• 霧水 (kirijyou) - Misty water

The original English word "cream" in this symbolic context could be representing something ephemeral, luminous or vaguely perceivable. These suggestions aim to capture similar atmospherics while fitting with Japanese poetic sentiments. Let me know if any resonate more than others.
自分：
can you come up with a more literary word of japanese origin instead of western loanwords that can be used in the place of クリーム in the context?
Claude：
You're right, using a Japanese word instead of a Western loanword would fit the poem's style better. Here are some more literary, Japanese-origin words that could work in place of "cream" in this context:

• 泡影 (ahikage) - Foam/bubbly reflection/vision

• 月映し (tsukikagami) - Moonlight reflection

• 水紋 (mizumon) - Rippling pattern on water

• 霧吹 (kirinuki) - Wisps of mist

• 瑠璃氷 (ruriko) - Thin ice like lapis lazuli

• 霊茨 (reihara) - Mystical/floaty barrage

• 渦光 (ukagami) - Swirling light/luminance

• 夢浮姫 (yumeukihime) - Floating maiden of dreams

• 霧霊 (kiorei) - Mist spirit

• 泡影如水 (awaikage ni izuru mizu) - Water resembling foam shadows

Let me know if any of these more literary Japanese options work better than "cream" in conveying the ephemeral, phantom-like quality implied in the original poem.
自分：
emphasise the colour
Claude：
Here are some alternative translations that emphasize the color aspect:

• 青い光りに手を出そうと上昇する

• 蒼い輝きに憧れながら舞い上がる

• 水色の煌めきに引かれて舞う

• 蒼穹の色に思わされて浮かぶ

• 青く輝く夢に浮かれ上がる

• 蒼空の色toneに浮かばれながら上昇する

• 蒼茫の色を追いかけて舞い上がる

• 空色の輝きに誘われながら舞い咲く

• 青い輪郭の中で煌めくものに手を伸ばす

• 浅緑の色きみ輝きを掴もうと舞い上がる

• 蒼海の色調にでた似たものに手を伸ばす

Let me know if any of these alternatives better capture the sense of being drawn to/grasping for something characterized by its luminous blue/green color.

自分：
no i mean words with the specifications i mentioned that work in place of "cream" but keep the reference to the colour of the cream

Claude：
Ah, my apologies for misunderstanding. Here are some options that replace "cream" while keeping the reference to its color:

• 蒼い泡花 (aoi awa-hana) - Blue-tinged foam blossoms

• 浅緑泡影 (ashiirokusawa-kage) - Pale green-tinged foam shadows

• 空色の膜 (sora-iro no maku) - Sky-colored film/layer

• 浅海色の繭 (asumi-iro no mayu) - Light sea-colored cocoon

• 水色輝きの媚薬 (mizuiro kagayaki no bizyaku) - Aquamarine-hued luminous nectar

• 蒼き色彩の夢幻 (aoki iroai no gengen) - Blue-tinted illusory vision

• 瑠璃色練習の紋 (ruriiro renshuu no mon) - Lapis lazuli-hued swirling pattern

• 蒼海色晶莹の芽 (soukairo shouei no me) - Sapphire-tinted glistening bud

Let me know if any of these options for replacing "cream" while keeping its color reference work better in the context.

………………………..
ChatGPTより和訳
インスピレーション：ジョン・ダウランドの曲
泣かないでください、悲しい泉たち
歌詞・作曲 by ジョン・ダウランド


泣かないでください、悲しい泉たち；
なぜそんなに急いで流れる必要があるのでしょう？
雪のような山々を見てください、
天の太陽は穏やかに浪費されています。
しかし、私の太陽の天の目は
あなたの泣きを見ません、
今は静かに眠っている
ゆっくりと、今は静かに眠っている。

眠りは和解です、
平和を生む休息です。
太陽は笑顔で昇りませんか、
夕方に美しく沈むとき？
だから休んでください、悲しい目よ、
涙で溶けないでください、
彼女が静かに眠っている間に。
ゆっくりと、今は静かに眠っています。

曲に関する情報：
週刊詩：
(ジョン・ダウランドの「泣かないでください、悲しい噴水たち」| 詩 | ガーディアン)
Poem of the week: Weep you no more, sad fountains by John Dowland | Poetry | The Guardian

曲のYouTubeビデオ：https://youtu.be/Ev29OdOl7nw
すべてのクレジットはアップローダーに帰属します。

シェリーの詩：
例：(パーシー・ビッシュ・シェリーの詩全集（編集：ハッチンソン、1914年）/西風へのオード| ウィキソース、無料のオンラインライブラリ
パブリックドメイン。)
The Complete Poetical Works of Percy Bysshe Shelley (ed. Hutchinson, 1914)/Ode to the West Wind - Wikisource, the free online library
Public domain.

影響：
パーシー・ビッシュ・シェリー、ポー、コールリッジ、ダウランド。
英国ロマン主義とルネサンス音楽全般。」

…………………………

Inspiration :
Song by John Dowland

Weep you no more, sad fountains
Weep you no more, sad fountains;
What need you flow so fast?
Look how the snowy mountains
Heaven’s sun doth gently waste.
But my sun’s heavenly eyes
View not your weeping,
That now lie sleeping
Softly, now softly lies
Sleeping.
Sleep is a reconciling,
A rest that peace begets.
Doth not the sun rise smiling
When fair at even he sets?
Rest you then, rest, sad eyes,
Melt not in weeping
While she lies sleeping
Softly, now softly lies
Sleeping.

Info on the song:

Poem of the week: Weep you no more, sad fountains by John Dowland | Poetry | The Guardian

Youtube video of the song: https://youtu.be/Ev29OdOl7nw 
All credits go to the uploaders

Shelley's poems:
Example:
The Complete Poetical Works of Percy Bysshe Shelley (ed. Hutchinson, 1914)/Ode to the West Wind - Wikisource, the free online library
Public domain.

Influence:
Percy Bysshe Shelley, Poe, Coleridge, Dowland. English romanticism and renaissance music in general. 

I think this poem was written by Dionysus.
葡萄酒の神による作詩だと思います。

…………………………………………………………………..
version 0.0
Cry! Cry ye out, sad fountains of mine,
Cry out in Pain!
The world---cool and unkind forests and streams,
the empty land and seas, the blue heavens---they tried
to stop, muffle and 'nim*1, tried to steal my crystal fountains--
they tried---let them try! they should have tried in vain. I am,
Crying loud so to drown out the far and despondent oceans,
Let my tears aflow---! Submerging all green and giant mountains.
Let afloat all the lonesome boats folded with leaves---carrying lonesome souls.
And let they live and swim----paler fishes more worthy of their salt!
All my bluer tears shall gag or strangle out all the more flippant sounds,
All beings earthly and celestial; from the lighter caerulean or grave, grave emerald.
Do now hold their breath--serene--with grief--though the Sun would rise…
Announcing yet another morn-----the rosy breezes of strength;
Could but churn up more sad-coloured foams.
Thus rested weary Moses and his walking-cane;
Upon the quiet undulating waves;
The blue, blue ocean, would split no more.
All things remembrance-worthy….rising to grasp the effervescent cream;
All things worth remembering…falling to dream the dark slumberous dream.
*1 =benim; take, bereave, benumb