True Love Loop Death

The person I love died.
In front of the coffin containing her body, I saw her off for the 101st time.
This time the death was suicide. Last time, she was killed by another person.
There was no set sequence to her death. Every time, on a certain day, at a certain time, as if guided by fate, she suddenly disappears from our sight.
Next thing I know, I'm in a coffin like this.

Ah, it's happening again. It will come again.
I just watched in amazement as my body was enveloped in a white blur.
Now I'm going to fly back in time, two days before she dies.
In the back of my ears, I could hear her voice.
Her first words are always this.

--I've got a boyfriend.

I've known her for a very long time.
It's been about eight years since she moved in next door to my house when I was little.
We spent most of our days together, as our parents were very much in tune with each other.
When her mother said to me the other day, "I'm sure you two will make a great couple," I was pretty seriously upset.
But I had the same feeling.
I never doubted that we had met to continue our life together.
The man who became my boyfriend was a senior acquaintance of mine.
He was a good-natured senior member of the same badminton club.
His face is not the best, but he seems to be a kind and simple person.

"So...
I know.
And then...
I heard.
And then...
"Apart from...
I just wanted to tell you that...
It doesn't matter now.

--Die.

The girl who shyly recounts the scene of her confession is truly a maiden in love.

--Please die.

Her cheeks blush as she shows me her 102nd first time.

--Please die.
Please die. Please die. Please die. Just die. Just die. Just die. Just die.
Die alone, on your own, without my knowledge, without anyone knowing about it...

...Please, don't make me have to deal with your death any longer.

She walked out of my room.
Now my two gray days begin again.
There is a slight difference. That is, my heart was broken.
In the past, I've tried many times to get my heart back on track, but I just couldn't bring myself to do anything more.
No, the truth was that I had already reached my limit long ago.
But as long as she didn't live, I couldn't get out of this loop, so I kept trying. But that was over now.
I locked myself in my room.
Perhaps my parents were aware of my state of mind, but they didn't say anything to me, and then the fateful two days came.

I'm off!

I heard her cheerful voice from outside the window.
If I don't interfere with her, she will go on a date with her boyfriend and then get killed by a truck at the intersection on her way home.
I sat down on the edge of the bed, watching her from behind the curtain as she rushed towards me.
If I just give up, I'll feel a lot better.
I had spent the past two days doing whatever I wanted to do if I was going to be in a loop.
Time passed as if I were dozing off in a doze.
The sky was tinged with the color of sunset when the crows began to echo.

It's almost time.

Soon, she'll be gone.
A crosswalk at an intersection. She will be killed by a truck when the driver ignores the signal.
Her boyfriend, realizing this, ran away without her.
Then she is run over by a truck and dies instantly.

I opened my eyelids.

I opened my eyelids and said, "Let's look at her one last time.

As the first day I gave up, as the 102nd life, I decided to make this life a memorable one.
I shoved a thousand yen into my pocket and stood up.
It was the first time I had been out of the city in two days, and the streets looked different.

I don't remember it being this bright at...

It was as if something had been lifted from my mind.
In my strangely clear vision, I looked around at the people around me.
--For some reason, I saw a lot of smiling faces.
When I arrived at my destination intersection, I could clearly sense a change in myself.

Whereas before I used to see only gloomy expressions on other people's faces, now I saw only happy faces, smiling faces, and hopeful faces.
Was it my nature to feel nostalgic? I don't know anymore, but I didn't feel bad.

The light at the crosswalk turned red.

She was talking to her boyfriend on the sidewalk across from me.
It was the first time I'd seen her from the front on this route.

I didn't know she was smiling like that...

Her smile was like the sun.

"What?

A stream of tears flowed down my cheeks.
I'm sure you've heard of it.
That's when my eyes met hers.

--The signal changes.

The signal changes.

A loud horn sounded.
When her boyfriend noticed the approaching truck and ran away, I took his place and rushed over to her.
She looks at me, freezes, and then turns her attention to the truck that is coming at us from the side.
The collision is just around the corner.

"...No, no!

...I still don't think I'm going to be able to handle your death.

At that moment, I pushed her as hard as I could. I'm not sure if she'll scrape her knee where she fell or not.
I'd rather die than watch you die any longer.

As I pushed her away, she gave me a very sad look. Seeing her like that, the words I said to her were.

"I'm glad.

I loved you.
I loved you, and you also cared for me.
And so I threw myself into the darkness.

*

The person I loved died.
His corpse is always heartbreaking to see.
He always died defending me.
I kept him away, and this time I thought I could save him, but he saved me again.

As long as I exist, he will continue to die.

So there is only one thing for me to do.

This time, I will die alone.

That's how I will start my life over for the 103rd time.