中々踏み出せないあなたへ

English follows. （日本語の後に英語がきます）

What’s up, Fam! デイナです。

前回は、我慢する生活をやめたことについて書きました。
やりたいことがあっても我慢している自分がどうしてもいる。

だが、我慢が問題ではなく、何かしらの理由で踏み出せなかったらどうすればいいのでしょうか？

ぶっちゃけ

• 海外に行きたい。留学したい。
  でも、英語も話せないし、不安だし、お金もない。

• 自分の成長や将来の為に新しい学びや経験をしたい。
  でも、自己投資するのが怖いし、忙しくて時間がない。

• 今の仕事が忙しい、辛い、そもそも成長実感がない。
  でも、責任も大きいし、人手不足だし、中々辞められない。

• 好きなことをして生きていきたい。独立や起業がしたい。
  でも、始め方がわからないし自信がない。
  そもそも、今の仕事をもうちょっと頑張った方が何か身につくのではないか？

もちろん、自己投資したり、成功者から学んだり、海外に行ったりすると成長するし人生は変わります。
でも、そんな簡単じゃないですよね？

今回は、不安を乗り越える方法について話します。

お金を使う・新しいところに行く・今までしたことがないことする。この為にに踏み出す時に不安になることは普通です。

なぜなら、脳は

新しいこと＝危険
無知なこと＝死ぬ可能性がある

と思っているからです。

コンフォートゾーンについて

脳は慣れていない物は死ぬ可能性を高めると判断する為、慣れている物や状態、つまり現状維持を好むのです。

この慣れた、居心地の良い「コンフォートゾーン」という状態から抜け出しにくいのです。

簡単な例を挙げると、運動を頑張りたくても、今まで毎日家に帰ったらすぐにソファに寝転がりテレビをつける生活をしていたら、中々そのコンフォートゾーンから抜け出して辛い・面倒臭い運動をするのは難しいでしょう。

(コンフォートゾーンについてのメンタリストDaiGoさんの動画：https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=758Nz_rAMVc)

不安を乗り越えるには

繰り返しですが、コンフォートゾーンにより生存本能が強くなり、脳は現状維持を好みます。

しかし、現状維持=停滞。
人間は、コンフォートゾーンを抜け出して何かしらの変化を起こさないと成長しません。

では、人間という元々変化を嫌う、怠け者の生き物がどうやったらコンフォートゾーンを抜け出せるのでしょうか。

それが、一人ではできないのです。
人間は群れたがる生き物でもあり、周りに強く影響されます。

学校で仲良い友達が全員優秀であれば、自分も勉強するのではないでしょうか。逆に、アスリート組や、人気者組もいますよね。

また、周りに留学やワーホリに行ってる人が多いと、自分も興味を持つ可能性が高まりますよね。

更に、個人事業主の周りには他の個人事業主、経営者の周りには経営者や成功者が多いですよね。

つまり、自分が目指している先やなりたい状態を叶える為にはそれを既に達成している人、すなわち自分の今のコンフォートゾーン外の人と一緒にいることが最初のステップではないでしょうか。今自分が感じている不安や乗り越えられない壁を既に乗り越えている人ですからね。

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What's up, Fam!
It's Dana.

Last time, I wrote about when I stopped telling myself "I can't."
Maybe you keep telling yourself "I can't go study abroad or travel, or invest in new learning experiences. Not now."

But, what if there's a reason you can't push yourself to try these new things?

• Maybe you want to go abroad but you're afraid to 
  because you can't speak English
  or you're afraid
  or you can't afford it.

• Maybe you want to invest in new learning experiences 
  but you're afraid to let go of your savings
  or you're too busy because of your work or daily life.

• Maybe you feel that your current job is too busy or too hard, or that you're not learning anything from it,
  but you're afraid to quit 
  because you hold too much responsibility
  or your company is understaffed.

• Maybe you want to make a living doing what you love, or start your own business,
  but you don't know how to start nor do you have the confidence.
  Maybe you think you're better off staying at your current company for a few more years.

Do you have these thoughts?
Because I sure did.

Of course, investing in yourself, learning from successful people, going on solo trips and traveling abroad will help you grow as a person.
But it's not that easy, right?

This time, we'll go over how to get over that fear that's stopping you from taking that first step.

It's NORMAL to be afraid

In fact, whenever you try to take that first step towards personal growth by spending money, going to new places, or going through new experiences, your brain is going to raise the OH NO THAT'S NOT A GOOD IDEA red flag. Ha. Surprise.

That's normal, okay? 

You folks who've studied biology probably know this, but this is because the brain thinks that

anything new = dangerous
the unknown = you might DIE

The brain isn't too fond of things that it isn't used to, as it registers the "new" and "unknown" as potentially life-threatening.
And that's why we experience homeostasis, where the brain and body try to return to its usual condition (aka whatever's easy and safe).

This "easy, safe" condition is called the "comfort zone." 
Oof. Well we know it's hard to step out of this zone.

The Comfort Zone

If you're unfamiliar with this term, just imagine you're a lazy couch potato (if you're not already) that wants to get into shape. Well, if you've been crashing onto the couch and turning on the TV every single day after you get back from work, it's definitely going to be hard to leave that comfort zone and force yourself to actually work out.

(Here's a TedTalk discussing the comfort zone: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmN4xOGkxGo )

So to reiterate, your comfort zone is linked to your survival instinct, which is why the brain wants to keep your current condition exactly how it is.

But if everything stays the same, how are you supposed to grow as a person? 
If you really want to reach that next stage of self-development, something has to change.

If human beings are naturally lazy and like to avoid change, how does one manage to step out of the comfort zone?

The thing is, it’s nearly impossible to do so on your own.
Humans are social animals and are largely affected by those around them.

At school, if your friend group is the studious one, you also probably often have your nose in a book most of the time.
The same goes for the athletic group and the popular group.

Again, if a lot of people around you are going abroad for their studies or for a working holiday, you’re more likely to become interested in going abroad yourself.

Furthermore, if you’re a freelancer you’re likely to be surrounded by other freelancers, and if you’re an entrepreneur, you likely have other entrepreneurs or successful people around you.

What does this all mean?

Well, if you have some sort of goal, in order to muster the courage to step out of your comfort zone, first you need the right environment to do so. Being surrounded by people who have already achieved your goal will help you become closer to reaching that stage, as those people have likely experienced the fears you’re facing or have overcome the same barriers.

If you want to change your current situation, first you must change your surrounding environment.
Surround yourself with people who you respect and admire, and you’ll be one step closer to leaving your comfort zone and achieving your goal.

English lessons: https://lin.ee/ImMlxpo

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YouTube Channel for English learners: https://www.youtube.com/@user-eg2ig7pf3q

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YouTube Channel about Life in Japan: https://www.youtube.com/@DEfromJAPAN