高山が作家として更に飛躍することを願い創作活動を支援したい！～エッセイ「ガーターベルトの女」の作品化を目指して【37】

妄想家・夢想家無名居士の夢物語の記録です
無名作家高山のエッセイ「ガーターベルトの女」の
映画化芝居化・・・その他いろいろ作品化できればなんでも
なんて途方もない夢を観ています
叶わないのが夢

2019.5.28～高山のことやトンネル工事現場で何がおこっているかなど：高山と石川啄木の共通点は？

後段の管理人日記に高山のことやエッセイのこと
とくに映画や音楽評論を遠慮なく書いて欲しいみたいなこと
それから自分のことも少し踏み込んで書いてました
それならもう書くことはないってとこですが
それを書いたのはもう昔のこと・・・といっても二年前
その二年前と今では何がどう違うのだろうね
ここは高山のことを書かなくてはね
彼からは毎日電話がある
別に毎日電話かける約束をしたわけじゃないし・・・
（眠くなったので小休止）
1時間ほど昼寝したみたい
まだ頭は昼寝状態で何も進まない
参ったなあ
ちょっと他のことが気になってるからここは書けないんだな
それなら気になってる他のことを他のところに書けばいい
それを済ませてここにまたくれば・・・
（ってことでここは小休止・・・またかいな）

夕食済ませて7時半
ここから時間はゆっくりあるものの　さて何を書こうかというところ
ブログを読んで少しコメントを書いたが　いつものようにそれも日記に
高山のことを書いていこうか　今日はまだ電話はないが
昨日の話では工事中に少しヤバいことがあったようだ
詳しくは触れないがNO2のAがあわやということが
事なきを得て笑い話になったというからよかったが
新しい現場で工事が始まったばかりの時期は
よほど注意しないといけない
まして女の子が関連する事故だとなると
それみたことかと元請けはじめ競争相手の下請けの会社のあれこれから
総批判を受けることは間違いない
せっかく古い体質のトンネル業界に新風を吹き込む高山の
これまでの努力が無になることも考えられる
注意しているとはいえやはり人にはミスがないとは言えぬ
今日は起工式の予定だと聞いたが天気の具合はどうだったろう
会社側は会長が出席するという
仏は社長が出席するのが普通だが　社長はそんなことには興味がなさそう
今高山の仕事は順調だが社長との関係がうまくいっていない
というのは社長が高山を毛嫌いしているからでその現認は
高山の仕事ぶりに対する嫉妬ではないか
営業は高山が全部仕事を取ってくる
社長はほとんど営業していない　この前たまに仕事を取ってきたが
飲み屋で知り合った業者との話で高山に言わせると赤字になるらしい
トンネル業界での仕事の評価が上がっている高山への社長の反発は
給料を上げないことらしい　会長は高山の方針を支持しているが
給与に関しては息子の社長の言うがまま
そのとばっちりが私に及ぶ　なぜかというと電話が終わるとき高山は
2千円でも千円でも都合してもらえないかという
頼まれれば断れない私は数か月前までは言われるままに振り込んでいた
しかし私にも都合がある　いつまでもそうできない事情も出てきた
2～3か月前になるが月に決まった額だけの支援にすると告げ
そのあとは無理だと断ってきた
お金にルーズなのは自分がそうだから人のことを言えないが
前にも書いたように借りたという意識がない
だから返すという意識もない
石川啄木のことを重ねてしまう
啄木も借金王だった金田一京助の話が有名だが
その体質を考えてみると才能に対する自信がそうさせたのだろうが
人間としては果たして評価されることかどうか
何らこの件に関して改善されていないのでその無神経さが嫌になるが
これを腐れ縁といえなくもない
縁を切ってしまいたいが　やはりその才能を惜しいと思うのか
ずるずると関係は続いている
千円2千円の無心はほとんどなくなったが電話の後に決まって
月初めの〇円はよろしくと必ず念押してくる
金銭に関してのしつこさ念押しはある病気のせいだと
以前彼が言ったことがあるが　それにしても私にすればしつこい
しかしそのことを私は心にしまって何も言わない気にしていないふりをする
金銭に関してのことは前にも書いたと思うが
私が裕福なら何も問題にしない
私もギリギリのところで暮らしているのでついグチってみたくなる
それさえなければと思うが
それが付いてくるので仕方がない

"Woman of the garter belt" Episode 10～『夢をかたちに』無名居士のブログから

2017/10/16(月) 午前 11:50

The goal is a complete translation of 15 episodes
Complete translation in 10/16
Episode 10-1

After writing this essay, I will write a goodbye with M next time, I think the "Garter belt" series will be over.
However, I do not remember why friendship continued even though I broke up.
I remember well that I parted from M was very painful myself. However, I remember it only fragmentally, so how do I write it?
I think that the memory of a person may be further beautified only in a good part.

I remembered a lot after I wrote it.
I have been to a classmate and M shop.
I also went with a yakuza 's best friend who passed away.
Although it was a yakuza at that time, it was a small local group of people, but since he was 15 years old, he seems to have already taken a good deal in the local.
Later, he moves to a big group and dies.

At that time, I went to M's bar with my best friend of Yakuza and my high school friend.
Here, I will make a false name of high school friends to Tanaka.
Tanaka is a baseball club, everyone likes it, he is a popular person. He graduated and worked at a timber company, but dropped his finger in the accident.
I do not remember where the finger was, but it was slightly missing, but later he does the same job and drops his fingers again.
Although it seemed that there was no obstacle to work, when he later told me that he would like to do the tunnel construction work, I declined.

At that time his fingers were slightly lacking, three friends drank at the M shop.
I went drinking with yakuza's best friend several times. He likes movies with the influence of me, he was reading a book well since he was 20 years old. He had a quiet drinking type.
He already had a tattoo, but he always hid it. M liked Tanaka.
When there was an interesting movie, M taught him, entertained him with interesting things.
Yakuza's best friend always told me, "M is good"
He said well, "You, you captured a good woman."

In time of something, Tanaka and three people gathered at M's shop.
Tanaka and Yakuza 's best friends, since junior high school were the same, there was no particular problem. Tanaka without carelessness was liked by everyone.
However, when Tanaka got drunk, he said "I want her, everyone please help me."
At that time, when I was able to make a new girl, I was holding a singles party, mainly Tanaka and classmate, as much as possible.
About 10 of her friends gathered and went to a singles party at a pub.
I almost sponsored with her and I did not participate normally.
Tanaka was completely denied by the woman at the a singles party organized by me.
Because I heard that Tanaka looks bad and not manly.
I was dating a woman Tanaka gave her for a while. She and her friends said that Tanaka was not masculine.
Tanaka's reputation that he was not masculine was surprising.
Certainly, his appearance was not good.

When I started dating with M, casually asked her, "Do you want to collect women's friends and have a singles party?"
After saying, I regretted that she had no female friend.
M was a bitter and she thought that it was impossible for the party to think that there were so many enemies, she replied, "I will do it."
Yakuza's best friend did not have a particular girl, I said, "Come to the party." he said, "Why did you say such a thing to me?" But when M told him, 'You come also', he immediately answered "I will do".
I was not afraid of the gangster's best friend, but everyone who knew him was scared. Indeed, when he was still young, his quarrel was furious.
But when M told him, he immediately answered and said, "I will go", so when I said, "You can not win M," he smiled.
M was a singles party for the first time and said to me "Let other people do it," I said, "That is different".
"M and I are organizers, it's a role to make the party go smoothly," I told her.
"I understand that we can collect friends, but you and I are okay with the settings of other people," M said.
"People who could not have boyfriend or girlfriend at the party would be nice to drink here," I said.
"Even though everyone else does not have to come to us,"
and M said, Yakuza 's best friend laughed and answered, "It is fun to impersonate another person's relationship, but friends will feel bad if they know it later."
I also said from the side, "We only volunteer to organize".
M said, "It certainly feels disgusted if it comes later, but I do not mind, but I do not care botherly to hurt people or let your trust be lost."
And, as M says "How many people should I collect", I said, "How about seven people excluding us?"
Men and women are 7 to 7.
I and M are included, and there are 16 people in all.
When I did it with more than twenty people in total, before, because there were too many people and it did not work, I wonder about 16 people.
It was surprising that M replied "Members are small", but I said "That member will succeed."

Tanaka would have been good if she were a woman anyway.
Eventually, 18 people got together at the party.
M told a friend I invited to the party, "I think that everyone is pretty and cute personality".
As M says "Personality is not selfish like me," I said, "If it is OK" then M was laughing.
To tell the truth, I was surprised that M attracted 8 friends.
"When inviting only my high school friends to parties, there is something to make me great, so I put half of my junior high school friends and girls from your high school," M said.
Certainly, M's high school was the second best place in the city, and M's outgoing commercial department was almost the same as the top, but my high school is said to be a foolish high school with bad gatherings So I was surprised by the concern of M.
I invited myself to the party for seven people, but I was busy and left one to Tanaka.

I borrowed the banquet hall of the pub.
However, Mr. Tanaka invited a bad guy with alcohol. "He will certainly cause trouble," I said.
Tanaka did not know he had bad habits.
Well, as I left to Tanaka I was bad, I thought that if the guy got drunk and began to rampage it would drag it out anyhow.

The level of girls' looks gathered by M was high.
Besides, they worshiped M and joined because M invited.
M should have received a love letter from juniors and classmate girls at middle school and high school.
The girls who participated were such girls.
Even though we saw her, they were neat, M and I came inside and enriched the story.
M 's speech was good, so it got excited.
They exchanged one pair of telephone numbers at a fairly early time, and they were talking with each other.
Tanaka may be able to do her in this way. I told Mr. Tanaka more aggressively.
Yakuza's best friend talked to the girls normally, but he was observing the surroundings.
Going beside him and saying that you also wanted to find a partner, he laughed and answered, "I am a general girl is impossible." "M is good for me," he laughed.
Although it was summer, he was wearing long-sleeved Ron T and came in a casual appearance.
Long sleeve is because the tattoo can not be seen, he was well integrated into the party.
Then he said, "It's fun to watch this and I wish Tanaka managed somehow."

When all the drinks entered step by step, four pairs of couples were created among the participants.
When two people who exchanged their phone numbers first come to me and M, "I will drink for two people because I keep the membership fee a lot," he said. "Oh, that's good," I said and I saw them.
There is also jealousy if someone can make a couple out of them, but others should do their best to manage it somehow.
Go out to send them couple with M and 「Be happy!」 We said that.

2017/10/16(月) 午前 9:54

Working in English October 16

Episode 10
Yakuza 's best friend seemed surprised and pointed to Tanaka, who calls a girl to go with him.
I said to him, "Do you not invite me?" I said, "There is no reason to invite you," he said.
The girl checked with a friend of the Yakuza again that "I will try to invite a different girl," as she go bI was excited when I was watching M's throat drinking orange juice.ack to the counter, "Let's go".
M sat down on our seat after some people came home. When M said "I am tired", it seemed relieved while drinking orange juice.
"You are estrus," a friend of Yakuza whispered at my ear. I answered, "That's right."

After all, Tanaka did not go well.
However, married beyond thirties and children are also present.

Yakuza's best friend is not in this world now.

I am doing fifty in the morning and just working is going well, but I always suffer from money due to family circumstances.
I did not think that it would be like this.
I am just going to work but I always feel chased by money. I can not say that it is happiness.

I heard that M is married and made a child, I heard it with rumors of the wind, but I do not know if she is happy.

Suzuki, the son of the president of air conditioning, seems to have gone bankrupt and long ago.
I had not imagined such a thing more than twenty years ago.

To the death of a yakuza's best friend, I bought a Marlboro that he was sucking but I am going to visit the grave.
In those days, I did not think he would die.

It is like Tanaka doing the most consistently now.
I happened to meet him a couple of years ago, he was with a son who is a junior high school student and a wife with a homely feeling.
Actually, I guess Tanaka seems to have the most happy if I think now.
Tanaka was really fat, but I could see the goodness of the same as usual.

But it is no doubt that M and Yakuza's best friends were living like scattering sparks in those days.

I think that I was also in that.

2017/10/13(金) 午後 2:45

Working in English October 14
Episode 10

M praised as she looked at it and smiled lightly. And she laughed and said to me "You too coolly show it."
Suzuki left the store so as to escape, when he paid a fee completely while shivering and trembling.
While M laughed and said to a close friend of gangsters that it was cooler this time than my boyfriend, she said that I lost while winking lightly for me.
The atmosphere of the party improved with the move of M.
Yakuza 's close friend said in a small voice, saying, "The coolest thing is M", with grinning. Sitting on the side of Tanaka and saying "Go in spirit" purposely deliberately said.

In the end, it was four pairs that promised to exchange telephone numbers at the party and then meet.
I did not expect the party to go so well.
Tanaka did not find her either. A male and a female who did not find the other party made a second party at M's shop.
My best friend, Tanaka and Yakuza brought a bottle, ice, water and beer to the box, not to bother with M, and we had a sorry party in Tanaka.
I thought that I should not get drunk at M 's store, so I drank beer.
Tanaka was depressed but he thanked us many times while drinking.
Then, when the girl came to our box, she said, "I came to see what kind of guy M's boyfriend was, but it was fun and you and M were happy with each other in breath."
Then she wrote a phone number on the paper and said, "You were awesome, you should go out for a meal next time," to yakuza's best friend.
It was a beautiful girl when I saw her.

2017/10/12(木) 午前 4:35

Working in English October 12
Episode 10
Suzuki tells my yakuza 's best friend "Please show me under Ron T"
And he said, "Even though it's a yakuza, you are always with him."
Girls around me was also surprised because my best friend did not even know that it was yakuza.
When the gang of yakuza stood up, he went as "I'm sorry but I will return" and handed M a membership fee.
M did not receive it and said in a loud voice, "Who is the one to return?"
"Then this guy is a gangster, my boyfriend's best friend and gentleman," M told the girls.
She said "Please drag him out" so that everyone could hear it.
Yakuza 's best friend signaled to me that he smiled and said that we should do it.
When I kicked Suzuki from behind, my yakuza's best friend grasped the neck and made it stand.
And, as he grabbed Suzuki 's heart, he said in a quiet voice. "Do you know what will happen if you leave without paying dues?"

もう3時　なんとなく時間が過ぎて

2017/10/9(月) 午後 3:40

正確に言うと
なんとなくではないのだけど
一応なんとなくシリーズしているつもりなので
無理してなんとなくとつけている
まあいいか

英訳が進んでいないので
これから集中しようと思う
10話まで来たという
気のゆるみが一つはある
もう一つは例の掲示板

さあ集中しよう
ところで昨日　彼から電話があった
私をモデルに何か書きたいそうだ
面白いと思っている
彼は今書く意欲が盛んだ

「ガーターベルトの女」　１　２　３　４　５　６　７　８　９　１０　１１　番外編　番外編2  14  15  番外編3
「ガーターベルトの女　外伝」（フィクション編） 1
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高山君のエッセイへのコメントと私の近況など～『無名魂』管理人日記から

2017/5/12(金) 午前 11:19

どなたかのコメントがあった時に
返事のコメントをするくらいでいいかな
と思っていますが
今回は一読者として
コメントしようと思いました

そう思ったのは
一つには聾唖者が出る映画が紹介されていたこと
二つ目には淀長さんの名があったこと
三つ目に映画音楽について書いていたこと
こんなところでしょうか

『キッズ・リターン』については
青春時代を振り返るのは未だに苦手なのでパス
ボクシング関連でいえば
安藤さくらの『百円の恋』を
思い出したことでしょうか

『あの夏、いちばん静かな海。』は
私の世代では『名もなく貧しく美しく』を思い出しますね
その上映当時は14歳なので記憶にあるのは
リバイバル上映だったでしょうか
『続・名もなく貧しく美しく　父と子』（1967年）もありました

内藤洋子が出ていたようです
リアルタイムで観たのはこちらの方だったかもしれません
声が届かない位置でも手話で心を通じ合える
そんな状況にやはり感動するものがあります
セリフのない映画・・・映像詩にあこがれました

これまで高山君のいくつかの映画に関する記事を読んで
観たいとは思っても実際にビデオを借りてまで
観たことはありませんでしたが
『あの夏、いちばん静かな海。』は
今晩にも借りて観ようと思っています

そうさせるものが今回の雑感にはありました
淀長さんの話がでたのは
この映画を絶賛したということもあって
彼にとっては成り行き上の記述でしょう
しかし私にとっては我が意を得たりという思いです

前作のエッセイをブログにアップしたあと
そのことをメールしました
そこで淀長さんのことをちょっとだけ書きました
そして彼に「映画の語り部」になって
という思いを伝えました

彼には映画へのこだわりがあり
自分の意見を持ち
どんな権威にも頼らず批評する
映画の内容を分かりやすく伝える力と
人に観たいという気持ちを起こさせる力もある

私がそのいい例でしょう
映画のことを書く「語り部」？
「語り部」という表現はおかしいかな？
とにかく映画のことを書いてほしいという願望です
映画を好きな人は多いけど書ける人は少ない

もうひとつ、映画音楽について
厳しいことを彼は書いていましたね
久石譲といえば
その世界の権威ですよね
権威に臆することなく自説を述べる

それができる人を私は尊敬します
自己の価値観がしっかりしているからですね
私は自分の考えより権威を信じる方です
自己が確立していない証拠です
その権威への批判は今　安倍政権にも向いています

その怒りをエッセイに書いていました
怒りをとっくの昔に忘れてしまった私には
彼の怒りを頼もしく思います
彼が肉体的にも精神的にも
若いということの証明です

若さは貴重です
若いから
彼は今書く意欲に満ちています
書きたくても書けなかった私は
彼が羨ましくてなりません

何もせずに老いてしまいました
おいて何をしているかろいえば
未だにAVをせっせと保存しています
したいことをすればいいを
言い訳にしてね

高山君は今
確かなものを文章として残している
書きたいことを書き
書くことで学んでいる
そんな彼に書く場を提供できて嬉しい

ずっと以前
彼は本当に小説を書いているのか
そう思った時もありました
作品を送ってと言っても
破ってしまったと言ったこともある

彼を信じるようになったのは
ケイタイ小説サイトに
アップしている作品を観た時から
内容はどうでもよかった
というより読むのさえ私は面倒になっていた

彼が小説を書いている
そのことだけでよかった
このブログを始めるには
他にも私なりの理由はあったが
ともかく今彼は精力的に書いている

私はブログを宣伝することは何もしていない
何をするのも面倒だから
彼がどうなるか　私がどうなるか
二人の関係がどうなるか
どうでもいいことだ

なるようになる
70年　私が得た結論
気楽なものだ
楽なな道を選んだ者の
当然の帰結でしょう

自分らしく生きている
そう言えるでしょうか
そんな私に最近ちょっとした変化が
動くこと努力することが嫌いな私が
夜　歩き始めました

糖尿病が進行し
腎臓に影響が出始めていると
お医者さんに言われたからです
いつ死んでも悔いはありませんが
今少し長生きしなければと思うようになりました

２０ほど年上の同居人を介護しているのですが
どうも彼女の方が長生きしそうなのです
それじゃまずいので歩き始めたというわけ
私も足が悪いので自転車を杖代わりにしての
ゆっくりゆっくりの散歩です

それで効果があるか疑問ですけどね
ご褒美にと甘い物買ったりコーラ飲んだり
そんなことしてたら何もかも帳消しですが
まあしないよりましでしょう
それに楽しみもできたんです

スマホは持ってても
ほとんど使ってなかったのですが
散歩中に気になる風景を写し始めたのです
それが結構楽しくなって
そのために歩くという感じになってきました

例のインスタってやつも始めましたし
写真を撮られるのも撮るのも嫌いだったんですよ
いまでもちょっと恥ずかしいですが
夜でもあることだし暗いから
私のことなど誰も見えないでしょ

自慢じゃありませんがフォロワーは０
いいですね
独り遊びが好きですから
最後に
高山君なら分かるかな？と思う画像を添えておきます

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