seven the youth (ultraseven for adults) #16 darkness eye

This story is a homage to Ultra Seven, Tsuburaya and dedicated to The Youth.

#16 darkness eye

HATAORI Kazuo 
age 48

     The rope is hanging down from the lintel between the rooms, the end of which is like a ring.  He has been staring at the rope ring for hours.  All he calls the property is 3LDK condo he bought a few years ago, which he has not yet completely finirhed paying for.  Every room remains untidy and messy.  The deepest room with a window is covered with paperboard boxies and something pulled out from them.  Over the floor of the second room with a small veranda are a lot of clothes with some washed and some not yet together.  They prevents the veranda from commanding a fine view of the seventh floor.  The floor of living  room is stacked with books, papers, DVDs, and trashes.  The sofa only leaves room to seat himself.  The bedroom is the most terrible, filled with porn magazines and air dolls.  In contrast, the kitchen is clean, because he cooks.  So, there is no garbage or plastic packs and nothing smells, while it is a hoarding house.  

     The rope is falling down between a living and a bed.  Kazuo will not die, but he would no longer like to live.  Through looking into the rope hole, he tries to look for life, and sometimes, putting his head in the ring seems to makes himself happy.  He has despair.

(What has made me what I am?)

Around one year ago, he felt as happy as anybody all over the universe.  Kazuo taught English in public high school.  His father was also a teacher, which was the reason that Kaz had wanted to be a teacher ever since he could remember.  As a result of his hard work, he realized his dream.  At first, he sometimes suffered from the gap between ideal and reality, but more than twenty years had passed without noticing, being supported by colleagues and friends.  Anyway, he liked to be at school very much.  Therefore, he coached the basketball club after school almost every day, and also on weekends judged training games.  After club, he prepared for classes in English teachers' room until late at night, and tidied up desks in his classroom, sometimes singing with a guitar there.  The hobby grew so much that he came to perform on the street at the nearest station on Fridays.  He restlessly worked, and met a great many people in a variety of fields, so he thought it a waste of time to sleep.

     Some day, he got married and got a first kid, but a wife and a son lived in U city, T Pref for some reason.  He had sadly divorced his former student, and the second marriage should have made him happy that time. 

     One year ago, everything began to go wrong.  Three months after he moved to his fourth school, diagnosed with a depression, he had to take a leave of absence from school.  Since he had hardly ever had a rest, he suffered to almost death from doing nothing.  No matter how many times Kaz asked the principal to let him back to school after a month of summer vacation, somehow the boss stubbornly insisted he have a rest for a while.  He looked for, found, and practice something to do.  For instance, he got some licenses such as cooking, amateur radio, and large motorcycle.  English Proficiency Test, Kanji Aptitude Test, to rubic cubes, finger whistles and so on.  However, whatever he did, he could not in the least clear his mind up.  With great difficulty, he managed to reach his return training in hospital, when his long leave made him unpaid.  Nevertheless, he got invoices or bills one after another, and ran short of savings, just when his father lost his eyes and feet because of diabetes complication.  The days began when he went back and forth between hospital in TOKIO and hometown in Tochigi.  In addition, his mother suffer dimentia, and each time he returned home, her condition got worse, coming to suspect repeatedly that Kaz had taken her money.   Although it was not allowed to, she was eager to accompany his husband in hospital.  Even though he drove her home, she went to hospital by taxi or on foot, when he took his eyes off.

     To his surprise and disappointment, there was almost no money in parents' home.  Drawing just a little pension that month, he found only 700 yen in his bank account.  There should have been retirement money after forty years of teaching at school, but almost nothing left, to compensate Mother's waste.  Her dimentia made her buy the same things repeatedly.   For example, one day he found ten boxes of butter or pepper in the fridge.  Payment reminders reminded him that if he did not pay, some household belongings would be seized.  The pension had to be paid for his medical cost.

     Moreover, Father-in-law told him that he should divorce Daughter if he could return to work.  He did not understand his depression, and Kaz himself found it difficult to get along with Wife.  Recently, he rarely met his son.  He regularly attended the training to return, but uneasily wondered whether he would actually be able to.  And he hated himself because of what he was.  After training, he drove hometown, taking care of Parents, consulting with Doctors, and signing consent forms for surgery.  Returning to TOKIO at 3 AM, and after a few hours of sleep, attending his training, repeatedly.  The repentance made him exhausted, close to the limit, which led him to angina, a kind of heart diseases.  He had a stent, or an artificial small pipe, buried into the heart vessel.  Suffering from a series of unhappiness, he felt uneasy, lonely, lost, distrust, and despair.  A little younger, he could restart his life, and older, give up.  The age now took the way to run away and thd place to hide into from Kaz.  He sometimes thought that he would sooner die than live in dishonor.  He had no fun, nothing but seeing high school friends, mates of his music band, The Youth.  They were always his rock, supporting him.  But he did not want to show them how miserable he was.

    There is not any light but darkness.  Kazuo lies on the bed staring the rope with a faint light in the dark.  While he is looking into the ring, he finds one big eye looking back at him.  He can no longer feel surprised if anything happens - if the eye talks to him.
《How Negative a Power you Have!  What do you Want?》
"Nothing."
《Money, Power, Heaven, or Endless Life?》
"No, no need."
《Anybody you Don't Want?》
(One person, who told me that he wanted me to come to his school.  He is to be blame for all my misfortune.  Mr. Oka, the principal of K High.)
Kaz liked the former school very much.  However, K High needed a new coach of basketball, and was located closer to his home, so it would cost less than the present high school.  Considering all things, he decided to move.  Mr. Oka told him to apply for the interview of teacher recruitment if he hope to.  As told, he took the interview, and did successfully well.  But Mr. Oka adopted not Kaz but three teachers of no recruitment, which did such shock and damage as he could not stand.  He was betrayed by trust.  Deadly unforgivable fuck you to death!

     The moment Kaz answers, "I have one," the darkness eye of alien AN-NON moves and sticks to his forehead.  The alien has no substance but an eye, haunts someone who answers its question, and eats his or her sadness.  The more negative he or she is, the more power it will have.
《Let us Go Out to Kill the one Who you Want to.》
Staying inside the house, he has no idea whether it is in a daytime or at night, but opening the door, it is dark around.  Not to eat or sleep, but his strong desire just to kill manipulates his body and mind.  
He walks on barefoot about 30 minutes, to reach O Station, where Kaz used to sing on Fridays when he was happy.
(Bastard, you also Took this Place.  You shall Definitely Die.)

     On the same pedestrian deck in front of the department store connected to the station, a T Univ student Kaz has known well is singing with Gibson guitar, no audience.  There is quite a difference in their age, but once they hit off about music, they would often drink.  
"Kaz sensei!  Long time no see!  How have you been?"
MOROBOSHI speaks to Kaz from behind.
(Long Time no See.)
"Aren't you going to sing any more?"
(No, no More.)
"Why do you walk with no shoes on?"
DAN has already noticed something strange about Mr. Oka.
"Sen-sei?"
Holding him by the left arm, DAN finds the third eye on his forehead, which glares into the red glasses.
(What are you?  Get out of Kaz sen-sei!) sends his telepathy.
《I'm GOD, and GOD will Make its Wish Come True.》
(No way, impossble.  You cannot be god.)
《Even not, you could not even Touch me.  If you Attack me, this Guy will be Killed, you Know.》
"It doesn't matter.  Attack and kill me," Kaz starts to  utter words against the alien's will. 
"No more life.  I've lived enough life.  On one hand, I've got the happiness, while, on the other hand, I've given the unhappiness to a great many people.  Naturally, I have to pay for that, because what goes around comes around.  I'm not, never a good person both now and in the past, you know, so I'll fall into hell, anyway.  No, neither heaven nor hell, there is nothing but nothing.  I was afraid of nothing, so could not kill myself.  This moment might be what is called hell on Earth.  However much I might dislike or hate anyone, I cannot be a killer.  Everybody I made great trouble, I'm greatly sorry for bothering you.  Long good bye, nobody."
Hardly has Kaz finished before his confession makes the eye of darkness peel off his forehead.

     The moment, the beam penetrates alien AN-NON.

     MOROBOSHI carries Kazuo to his condo, on his shoulder.
"Are you OK, sen-sei?"
(OK, aren't I?)
"Even in the darkness, if you have only to move on, you will surely find your way."
(What do you mean?)
"A friend of mine told himself so, when he passed his station in the last train and had to walk home 20 kilometers."
(I don't understand.)
"Anyway, sen-sei, cheer up.  As long as you live, your day will come.  Death will give you nothing, be it good or not."
(Don't smart off!)
Kaz tries to say so, but does not.
"Let's sing and drink again.  See you on the street."
With the words, DAN disappears.
Both before and after haunted by the alien, his sufferings remains quite the same.  However, his edge of mouth looks slightly loose.

#16 the end