フィリピンでフェミニズムについてスピーチをしたら拍手喝采を浴びて涙が止まらなかった話し
その日、私はステージに立った。声はすっと通った。お腹の底から出ていた。気がつくと堂々と、プレゼンをしていた。そして最後には、拍手喝采を浴びていた。
＊＊＊
私が通っているフィリピンの語学学校は、スピーチとプレゼンテーションのテストがある（コースによる）。生徒が自分でトピックを決め、スクリプトを作り、授業中に文法や発音、ステージパフォーマンスの指導を受け、放課後に自主練も挟みつつ、当日オーディエンスの前で発表をする。
先生から「Misatoは、どんなトピックにする？」と聞かれたとき、私は迷わず「フェミニズムについて話したい」と言った。フィリピンに来て２ヶ月。先生たちとフェミニズムや女性の生き方、ジェンダーイシューについてたくさん話してきた。だいぶ心境の変化もあった。そのことについてスピーチがしたいと思ったのだ。
日本企業には女性リーダーが少ないこと。男女で賃金の格差があること。家父長制が根強いこと。日本の政治家のほとんどは男性であること。日本のコンビニには女性の水着の写真が掲載されている雑誌が当たり前に置いてあること。日本で女性の首相が誕生していない、する気配がないこと。ほとんどの日本人女性は結婚時に自分の姓を選べないこと。
男性からかけられた言葉、されて嫌だったこと。国の少子化対策に感じるプレッシャー。世代の離れた人から言われる何気ない失礼な一言。
モヤモヤする。違う気がする。でも言い返せない。自分の主張や感じていることに自信が持てない。センシティブなトピックだから気軽にしゃべれない。
そう嘆くばかりの私に先生たちは「おかしいことは、おかしいと言っていいんだよ！」と真正面から言い放った。
アジアでもっともジェンダーイコールな国、フィリピンの女性たちは強かった。怒りだけでなく、いつも健やかな明るさを纏っていた。社会問題に対して、諦めずに声をあげていた。信念を持っていた。ポジティブに生活と向き合っていた。
自分を心から受け入れ、信じられる人は、他者にも同じように振る舞えるのかもしれない。なぜなら先生たちは、私以上に私を信じてくれていたから。
私が無理だと思うことも「無理じゃない、できる」と言い張った。「やっぱりスピーチやりたくない。できない」と弱音を吐くと、「あなたが世界に伝えたいことは、人々を勇気づける意味のあることでしょ？」とモチベーションを思い出させてくれた。「そもそも英語ができない」と、へこたれれば「今はできなくても、いつかできる。だからやめないで、続けて」と背中を押してくれた。私の努力や夢、意見を、心から信じてくれた。
ただどうしても、センシティブなトピックを選んだがゆえのプレッシャーは最後まで付きまとった。ステージに立つことへの恐怖も、心にこびりついていた。
なぜなら日本からのアンチコメントが頭の片隅にあったから。フィリピンに来てからいくつかフェミニズムにまつわる記事を書いた。
ありがたいことに、友人・知人から「感動しました」「勇気をもらいました」「応援しています」という心温まる嬉しい感想をもらった。けれど、知らない匿名の人からのアンチコメントも続いた。
腹も立ったし、落ち込んだりもした。悔し涙を流した。どうしようもなく孤独を感じた。自信もなくした。やるせなくなって、もうやめようかとも何度も思った。声を上げるのをやめて、また口をつぐんで我慢して自分を誤魔化していれば、闘うことを諦めてしまえば、よく知らない人から攻撃されることもない。傷つかなくて済む。
それにフィリピンに来てどんどん本音がむき出しになる自分にも戸惑っていた。私の場合、日本ではこんなにストレートに自分の意見や感情を表現する機会は少なかった。賛否が分かれることをわざわざ表現しない。思ったとしても言わない。場を乱すようなことは言わない。言ったとしてもオブラートにつつむ。人の顔色を窺って自分の立ち振る舞いを決めることも少なくない。
"空気を読む"というリミッターを外すのが怖かった。「思想強めな人、過激な人とか思われるのかな」「なんか変わった、とか思われるのかな」日本の友達が見たらなんていうだろうか。どう思われるだろうか。そこにいるのは、ただ日本で生活をする２８歳の日本人女性だった。
それでもなお、フィリピン人女性の先生たちは、揺るぎなく背中を押してくれた。
"自信を持ちなさい”
”他人と比べなくていいの”
”自分の身体は自分で決める”
”世界を変えたいのなら、まず自分から変わること"
"アンチではなく、味方になってくれる人の意見にフォーカスするの”
”書き続けて。あなたには味方がいることを忘れないで”
”それは意味のあることだから”
そして当日。
目の前には、数人のオーディエンスがいた。パネリストの先生たち、日本人の男女の生徒もいた。私をいつも励ましてくれる先生も見にきてくれていた。
私にとってはただの学校のテストのスピーチではなかった。「世界に自分の声を届ける」人生で初めての舞台だった。
大きく息を吸って、ステージに立ち、笑顔で目の前の景色と向き合った。
私の声を、世界に届けるんだ──
A pleasant morning to everyone.
I'm Misato Kaitsu from Japan.
I am a Japanese writer.
みなさん、おはようございます。
貝津美里と申します。
私は日本人のライターです。
Today I will give a speech about feminism. Japan faces many gender issues. So today, for the first time in my life, I'm going to talk about feminism.
I hope my voice reaches the world.
今日は「フェミニズム」についてスピーチをしようと思います。日本は多くのジェンダーイシューに直面していて、今日私は生まれて初めてフェミニズムについて語ります。
私の声が世界に届きますように。
＊＊＊
What comes to your mind if you hear the word “feminism “.
あなたは「フェミニズム」という言葉を聞いたら何を思い浮かべますか。
Radical ideas? A dangerous claim? Women who hate men?
過激なアイデア? 危険な主張？男嫌いの女？
If any of these applied to you, it is a misconception .
これらに一つでも当てはまるなら、それは誤解です。
Feminism is an ideology for everyone to live without discrimination. In other words, it's not just for men or just for women.
フェミニズムは誰もが差別を受けることなく生きるための思想だからです。つまりフェミニズムとは、男性だけのものでも、女性だけのものでもないのです。
There was a time when women were told that they didn't need to study.
かつて女性は「勉強する必要がない」と言われていた時代がありました。
There was a time when women did not have the right to vote.
かつて女性には、選挙権がなかった時代がありました。
There was a time when women were told that playing sports was a shame.
かつて「女性がスポーツをするのは恥ずかしいことだ」と言われていた時代がありました。
There was a time when women could not work in society.
かつて、女性が社会で働けない時代がありました。
There were women who opposed such discrimination and changed the society.
そんな差別に反対し、社会を変えた女性たちがいます。
Thanks to that, I’m now free to choose a career, vote in elections, play sports, and study.
そのおかげで私は今、自由に職業を選択し、選挙に投票し、スポーツをし、勉強することができている。
Nevertheless, I had misconception of feminism.
それにもかかわらず、私はフェミニズムを誤解していました。
Gender is a very sensitive topic in Japan. In Japan, feminists are seem as people with radical ideas.
Today I stand on stage and talk to everyone about feminism, but I couldn't do that in Japan.
日本では、フェミニストは過激な思想を持つ人々とみなされています。 今日はこうして舞台に立ち、みなさんにフェミニズムについて語っていますが、日本ではできませんでした。
I mean, I believed I was a feminist, but I was afraid to tell other people. Because I didn't want other people to hate me for the reason of misconception of the idea of feminist.
つまり、私は自分がフェミニストであると信じていましたが、他の人に言うのを恐れていたのです。 なぜならフェミニストの考えに対する誤解を理由に、他人から嫌われたくなかったからです。
But now I'm not scared anymore. I don't even hold back.
Because I don't want to give up on my life just because I'm a woman.
でも今はもう、怖くありません。遠慮もしません。なぜなら、"女性だから"という理由で自分の人生を諦めたくないからです。
It was an inspiration for me to change because of the female JIC teachers who gave their opinions about feminism.
フェミニズムについて意見を述べてくださったJIC（語学学校）の女性教師の存在が、私にとって変化のきっかけとなりました。
When I told them “I am a feminist”, they said, “Me too！”
私が「私はフェミニストです」と言うと、彼女たちは「私もだよ！」と言ってくれました。
When I spoke to them about Japan's gender issues, they expressed their anger and empathy, and joined me in facing our fears.
私が日本のジェンダー問題について話すと、彼女たちは怒りや共感を表明し、一緒に恐怖に立ち向かってくれました。
My teachers told me "Believe in yourself. Be confident. Value your beliefs and claims. As a writer, keep writing articles about feminism, because it means a lot."
先生たちは私に言いました。
「自分を信じて。 自信を持って。 自分の信念や意見を大切にして。 ライターとして、フェミニズムについて書き続けて。それは大きな意味があることだから」
I was very moved and empowered by the teacher's words.
I learned to love myself. I'm not alone. That was the first time in my life that I found feminist friends.
先生の言葉にとても感動し、エンパワーメントされました。私は自分自身を愛することを学びました。私は一人ではない。人生で初めて、フェミニストの友達を見つけた瞬間でした。
Thanks to the Filipino female teachers, I had the courage to stand up against discrimination and oppression. I was ready to fight for myself and many other women.
フィリピン人女性の先生たちのおかげで、差別や抑圧に立ち向かう勇気が持てました。自分とたくさんの女性のために闘う覚悟が持てたのです。
＊＊＊
Why hasn't Japan had a female prime minister?
なぜ日本には女性首相が誕生しないのでしょうか？
Why are there so few female leaders in Japanese companies?
なぜ日本企業には女性リーダーが少ないのでしょうか？
Why is it difficult for Japanese women to balance work and childcare?
なぜ日本の女性は仕事と育児の両立が難しいのでしょうか？
Why are there only men who are doctors and only women who are nurses?
なぜ医師は男性だけ、看護師は女性だけなのでしょうか？
Why is there a wage gap between men and women?
なぜ男女間に賃金格差が生じるのでしょうか？
Why are there magazines with nude photos of women in Japanese convenience stores?
なぜ日本のコンビニには女性のヌード写真が掲載された雑誌が置かれているのでしょうか？
Why can't most Japanese women choose their own lastname when they get married?
なぜほとんどの日本人女性は結婚時に自分の姓を選べないのでしょうか？
Is it okay for Japanese women to stay like this?
日本人女性はこのままでいいのでしょうか？
＊＊＊
My occupation is a writer. I want the power to change the world with the power of a pen.
私の職業はライターです。 ペンの力で世界を変える力が欲しい。
For that to happen, I first need to change.
そのためには、まず私が変わらなければなりません。
I am confident with myself, value my beliefs, and express my opinions.
私は自分に自信を持ち、信念を大切にし、自分の意見を表現する。
I am now trying to be reborn as a strong woman.
私は今、強い女性に生まれ変わろうとしています。
I'm proud to be a feminist.
私はフェミニストであることを誇りに思っています。
I hope that gender issues will disappear from the world.
I wish for a world where men and women are equal in government, businesses, and families. I hope that the day will come when women around the world will no longer suffer from sexism.
私は世界からジェンダー問題がなくなることを願っています。政府、企業、家族において男女が平等な世界を望みます。
世界中の女性が性差別に悩まされなくなる日が来ることを願っています。
プレゼンテーションを終えると、拍手喝采が鳴り響いた。それを全身で浴びていた。目の前の光景が信じられなかった。感動で涙が止まらなかった。
数ヶ月前まで「フェミニストかもしれない、と言うことが怖い」と思っていたにも関わらず、今では自分の足でステージに立ち、自分の声で自分の意見を伝え、目の前の人たちから賛同をもらっている。涙はとめどなく流れた。
「自分には羽がある、大空に羽ばたけるんだ」と気づいた鳥のように翼を羽ばたかせ、私は自由に飛んでいた。誰にも抑圧されず、口を塞がれることなく、私が思うことを、思うままに言葉にしていた。
そしてスピーチの途中、途中、場はとても盛り上がった。
「Yes！！！agreeeeee！！！！」
「Fuuuuuu！！Foooo！！！」
私の主張に対する同意や賛同の声が、たくさん返ってきた。そんな中でスピーチができた私は、とても幸せだった。私の言葉一つひとつに向けられた笑顔、真剣な眼差し、傾聴の姿勢、全てが自信となり、自分を羽ばたかせる翼になってくれた。
そして思った。本当はずっと、こうして「声」を出したかったのかもしれない、と。
2014年9月20日に国連本部でスピーチを行った、イギリスの女優エマ・ワトソンのように。
「女性がフェミニズムという言葉を使うのに怯えていたら、一体どうやって男性も使い始めるようになるのでしょうか？自分に問いかけてみてください。自分でなければ、誰がやるの？今やらなければ、いつ？」
2012年12月にTEDxEustonで行われた、ナイジェリアの作家・チママンダ・ンゴズィ・アディーチェさんによるTEDxトーク「We Should All Be Feminists（男も女もみんなフェミニストでなきゃ）」のように。
「私は男嫌いではなく、男性のためではなく、自分のためにリップグロスを塗ってハイヒールを履く、ハッピーなアフリカ的フェミニスト！」
あのステージに、私も立ちたいと思っていたのだ。
自分には無理だと思いながらも、きっとどこかで思っていたのだ。
YouTubeで彼女たちをただ眺めるだけではなく。ただ不満を言い続けるだけでなく。問題に気づきながら黙っているのではなく。
私にだって口がある。私にだって感情がある。私にだって怒りがある。私にだって自分の幸せを、自分の手で手繰り寄せる力がある。
変わらない現実に嘆くだけではなく、自分が生きている間に変わらなかったとしても次の世代は苦しまずに済むかもしれないと信じて１mmでも前に世の中を進めようとする気概がある。
そしてそう思っている自分を、自分で信じてあげたかったのだ。声をあげることを、誰よりも自分に認めてもらいたかった。
「あなたは、できる」
今日、私はできた。自分にできると言ってあげられた。ステージに立った。声を出せた。
パネリストの先生たちは「心を動かされたよ」と言ってくれた。廊下ですれ違うたびに「スピーチ良かったよ！自信持ってね！」と声をかけてくれた。
私の声は、世界に、届いたんだ。
**English ver**
When I gave a speech about feminism in the Philippines, I received applause and couldn't stop crying.
That day, I stood on stage. The voice came through easily. It was coming out from the bottom of my stomach. Before I knew it, I was confidently giving a presentation. And at the end, there was a standing ovation.
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The language school I attend in the Philippines has speech and presentation tests (depending on the course). Students decide on their own topic, create a script, receive instruction in grammar, pronunciation, and stage performance during class, and then perform on their own in front of an audience on the day of the event, while practicing on their own after school.
When my teacher asked me, ``Misato, what topic would you like to talk about?'' Without hesitation, I said, ``I want to talk about feminism.'' It's been two months since I came to the Philippines. I have talked a lot with my teachers about feminism, women's lives, and gender issues. There was also a considerable change in my state of mind. I wanted to give a speech about that.
There are few female leaders in Japanese companies. There is a wage disparity between men and women. Patriarchy is deeply rooted. Most Japanese politicians are men. It's commonplace in Japanese convenience stores to carry magazines with pictures of women in swimsuits. Japan has not had a female prime minister, and there is no sign of one. Most Japanese women cannot choose their own surname when they get married.
What I didn't like about the words and things a man said to me. The pressure felt by the country's efforts to counter the declining birthrate. A casual rude word said by someone who is a generation away from you.
I feel confused. I feel different. But I can't say it back. I don't have confidence in what I say or what I feel. It's a sensitive topic so I can't talk about it casually.
As I was lamenting this, my teachers told me straight up, ``If something is wrong, it's okay to say it's wrong!''
Women in the Philippines, Asia's most gender-equal country, were strong. Not only was he angry, but he always had a healthy cheerfulness about him. He never gave up and spoke out against social issues. I had faith. He faced life positively.
People who can wholeheartedly accept and believe in themselves may be able to behave the same way towards others. Because my teachers believed in me more than I did.
Even when I thought it was impossible, he insisted, ``It's not impossible, I can do it.'' "I don't really want to give a speech. I can't do it," I said in a weak tone, but he reminded me of my motivation, saying, "What you want to convey to the world is something meaningful that will encourage people, right?" Whenever I felt discouraged, saying, ``I can't speak English to begin with,'' he would encourage me and say, ``Even if you can't do it now, you can someday.So don't give up, just keep going.'' He wholeheartedly believed in my efforts, dreams, and opinions. However, the pressure of choosing such a sensitive topic stayed with me until the end. The fear of standing on stage also stuck in my heart.
Because the anti-comments from Japan were in the back of my mind. After coming to the Philippines, I wrote several articles related to feminism.
Thankfully, I received heartwarming and happy comments from friends and acquaintances, such as ``I was moved,'' ``I gained courage,'' and ``I support you.'' However, anti-comments from anonymous people continued.
I felt angry and depressed. I cried tears of frustration. I felt hopelessly alone. She also lost confidence. Many times I felt like I couldn't do it anymore and thought about quitting. If you stop raising your voice, if you keep your mouth shut, if you deceive yourself, if you give up on fighting, you won't be attacked by people you don't know well. You don't have to get hurt.
I was also confused by how my true feelings became more and more exposed after coming to the Philippines. In my case, I didn't have many opportunities to express my opinions and feelings so openly in Japan. Don't go out of your way to express that there are pros and cons. Even if I think about it, I won't say it. Don't say anything that will disturb the mood. Even if I say that, I'll turn into an oblate. We often decide our own behavior by looking at people's complexions.
I was afraid to remove the limiter that allows me to read the atmosphere. I wonder what my Japanese friends would say if they saw me: ``Will people think I'm a strong-minded person or an extreme person?'' ``Will people think I'm weird?'' What do you think? The person there was a 28-year-old Japanese woman living in Japan.
Even so, her Filipino female teachers gave her unwavering support.
"Be confident." "You don't have to compare yourself to others." "You decide what your body is like." "If you want to change the world, you have to change yourself first." "I need someone who is on my side, not against me." Focus on your opinions.” “Keep writing. Remember that you have allies.” “It matters.”
And on the day.
There were several audience members in front of me. There were also panelists, teachers, and Japanese male and female students. My teacher, who always encourages me, also came to see me.
For me, it wasn't just a speech for a school test. It was the first time in my life that I was able to ``deliver my voice to the world.''
I took a deep breath, stood on stage, and faced the scene in front of me with a smile on my face.
Deliver my voice to the world──
A pleasant morning to everyone. I'm Misato Kaitsu from Japan.
I am a Japanese writer.
Today I will give a speech about feminism. Japan faces many gender issues. So today, for the first time in my life, I'm going to talk about feminism. I hope my voice reaches the world.
＊＊＊
What comes to your mind if you hear the word“feminism“.Radical ideas? A dangerous claim? Women who hate men?If any of these applied to you, it is a misconception .
Feminism is an ideology for everyone to live without discrimination. In other words, it's not just for men or just for women.There was a time when women were told that they didn't need to study.
There was a time when women did not have the right to vote.
There was a time when women were told that playing sports was a shame.There was a time when women could not work in society.
There were women who opposed such discrimination and changed the society.Thanks to that, I’m now free to choose a career, vote in elections, play sports, and study.Nevertheless, I had misconception of feminism.
Gender is a very sensitive topic in Japan. In Japan, feminists are seem as people with radical ideas.Today I stand on stage and talk to everyone about feminism, but I couldn't do that in Japan.
I mean, I believed I was a feminist, but I was afraid to tell other people. Because I didn't want other people to hate me for the reason of misconception of the idea of feminist.
But now I'm not scared anymore. I don't even hold back.Because I don't want to give up on my life just because I'm a woman.
It was an inspiration for me to change because of the female JIC teachers who gave their opinions about feminism.
When I told them “I am a feminist”, they said, “Me too！”
When I spoke to them about Japan's gender issues, they expressed their anger and empathy, and joined me in facing our fears.
My teachers told me "Believe in yourself. Be confident. Value your beliefs and claims. As a writer, keep writing articles about feminism, because it means a lot.
I was very moved and empowered by the teacher's words.I learned to love myself. I'm not alone. That was the first time in my life that I found feminist friends.
Thanks to the Filipino female teachers, I had the courage to stand up against discrimination and oppression. I was ready to fight for myself and many other women.
＊＊＊
Why hasn't Japan had a female prime minister?
Why are there so few female leaders in Japanese companies?
Why is it difficult for Japanese women to balance work and childcare?
Why are there only men who are doctors and only women who are nurses?
Why is there a wage gap between men and women?
Why are there magazines with nude photos of women in Japanese convenience stores?
Why can't most Japanese women choose their own lastname when they get married?
Is it okay for Japanese women to stay like this?
＊＊＊
My occupation is a writer. I want the power to change the world with the power of a pen.
For that to happen, I first need to change.I am confident with myself, value my beliefs, and express my opinions.I am now trying to be reborn as a strong woman.I'm proud to be a feminist.
I hope that gender issues will disappear from the world.I wish for a world where men and women are equal in government, businesses, and families. I hope that the day will come when women around the world will no longer suffer from sexism.
After the presentation, there was a resounding applause. I was bathed in it. I couldn't believe the scene in front of me. I couldn't stop crying out of emotion.
A few months ago, I was scared to say "I might be a feminist," but now I was standing on stage, conveying my opinions with my own voice and receiving agreement from the people in front of me. Tears flowed endlessly.
Like a bird realizing it has wings and can soar into the sky, I spread my wings freely. Without being oppressed by anyone, without being silenced, I spoke my thoughts as I felt them.
And during the speech, the audience was very enthusiastic.
"Yes!!! agreeee!!!!" "Fuuuuuu!! Foooo!!!"
Many voices of agreement and support for my claims came back. Being able to give a speech in such an environment made me very happy. The smiles, serious looks, and attentive listening directed at each of my words became my confidence and wings that allowed me to fly.
I realized that I might have always wanted to "speak out" like this.
Like British actress Emma Watson, who gave a speech at the United Nations Headquarters on September 20, 2014.
“If women are scared to use the word feminism, how on earth are we going to get men to start using it too? Ask yourself: If not me, who will? If not now, when? ”
Like the TEDx talk by Nigerian author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, ``We Should All Be Feminists,'' held at TEDxEuston in December 2012.
"I'm not a man hater, I'm a happy African feminist who wears lip gloss and heels for myself, not for men!"
I also wanted to stand on that stage.
Even though I thought it was impossible for me, I must have thought about it somewhere.
Don't just watch them on YouTube. Don't just keep complaining. Instead of being aware of the problem and remaining silent.
Even I have a mouth. Even I have feelings. I have anger too. I have the power to take my own happiness into my own hands.
They not only lament the unchanging reality, but also believe that even if things don't change during their lifetime, the next generation may not have to suffer, and they have the will to try to move the world forward, even if it's just by a millimeter.
And I wanted to make myself believe in myself. More than anyone else, I wanted to be recognized for having a voice.
"you can"
Today I was able to do it. I was told that I could do it. I stood on stage. I was able to speak out.
The teacher panelists said, ``It moved me.'' Every time we passed each other in the hallway, he would say, ``Your speech was great! Be confident!''
My voice has reached the world.
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