May 19,2023: Nature (2), My Character(1)（性格(2)、ボクの性格(1)）

As I wrote the day before, I have a similar character to that of Yuki Kashiwagi. I have never cried tears of joy or regret in the last forty years, either. When I was a child, I was a crybaby. I had often fought with my friends and was made to cry. I was also scolded by my parents so often that I cried a lot. In particular, when I was in primary school, I was so bad at school that my parents scolded me until I cried. When I was in high school, I had also fought with all my classmates and cried buckets in front of them.
After graduating from university, however, I stopped crying out of joy or regret. I do not know what stopped me from crying. I, myself, think that even after graduating from university, I must keep the same level of emotions as before. I have often been moved by films, TV dramas and sporting events as before. And I have often gotten angry or frustrated, too. Instead, I have more chances to make me angry and frustrated than before. Nevertheless, at no time have I cried out of them. I do not know why.
It seems that I cried so much as a child that my tears are gone.

　昨日の記事で書いたように、ボクの性格も柏木由紀さんに似ています。 かれこれ40年間、涙がでていません。子供の頃は泣き虫でした。友達とケンカをして、しょっちゅう泣かされていました。また、親にもよく怒られて、泣いていました。特に、小学生のころは勉強ができなくて、親に泣くまで怒られたものです。また、高校生の時は、クラス全員と大げんかをして、人目を憚らず大泣きしました。
　ところが、社会人になってから、感情で涙を流すことは一切なくなりました。なぜ泣かなくなったのかはわかりません。自身では、大学卒業後も、感情のレベルは以前と変わらないといます。昔のように、映画、ドラマやスポーツで感動します。また、怒ったり、悔しいと感じることもあります。それどころか、怒りや「哀」の悔しさを感じる機会は、増えたぐらいです。でも、どんな時も涙を出したことはありません。不思議です。
きっと、子供の頃に一生分泣いたので、僕の涙が枯れたのでしょう。