あらまEp.1　　　　　　　　　　　　　Are you Mad since I am bad on beD

Hi, my name is Joon(Writer name). I would like to post an English literary works in Japanese cultural discourse. As a foreigner who is majoring Japanese culture in 早稲田大学、 I would like to introduce various forms of literary works about different issues in Japan by English. 

Are you Mad since I am bad on beD
 
 
 #1
“Are you ‘retarded’?”
 
“No, I’m not ready…..”
 
Ji-Young looks at me as if I don’t know my own name (It is actually true since I never need one, so doesn’t have one). Looking frustrated, Ji-Young says
 
“Listen, 3.14, if you want to work in sex industry it is the most basic thing to know your own sex. Costumers should know your sex so that they can use services based on their fetish and sexual orientation.”
 
She has a point. How can I be successful in sex business if I don’t know my gender? It is humiliating that I am even not prepared for a job before applying for it. 
 
“I’ll come back later…..it’s just that I am not ready to come out…….for this course of being a part of the society here.”
Feeling embarrassed, I quickly walk toward the elevator going up to a ceiling, which is the only exit to get out of the building. I always wonder why all the houses and buildings in this island uses their ceilings as exits. Just like always, the glass on the exit breaks. It happens all the time. Now everyone is quite numb about breaking glass ceiling.
But who cares? This shall be my home, the very place I positioned myself. I was not born in this island (or maybe shall I call it continent since it is bigger than an island I was born). My very first memory began with me in an island without anyone. As far as I know, I definitely had ‘parents’ but never been in my life. For me, the island was so-so, neither deep sorrow nor intense joy was present. Island gave me sufficient amounts of foods and materials that I desire. Only ‘human-made’ was this device, called spectacle, which taught me ‘knowledge’ for the purpose of encountering ‘others’. One random day, ‘others’ arrived at my island. I finally met with visualized ‘others’, which was revolutionary for me. Humans convinced me to move to their island where everything is much bigger and developed. I thought it is always ‘more the better’ and agreed to follow them.
The first thing they did was asking question about me whom they rescued. I told them my personal information as far as I can, based on what I taught myself from spectacle. They weren’t very satisfied with my answer, expressing discomfort for lacking information about me. After they found out I speak same language and share same blood(?) with them, leader figures of Tree-sum (that’s what they called their island) just led me in to their community. Unlike the past, as 3.14 in Tree-sum society, I had to find a job to feed myself. That’s why I visited Ji Young’s store, heard sex business is an easy way of making a lot of money.
Tree-sum community has this strange categorization of its citizens. It is based on difference of one’s body, especially focusing on sexual organ. There are two big groups in Tree-sum, Bad and Bed. As I said they have different sexual organs. Everyone belongs to one of these two groups. What I heard in Education, an activity that gives me essential information to blend into the society, there is a strong hierarchy between Bad and Bed. Bad is a gender (that is what they call this standard of classification) with a sexual organ called ‘penis’ or ‘phallus’. Bad is usually physically stronger than Bed, which makes them dominate all the social roles related to physical activities. Since Bad is in charge of almost all social roles, they cause all the troubles in Tree-sum. So, they end of calling themselves Bad, as a satire for bad stuff they did. Bed is a gender with a sexual organ called ‘xxxxx’(I was educated to be cautious of its name, so….). The name Bed just means they are the ones who work in bed, which I think very insulting. When I arrived, a controversy about gender have already started.
 
What sparked the dispute between Bad and Bed was science. One of Tree-sum’s prides is its sophisticated and flawless mathematic program and algorism (simply called ‘system) which can measure ‘social value’ in absolutely objective and scientific way. All the philosophers and scientists all together admitted its perfection. System was used to evaluate the social productivity of individual Bad. Every single Bad gets their score and positioned to a social role which suits their capacity. Then one day, the system accidentally evaluated a capacity of one Bed. This was unprecedented and thought to be impossible since the system can only measure a person who studied ‘S.A.Y’ . S.A.Y is short term for ‘Stop Asking WhY’. S.A.Y is believed to help humans to know everything so that they don’t necessarily need to ask. Since all the productive jobs are for Bad, Tree-sum government never tried to teach S.A.Y to Bed. However, this young Bed disguised oneself to Bad, studied S.A.Y and got measured. The score of this young Bed named Narvatilova was higher than majority of talented Bad. The system scored her high enough to work as top government official. Suddenly, cases like Narvatilova were found and revealed all around Tree-sum. Beds demanded a right to study S.A.Y. Now, both Bad and Bed are able to get measured by the system. Many Bads were replaced from their jobs by Beds who scored better than them. This phenomenon caused huge conflict among Bads toward Beds. Among Beds, some argued Bads need punishment for previous discriminations. Hatred and grudge were expressed all around Tree-sum. Now people are cautious about openly mentioning Bad and Bed. 
 I got both Bad and Bed’s sexual organ, therefore not yet permitted to study S.A.Y. Having no score really affects me. If you want a well-paid or respected job, you need a score. I wake up at 5am just to get expired GMO products faster than other poor incompetent Bads and Beds. Getting extra bananas is much worth than having single gender and no food.
Enjoying my banana, I saw police coming at me.
 
“Is your name still not decided, 3.14?”
 
“No Rina, not yet! Not before your white skin turns dark- brown”
 
“Ha, take care of your yellow skin, before it gets as yellow as banana. Finally, you’re fitting in Tree-sum, using cutting edge jokes”
 
“Yeah, I saw teens doing this skin color joke, makes me always laugh”
 
“Me too, so funny right? Those jokes are so cute.”
 
Rina is the only police officer that talks with me. Other Bed and Bad officers ignore me.
 
“What brought you here, Rina?”
 
“Good news, you’re going to join the army. Sergeant Park is waiting for you in a van.”
 
“You mean, I have to fight in the war? That’s what only Bads’ are in charge of. Never seen a single soldier who is not Bad.  How can I?”
 
“Does that really matter? Military will pay you a lot, probably give you a place to live as a compensation of your service! Finally, you can finish this homeless life on the street!”
 
Money is definitely prior to my life. I crossed the street and jumped into a van. Park glances me for a couple of seconds and go back to adjusting his crumpled uniform. He wants to make sure his uniform and the badges on the chest are dustless and neat.
“Are you Mad?”
 
Oh! He is quite macho. He ‘got balls to’ ask about something this sensitive? Actually, feels attractive….
 
“No sergeant, I am totally holding my sanity tight and strong! We’ve just met and you call me lunatic?”
 
“No private, I am talking about your gender. Are you a Mad?”
 
“No, I can’t be Mad, I have no problem acknowledging what I can say about sex.”
 
“So…..you are not Mad……but surely doesn’t look like a Bed……”
 
Sergeant Park calls to his superior.
 
“The private that I am ordered to recruit is not Bad….No sir, I don’t know if the private is prepared for war. I’m reporting that the private is not a Bad but neither Bed nor Mad.”
 
The reply on the phone must have been short and clear.
 
“Private, there no reason you cannot join the army. I know how we are both complicated. Now everything is in order. Welcome to the army.”
 
His words really relieve me. Finally getting a job and get paid, which should have been normal like everyone else. But at the same time makes me wonder how the situation is progressed.
 
“Sometimes I don’t know why military is so complicated and stressful without guns and machineries. Military should be simple! Follow orders and protocols, get orders and do your service, learn how to combat. How come some idiots mess this simple mechanism? Isn’t it right, private?
 
I have no choice but to agree with him.
 
“Even wasting time for discussing about your recruitment is absurd. You’re not Bed nor a Mad, so no one can argue about you joining the army.”
 
“Sergeant Park, would it be a problem if I was a Mad? Education didn’t teach me so I had no idea”
 
Park laughs at me.
 
“Mad? Joining the army? You thought such nonsense would happen? Keep yourself private, out of your mind even before the combat?”
 
There are these people who looks like Bad or Bed but doesn’t live like their gender. Some of them openly deny their gender without shame. According to island’s Education, I was taught they are called Mad. Tree-sum people despise Mads and simply no one cares about them. I don’t know if Mad can even get a chance to study S.A.Y. Yet, I’m sure they won’t get a job anyways, even if they have scores. To be honest, I’m suspicious if the system would kindly score Mads.
Guess I questioned something obviously ‘wrong’.
After he laughed at my ignorance, probably feeling guilty he opens his mouth.
 
“I apologize to you, private. It was definitely rude. It is my fault. As an ‘decent’ human being, I shouldn’t have asked you if you’re a Mad.”
I didn’t expect this. I thought Park is a Bad with no shame. Yet, he is Bad enough to apologize and admit his fault. It’s not bad to have ‘Badly’ superior officer like Park in military, I guess.
“What is your name, private?”
I’m tired of answering this cliché question that the whole Tree-sum islanders are obsessed. Like always, I reply with cliché answer.
“I don’t have a name”  
For whatever reason, seems like Park is very obsessed with ‘name’. Before he loses his temper, I got to tell him anything that has to do with name.
“Well, official documents insist I’m 3.14.”
Park, with outrage, swears at me with insulting words that requires censorship (all these gender-related swear words about Beds, sexual malfunctioning really took a large portion, I think he is unconsciously saying these swear words without any context but for insult)
“Your definitely insane. How can a person be ‘untitled’? Awww…. I’ll just call you Private from this moment.”
“You mean my rank?”
“It wouldn’t matter, all the other privates are called by their names or with word ‘private’ at the front of their names. So, if I say just ‘Private’, you’ll be the only one who would answer.”
He tosses me something looks like a military ration.
“Eat it up, we’ll be in battlefield in no time, there’s no mealtime in the battle.”
Private opened the wrapper, noticed the content and put the pie on one’s hands. Private was so delighted.
“It’s Pi-time!”
The van arrived at its destination.
Private finished his pie on time……
 
 #2
  With other privates, Private got his uniforms and tools, preparing for battle. Ribbons and laces with camouflage patterns felt like every muscle and blood vessels in one’s body aroused. Cold and sharp metal parts of the gun made heartbeat fast as if there is a piston engine inside Private’s chest. Private looked around other Bad soldiers also being aroused. Private used to hate Bads’ body odors coming from their sweaty bodies. Now it didn’t matter. Private was already Bad enough to be indifferent about sweating, inside this ammoniac atmosphere.
All Bad soldiers in heat, officers emerged.
“This is not a game. We need to gain our safety and peace from those barbarians. All a lot of pain and sacrifice will follow…..But who are we! We are Bad, the breadwinners. We shall not lose, think of your children in bed! Fight for them!
Private can see fellow soldiers with eyes a bull as if they saw something red as intense as their blood. Officers calmly organized their agitated soldiers, like a civilized Bad. Private thought maybe that calmness and rationality comes from being Bad.
“Are you ready, Private?”  it was sergeant Park.
Just like Park said, Private was the only one who answered back.
“Private, as a typical Tree-sum strategy, you’ll be paired with two partners. Your mission is to report the direction and speed of any objects coming toward our base from the sky.”
While Private was listening, two partners showed up. They don’t look Bad. It seemed impossible to stay alive with those Bed-ish partners. As soon as Park was finished with his order, Private and two private partners began their mission.
Turns out the mission was quite simple. All they have to do was hiding in a bunker and report approaching rockets or planes to the headquarter. As the mission got loose and all three felt safe, they began talking to each other.
Two partners weren’t that disturbing as Private imagined. They certainly weren’t ‘normal’ Bad but still had that aggressive Badness inside them. K-Dick and Loveminecraft, Private’s partners were also privates. They all had different backgrounds, body sizes and skin colors. K-Dick and Loveminecraft had their own strong regional dialects.
“With frustrated voice, K- Dick grumbled,
“Those new-clear bums are persistent as hell. Aren’t they run out of Canons at this point? They are shooting nonstop for half a day.”
“Who are new-clear bums? Are they our enemy we are fighting against right now?” Private asked K-Dick, never heard of the name ‘new-clear bum’.
Loveminecraft, shocked and amused, cut into the conversation.
“Ha, you didn’t even know who are we fighting for? Why are you even here? Never heard of ‘new-clear bum’ while living in Tree-sum?”
“No, I didn’t know. Should I?”
“They are bums from neighboring island. We used to call them ‘bums’, but turns out some of them are civilized enough to interact with. Our target for war changed to ‘clear bums’, those who are obviously bums at first sight.”
“Then why they ‘new-clear bums’ now?”
 Loveminecraft and K-Dick both got silent. Also puzzled as Private.
“Well?.....It’s probably because some ‘clear bums’ also turned out quite cooperative and friendly toward us. So…….”
“Their name is too long. Why just come up with a new name?”
Loveminecraft and K-Dick could not say anything more than murmuring,
“They were ‘bums’ in the first place, you know……..”
Private got curious what brings these two privates, obviously recruited,into battlefield. 
“Why did you come here, risking your lives?”
Loveminecraft answered while masturbating, typical Bad behavior.
“I need more money for my own penthouse.”
“ Also here for money, I don’t want to write science fiction just for living anymore. I need tuition for finishing my biology degree at university.”
K-Dick added to Loveminecraft while also masturbating.
“Why aren’t you spending your money for your families, just like everyone else?”
It was kind of ironic how Private asked this question, who also joined military just for money.
“K-Dick and I don’t have families, we’re enough for ourselves” 
“ You and K-Dick don’t have Bed partners? What about productivity of Tree-sum? You got to have kids by contract of marriage.” 
Now as a member of Tree-sum, Private felt they are wrong and irresponsible, not contributing to their country. 
“We don’t think productivity of Tree-sum comes after reproduction. All I need is bed and myself.”
Now Private realized why these Bad creatures don't need Bed. Their sexual orientation is all into themselves. Private got worried if their madness made them vulnerable, not Bad enough for military actions.
The next day, Private woke by a loud sound of explosion. There was smoke everywhere. An air riad of New clear bums had started. The power of ‘Canon’(the missile that New clear bum use) was unspeakable. Loveminecraft and K-Dick were lying on the ground speechless. The raid of Canons lasted for a long time, felt like centuries for Private. It was took a while for Private to open both eyes after the raid ended. Soon, medics arrived and brought him to military hospital.
Private’s Bad experience in military ended with nothing but bad injuries.

#3
Few weeks in hospital was enough to recover. However, Private got huge damage in muscles, hardly able to stand. A hospital offered a job as a nurse. 
“But, nurse is for Beds……”
“That’s correct. So you cannot be a nurse right away. Now, all you can do is stay in bed.”
Beds all around, Private could not relax even while lying in the bed. Ever since being in the hospital, Private was so unstable and forgot to take off the uniform. Finally noticing this, Private took off the uniform for the first time in almost a month. A door opened and chief nurse walked in.
“Are you ready for your first day as a nurse?” 
Without a second to ask what was going on, a private who was a bad soldier, turned into a nurse who just gathered oneself from bed. 
“What is your name, son? You look like an one adorable nightingale.”
“People call me Pi, and I was a private Private. Oh most importantly, I am not Bad anymore.”
“I know you’re not Bad, no time for playing with words, you’ll be Pi-son from now on.”
All of a sudden, a new nurse Pi-son joined the hospital. Making bed was not as hard as expected.
Pi-son was not a Bed-ish person but hospital work wasn’t hard. Most of the co-workers are Beds. Turns out nurse in military hospital during wartime was no different from labor workers. There were no patients with ‘light’ injuries. Only patients with major injuries were previlaged to be treated at military hospital. There was nothing nurses can do for patients. Patients in the hospital were usually in serious conditions which only medics and doctors can manage. Nurses’ role was to refill the gauze, make patients’ beds and carry medical supplies around the hospital. While doctors were in surgeries, nurses were the ones who carried all the supplements coming to the hospital. Pi-son spent the whole day cleaning, repairing minor furnitures and gagets, carrying heavy boxes to the storage. It was physically more exhausting than the mission during the battle. Ironically, the most stressful moment of a day was when being in bed. Pi-son was not bad as a nurse but not surely not a Bed. Fellow nurses avoided Pi-son, especially when it comes to physiological matters. Pi-son could feel despising glares whenever using bathroom or shower room. Eventually Joe, a boss figure among nurses kicked Pi-son out of nurses’ residence sector. 
“There are only beds for Beds” Joe’s view was firm and solid just like her abs and forearms. Pi-son could not complain since chief nurse ordered to ‘follow whatever Joe says to you’. So without a choice, Pi-son slept in hospital room with patients, without a bed. Bad patients catcalled almost every night. Pi-son had to deal with all the sexual harrassments from patients. Just when terrible experiences at nights were about to turn Pi-son mad, Tree-sum was finished. 
Tree-sum lost the war. Lose of Tree-sum happened. Tree-sum pursued progress, possessed truly productive virtues, always stepped forward.They never expected to lose. They got no reason to lose. Sophisticated and scientific System scored its citizens, citizens were aware of their status, social productivity assured, productive society reproduced two genders called Bad and Bed. Unless they are Mad, Bad and Bed signed a contract of marriage and reproduced. History of bad Bads doing bad things to Beds was definitely present, but productivity and reproduction of present society was prioritized. Tree-sum didn’t know the meaning of ‘losing’. Tree-sum society dissolved with a speed no other countries can follow, dissolving so systematically and orderly. Citizens didn’t need time to escape. People of Tree-sum were at their seat when Tree-sum was demolished. Without few exceptions, people got killed where they stood. Luckily, Pi-son was sobbing like a typical Bed hiding at the corner of an underground storage of the hospital. Pi-son shocked by suffering experiences, decided to quit the job. The first thing Pi-son saw on the ground was dead bodies. Bloods and bones scattered around, Pi-son cannot even identify the gender of the corpses, cannot tell their names, of course. 
Pi-son wandered around an island that used to be ‘Tree-sum’. All those buildings with glass ceilings and the roads connecting them are all gone. Deep red blood covered the ground, and there were neither Bad soldiers to get aroused nor Bed nurses to stop it. Pi-son saw no signs anywhere on the island. Pi-son was lost and gave up moving, just waited. Soon, Pi-son felt moisture, the island was drowning. As water rises, Pi-son gradually layed himself down. Destiny of one’s existence to be forgotten as unnamed, disappearing to abyss. Turns out Pi-son was wrong about destiny, rescued by a boat. A person with a diving suit, who must have saved Pi-son approached. Pi-son was already aware of what comes next.

#4
“What is your score?”
It is a question I have never been asked. The problem is I have never heard of this language .  I barely understood the question. Yet, it is not difficult to answer. 
“I didn’t have a score……I had no permission to S.A.Y.”
“Then, what can you do?” 
This one is quite hard to answer…….
“I served at the military and was a nurse until Tree-sum was present.”
Other people come over to observe me, a random human being, soaked and smells like sea water. 
“What a crazy career you have….so is there anything you are good at? Any skills or talents good enough to let us join our ‘Ship’?”
I tell them what I learned from spectacle and the informations I learned from my jobs. They look satisfied. They give me a hand sign to follow them. Soon, I can recognize who these people are, they are Mads. I’m not sure but all my senses tells me they are Mads. They ask me to get into a room where a Mad who looks like a leader of somekind waiting for me. 
“Take a seat please. Oh my god! You’re all wet, you can use my towel if you need.”
The Mad who ‘should’ be a Bad says to me while doing makeup. Soon finished with makeup, the Mad examines me. It is my first time that someone is putting eye on me for this long. After a short silence, The Mad starts talking. Just like a moment ago, it is quite hard to fully understand what this Mad is saying. Still, the language these Mads are speaking is not so different from Tree-sum language. In short, Mads wanted me to be a supervisor being in charge of ‘No-Mads’. They highly evaluated my knowledge and experience of being both Bad and Bed. The Mad language sounds so cute. I cannot understand what they are saying,  but it doesn’t matter. Their tone, their accent, the pronounciation entertain my ears. I accepted their offer, half-unconsciously, losing my attention by Mads’ beautiful voices.
It took me a while to adjust to this new environment of the ‘Ship’. After building fellowship with Mads and cooperating with them, I could hear what happened when Tree-sum collapsed. From several years ago, Mads( now I see each one of them has different ‘gender’ , so I just go by calling them ‘Ya’ or ‘Dongmu’) planned to leave Tree-sum. They decided to make a huge ship, which I am riding right now, and sail around oceans, having a life that continues moving island by island. Even now, I think it was a crazy idea. I’ve never learned or heard such thing is possible, it was unimaginable. No one really noticed Mads’ plan, busy being productive and being Bad or Bed. Totally excluded from Tree-sum society, Mads created  the ‘Ship’ a new home, safe and wide enough to hold their ‘Madness’. At the last day of Tree-sum, Mads who had no jobs and belongings, thanks to not get scored, ran to the ‘Ship’ without any hesitance. Luckily, some Beds and Bads were managed to get into the ‘Ship’. Not really aware of Tree-sum culture as much as Beds and Bads were indifferent about Mads, Mads now a majority had no idea how to treat all these gendered humans. That was the reason why I got a position with authority as soon as I got into the ‘Ship’. At the very beginning of life in ‘Ship’, shaking atmosphere of the ship caused me nausea. It took me a while to throw up everything I had. I started to feel comfort when my instinct told me I have nothing inside to throw away anymore. 
Managing No-Mads is still not so easy. Reproduction control is managable but designing efficient labor structure using no-mads is still in progress. My personal opinion is their identity keeps causing malfunction. I keep telling them how it is all illusions. But, I don’t blame them. Who would have guessed I would have a nomadic life, so dramatically. I see sun rising up, it’s time to start my day with my favorite song. 
(Together) We will go our way
(Together) We will leave someday
.(Together) Your hand in my hands.
(Together) We will make our plans
(Together) We will fly so high
(Together) Tell all our friends goodbye
(Together) We will start life new
(Together) This is what we'll do
(Go West) Life is peaceful there
(Go West) In the open air
(Go West) Where the skies are blue
(Go West) This is what we're gonna do
(Go West, This is what we're gonna do)

#創作大賞2023 #ファンタジー小説部門#gender#ジェンダー＃セクシュアリティ

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