（一言ジャーナリング風味チャレンジ0--）2020.07.09 軽量 (One-word journaling flavor challenge 0--)

7/9 仕事で連日（小さな話だけど）決断を迫られることが多い。本来は内容整えて上に相談、なんだろうけど、逆にスタッフから聞かれることもあり、即断してしまうことも多い。
正直これが結構きつい。
「決められる人」としてその場に役割があって、仕事をもらえてるとするならその点に限ってはありがたい。ただ、心底興味がないこと（触れたくないものさえある）を決めるのって、自分ごとにしていないとできない。そして自分ごとにした瞬間に、その興味のないことを自分の「お気に入りボックス」というか「関心があるものボックス」に入れなければならなくなる。
別の、新たに興味を持ったり好きになるはずだった何かを押しのけて。
「仕事ってそんなものだ、興味を持つ人が勝ち」わかる。特に就職から20代はそこを意識して、集中して働いていた。最初から知らないことを嫌だと決めつけないように、「これもどこかで自分の財産になるはず」と思いながら。何にでも興味を持って、タスクをこなせる力が大事、だと思っていた。
でも今もう少し進んで振り返ると、自分の周りで楽しそうだったり充実した生き方をしている人って、「心が向かう方向」の取り組みを止めなかった人で。なんでもそこそこやってる人で手本にしたい先輩とかって現状いない。
これってやっぱり「置かれた場所で咲きなさい」と言う考え方の罠だと思う。
変わることが必要な時だってある。もし身近にそういう人がいたとして、それを止めない人間でいたい。共に走ることは難しいけど、できれば勇気づけられるような。
逆に足引っ張るタイプの人が多い時点で、今度は自分が自分の環境を変えるターン、なんだと考えている。
photo:中華風唐揚げに大根サラダと笹かまぼこ、玄米

7/9 I often have to make decisions every day (although a small story) at work. Originally, it would be a matter of organizing the contents and consulting with them, but on the contrary, there are times when the staff asks and often makes an immediate decision.
To be honest, this is quite tight.
If there is a role on the spot as a person who can be decided and get a job, I would be grateful for that point only. However, you can't decide what you really don't care about (some things you don't want to touch) unless you do it yourself. And at the moment I did it, I had to put what I was not interested in in my "favorite box" or "interesting box."
Get rid of something new or something you would have liked.
"Work is like that, people who are interested win." Especially in my twenties after I got a job, I was conscious of that and worked intensively. Thinking that "this should be my property somewhere" so that I don't dislike what I don't know from the beginning. I thought it was important to be interested in anything and to be able to perform tasks.
However, looking back a bit now, looking back, those who seem to have fun or have a fulfilling life around themselves, who have not stopped working in the "direction toward the heart". I don't currently have a senior who wants to imitate anyone who does anything.
I think this is a trap of the idea of ​​"bloom in the place where it is placed."
Sometimes it's necessary to change. If there is such a person close to me, I want to be a person who does not stop it. It's difficult to run together, but it's encouraging if possible.
On the other hand, when there are many people who pull their legs, I think that it is the turn that I change my environment.
photo: Chinese-style fried chicken with radish salad, bamboo shoots, and brown rice