230331 standing dead rowing・穏やかで在ること

standing dead rowing 16kg
14:56、最高51回

穏やか
って言葉が大好きで
憧れにも似た
強い魅力を感じます(･ᴗ･)

何ででしょうね
目まぐるしく無さそうなのも
忙しなく無い印象も
「穏やか」は
有して居る様に感じて
そういう環境が
自分には
魅力的なんだろうなぁ

慌ただしく誰かの
欲求を満たす日々は
それ自体が目まぐるしく
心が落ち着かないのかも
でも
奉仕こそが「お仕事」
と教わって育ったから
なかなか長年の
クセと云うか性と云うモノは
抜けないですよね…

満たして貰う側に
なる事も有るじゃないですか
その時には本当に
穏やかな時間を
提供して貰えていて
満足してるんです

あの時間を
あの空間を
あの質感を
普段から身の回りに
まとって居たいなァ
そんな風に想うんです

だから一層
穏やか
ってフレーズには
強く惹かれるのだ
とも感じます

230331 standing dead rowing/being calm

standing dead rowing 16kg
14:56, max 51 times

I love the word "calm".
I love the word "calm" and feel a strong attraction to it, almost like longing.
I wonder why.

It doesn't seem to be fast-paced.
It gives the impression of not being busy.
I feel that they have "serenity" in them.
I guess that kind of environment is attractive to me.

The days of hurriedly fulfilling someone else's needs
That in itself may be too fast-paced
Maybe it's hard for me to relax.

But I was taught that service is work.
I was raised to believe that service is work.
I've been taught that it's my job to serve.
It's hard to get rid of habits, or sexuality...

Sometimes you're on the receiving end.
And when I do, I'm really satisfied with the peace and tranquility that I'm offered.
That time, that space, that texture...
I wish I could have that time, that space, and that texture around me on a daily basis.
That's how I feel.

That's why
I feel that's why I'm so attracted to the phrase "calm".

by DeepL