What is “Goukon”? 5/25

When I was net-surfing, I found a twitter account. It was evaluating the people who she met in a “Goukon (合コン)”. These days, I don’t have chance to join it but it was interesting. Therefore I thought about what goukon is.

In Japan, there are many party called “goukon”. Some American ask me what is “Goukon”. It is very hard to explain it to American. There is not the culture in the U.S. so American don’t know the party like that.
I always explain it as a singles party. Goukon culture is very interesting. Generally a man and a woman who know each other organize the party. They bring the party their friends. The people who get together start drinking and talking in the party. Afterward, they sometimes go other places, like a Karaoke. Normally, the number of male and female is same, like 4 male people and 4 female people. Many younger Japanese join the party when they are students or workers. Generally, after having boyfriend/girlfriend, they don’t join it.

The people who join it expect to make friends with different gender people or to find a boyfriend/girlfriend in this party. The person who organize it is expected to bring eligible people in order to make participants happy. Some people get mad if there are no different gender people who are amazing.

I think there are some manners to have fun in the party. Don’t complain, don’t criticize, and give and take. If you always complain or criticize the different gender participants, you will not be invited to the party. If you don’t organize the party and you always ask friends to organize it, you will not be invited either. The organizer always thinks about the balance of participants. He/she will be disappointed if the organizing party is not fun. They are sometimes complained by participants. They feel responsible for the parties’ quality. He/she is not willing to invite friends who break the party mood.

Some people are too demanding. They want to find good guys through the party. Someone has high expectation so that they are sometimes dissatisfied. From female’s point of view, someone want to find the person who has a lot of money, stable job, good looking. On the other hand, from male’s point of view, they want to find the person who has good looking, will do every thing at home. (They are just examples!) Participants tend to be arrogant to choose the different gender people, but they are also chosen.

Some people categorize different gender people by their companies, schools, and so on. They also report it on the internet, like twitter. They evaluate people.
I think it depends on people, but these “reports” are a little bit funny and interesting. I think they tell us the tendency of the people who work for a company. We can learn what we should not do from the reports. I don’t think these analysis are totally true. However, these tendency are partly true. Anyway, if you would like to find good person, you don’t have to be seized by the prejudice. The wonderful meeting come unexpectedly and suddenly.
Additionally the attitude of evaluating others doesn’t give a good impression on the participants. If you meet ideal person in the party, you may lose the chance.

Some people find the future spouse and others don’t when they go to the singles party. Some people say “we never find good person in goukon.” However, I think it is very beneficial otherwise you don’t find good people. We can sometimes get along with the same gender friends through the party.

These days, companies provide many services about meeting someone. They are online matching apps, online drinking party services, large matchmaking party (“Machi-kon”). The way to meet others are diversifying. Some of my friends got married with the person who they met online. I think how to meet does not matter but how we behave is still essential for good encounter.