Envisioning the 10-story building of my dream

Author： Haru

Shin-chan wants to be a bookseller

A conversation with my son one day.
“ I want to become a bookseller”
My four-year-old son muttered at the dining table. 

Since we don't have to worry about the next day on Saturdays, I don’t have to rush my son through dinner so we can relax and enjoy each other's conversation. 

“That’s perfect because you like picture books. What a wonderful dream.”
“But I want to have toys too. So it's a fun place for babies! And there are ten floors!”
“Ten floors!? Now I am curious... Tell me more about it!”

We ended up hurrying through dinner as per usual, and we drew out my son’s dream book store on a piece of drawing paper. 

Shin-chan (age 4)'s dream 10-story bookstore

Roof: Observatory
10F: Books and toys about astronomy and space. 
9F: Cafe
8F: Children’s clothing store
7F: Hotel (10 rooms) and Hot Springs
6F: Books and toys for babies
5F: Books and toys about automobiles
4F: Books and toys about insects
3F: Books and toys about fish, sea animals & an aquarium 
2F: Books and toys about Dinosaurs 
1F: Entrance, garden, and flower shop

 The bookstore has an entrance and a garden on the first floor. Each floor has its own theme. The 2nd to 5th floors have books, illustrated books about dinosaurs, insects, fish, vehicles, and toys all of which my son loves.

The 6th floor has picture books and toys for babies and is said to be enjoyable for those with babies.

“But that's not all."
My son said with a twinkle in his eye.
“The seventh floor is a hotel!”

I thought to myself, "This can't be called a bookstore..." But it seems that the store's selling point is that "you can be surrounded by your favorite things without worrying about time. If you don't want to leave, you can stay for the night.” If so, I asked him to build a hot spring. Why don't we make it a place where even adults could enjoy themselves.

The 8th floor is a children's clothing store (where you can buy a change of clothes if you suddenly have to stay at the hotel), and the 9th floor is a café with a variety of delicious menus.

“The rooftop is where you can watch the stars!”
The two of us consulted together and decided to have books and toys related to space and astronomy on the 10th floor to make the rooftop observatory more enjoyable.

The lower floor is a regular bookstore, albeit with a specific theme for each floor. Some customers may be satisfied and leave there. However, customers who want to explore more can go up the stairs and have a meal, stay for the night or learn something new.

 Insights from my son's ideas

As I drew out my son's idea, I realized that this 10-story bookstore might be like what self-care is for me.

When I first became a single parent during my maternity leave, I wanted to meet other people in the same situation, so I researched and attended meetings for single mothers. I found emotional support in telling people about the unfortunate events that had happened to me and having them empathize with me and reminding myself that I was not the only one who was having a hard time.

When I returned to work after a long absence, I found that my peers and junior staff were working so successfully that they no longer seemed to be the same person. The operations I was in charge of had been improved, and efficiency had increased dramatically. In addition, my son, who had been a baby, was able to do more things at daycare before I knew, and I was amazed at his growth every time.

I felt as if I was the only one left behind and not moving forward.

I felt like I had not taken a single step forward since the day I became a single parent.

Days went by even while I was feeling left behind, and that was when COVID-19 started to spread. Soon after, the day-care center closed for about two months, and I had to apologize to my boss and coworkers every day for causing them more trouble than usual. 

In the midst of all this, I received an invitation to the Single Mothers Sisterhood's self-care course through a single parent support group newsletter I had subscribed to.

Single mothers from around the country gathered online to exercize and have a conversation. I have often seen "talk sessions" where single parents exchange opinions with each other, but this was the first time for me to participate in a program where we could move our bodies together, and it was very refreshing.

The physical exercise warmed my whole body and relaxed my mind, and I naturally felt more positive. Strangely, the conversations after exercising had also become very positive as well.

My stage has changed

Since then, I began to actively participate in lectures on money literacy and other subjects that benefit single mothers, and I came to a realization that learning was a guidepost to leading a comfortable life. I had also noticed that I no longer needed others to comfort me for what had happened in the past. 

Maintaining a healthy body and mind. Learning new things. Seeing myself in a positive light. Before I knew it, these things had become my emotional support.

Now, I am no longer satisfied with taking care of only myself, but as a staff member of the Single Mothers Sisterhood campaign, I  want to spread the knowledge of self-care to as many single mothers as possible.

The Circle Created by Self-Care

When people learn to recognize themselves positively through self-care, the way they look at others around them also becomes very positive. After this positive experience, they will be able to believe that everyone can create this positive cycle themselves.

That is why I would like to see this circle spread more widely to single parents who are working hard, despite their incredibly busy schedules and many responsibilities. Taking on a new challenge is always a little daunting, but there are people who will be there for you along the way.

I want to see the real sky with everyone on the rooftop, not just reading a book by myself. I want to find new stars together !

Contributing to this group is MY self-care.

My dream of a 10-story building 

I looked at the dream bookstore I had drawn up on a piece of drawing paper and said, 
"Shin-chan, you can do anything in your life. Maybe you can really build a bookstore like this!”
My son replied, 
"You too, mom! Let's build it together!”

As if I was walking up a flight of stairs, I was carefully building up the self-care I was seeking, one at a time. If I am too exhausted to stay positive, I can go downstairs and take a break. The more floors there are, the more likely you are to find a way to pick yourself up.

If I work hard to reach the upper floors, even little by little, I am sure that one day I will be able to build my own dream 10-story building.

A bookstore overflowing with things I love and a self-care store overflowing with things that make me feel positive. It would be wonderful to not only watch over my son's dreams but to build the 10-story building of my own dreams together with my son.

My son, who has grown to be such a unique nice boy, has given me a push to make me look forward to our future that we can create in any way.

Thank you for reading the essay. This essay was written by a single mother Haru to promote Mother's Day Campaign 2022. 
The act of writing an essay and sublimating it into a piece of art with two compassionate proofreaders has a healing effect on single mothers, helping them to make positive sense of their past and regain their confidence through this journey. If you believe in the importance of self-care and support our program that provides opportunities for single mothers to regain their strength, we hope you will support our crowdfunding efforts as well! Here is the link.

Single Mothers' Sisterhood

This essay is about Haru and her son's dream 10 story building. This story is not only heartwarming, but also allows you to reflect on yourself and imagine what your 10-story building would be like. https://t.co/1BcJjt5CTq pic.twitter.com/26hXLIJUFt

— NPO法人シングルマザーズシスターフッドMother's Dayキャンペーン実施中 (@sisterhood2020) June 11, 2022