230208 dumbbell jerk・時間との付き合い方

dumbbell jerk 16kg
12:48、最高34回

やはり
時間との付き合い方が
解ってないなぁ
と凹んでます

アレが出来た筈だ
コレも出来たんじゃないか
などと
振り返ってしまいます
実態は
思いつかなかった以上
出来なかったのだ
と想うのですが

未だに足掻いている
そんな状況です

なあに
今に始まった事では
無いのです

子供の時分から
同じ処をグルグル
横行闊歩シながら
なかなか
コレだという
仮説にも提案にも
辿り着けない日々です

その所為か
振り返りが
ドンドン億劫になり
苦手になり
イヤになり
帰りたくなり
果ては

振り返らない
という
意識的とは程遠い
そんな境地にも
ナりつつ在ります
いや
もうナっちゃってる
かも…( ･_･)ﾑｰ

先を見る
なんて事が
ハナから出来るなら
今頃は
違う人生だったと
想うんですよね～

だから
今を足掻きながら
先を見ずに進む
そんな日々です

dumbbell jerk 16kg
12:48, max 34 times

I still don't know how to deal with time.
I'm still depressed.

I could have done that.
I could have done this.
I look back and think "I could have done this...".
The reality is that I didn't think of it.
I don't think I could have done it.

I'm still struggling
That's the situation

You know...
It's not the first time it's happened.

Ever since I was a kid.
Going around in circles
Walking sideways and strutting around
I can't seem to come up with a hypothesis
I can neither come up with a hypothesis nor a proposal

Maybe that's why
I've been too lazy to look back
I'm not very good at it.
And I hate it.
I hate it.
I wanted to go home.
Eventually, you don't look back
It's a far cry from conscious
I'm getting to that point.

Or maybe I've already reached it....

If I could only think ahead...
If I could have done it from the beginning
I think my life would have been different by now...

That's why we have to make the best of the present
Struggling on
Moving forward without looking ahead
These are the days