I applied for 英検1級 in January, 2019

Hello, everyone! Thanks for visiting my note.

When I opened note just now to start writing this article, a pop-up was displayed, telling me that the total number of likes I received reached 125. Good news for the beginning of the year! I thank all the readers for taking your time for my articles.

Today, I want to write about EIKEN.

To be honest, I'm not a competitive person, so I do not like exams. To borrow words from Michael Jackson, "I'm a lover not a fighter." (You may guess... yes, I'm listening to "The Girl is Mine".) 

Though I dislike exams and study works to prepare for exams, I decided to take 1st grade exam of Eiken, which will be held on 27th of this month.

I was around 10 or 11 years old when I first took 5th grade of Eiken. At that time, my mother was my teacher and we purchased a book which contained 3-year worth of past questions, and I solved questions one by one with her. I don't remember how I had learned English prior to that, but I was able to read and understand basic part of the questions. My mother had me read questions and answers aloud, and when I made mistakes or encountered a new word, she explained to helped me understand.

Since then, I took an Eiken exam once a year. My mother helped me study while I was in elementary school, but I started studying on my own after entering junior high. However, what I did to prepare for an Eiken exam did not change. I always learned from past questions. No vocabulary books or grammar books. Only past questions.

I never failed until I tried 2nd grade exam when I was in 3rd grade of junior high school. When I entered high school, I stopped taking Eiken exams, so my highest qualification of Eiken exams remained pre-2nd for about 10 years until I take another exam.

After I studied in the U.S. I returned to Japan and scored 960 on TOEIC test but did not take any Eiken exam. I worked as an English teacher for a while but decided to get a new job after 3 years. That was when I got my pre-1st grade on Eiken. (I skipped 2nd as I knew it would be too easy.)

At that time, the work as an English teacher at a nursery school was so busy despite its low salary that I didn't manage the time to prepare for the exam. I probably solved 1 set of past questions of reading test but didn't do anything for listening or 2nd interview test. Literally, nothing at all.

I knew I would pass when I took the exam, but the result was better than I expected. I scored more than 90% on both L&R and interview tests.

It's been a while since then. 1st grade of Eiken always remained in my mind, but I was never be courageous enough to face this test because I knew I did not have enough vocab or background knowledge to solve 1st-grade questions.

However, I realized the other day. 

If I never apply for it, I would never pass it.

1st grade of Eiken is not my goal. I've always thought these exams should be only the measurements but not the goals. It's the same this time.

I still know that my current English level is not high enough to pass this test, but I will give it a try to see where I am.

I'm still afraid of facing what lacks in my English ability, but to borrow words of Jessy J. "It's okay to be not okay." (Do you know the song, "Who you are"? It's a beautiful song...)

And it's okay even if I failed, because Eiken is not my goal. **It would simply help me to see where I am and what I need from now on. **That sounds helpful, doesn't it?

Today, I downloaded 1-year worth of past questions from Eiken website. (It's free! Did you know that?) I will be learning some new vocabs and understand the test structure from them. I may share you the result when it gets to me... or maybe not, if I'm too embarrassed... jk

みなさんから頂いた好き！が125回に達しました！ありがとうございます！

で、この度英検1級に申し込みしたんです。今後の展望を考えると取っておけば、英語できそうに聞こえるよなぁ…とか（笑）ずっと考えていたわけなんですけど、私の英語力では受からないのは十も承知（ボキャにズレがありすぎるから）なので、ずっと逃げてきたんですね。

でもこの前気づきました。

受けてみなければ、受からない。

もともと、こういったテストは好きじゃないし、テスト対策のための勉強なんて大嫌いなのもあって、私にとって、こういったテストが目的になったことはありません。テストはあくまで、自分がどのレベルにあるか確認するためだけのものだったわけです。

だからこそ、それでいいんじゃない？って開き直りました。

落ちるのは目に見えていますが、それでも受けてみて、今自分がどこにいるのか確認してこようと思います。足りていない実力を目にするのは苦しいけれど、何が足りてないのか少しでも明確にできたらなっていう気持ちで受けてきます。

結果はnoteに書こうかな…書かないでおこうかな…
書かなかったら赤っ恥もいいところの結果だったとお察しください（笑）

これを読んでくださっている方にも、同じく第3回の検定受ける方がいらっしゃったら、お互い楽しみましょうね！

Thanks for reading to the end!

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