Floral Dreams：by Angela Barker Thomas

もうかれこれ２０年近く前、生まれて初めて、まだ会ったことのない詩人(友人のお姉さん)から贈られた詩です。この詩を生んだ背景は遠い昔の出来事として私の中では既に完結しています・・・でも、詩人の才能は、私だけの詩として埋もれさせてはいけないと氣がついた・・・ので投稿します・・・蝶はどこに飛んでいくのか・・・受けとる準備のできている人のところに・・・飛んでいってくれますように・・・

詩人ではない私が日本語に訳すと、せっかくの詩が台無しになってしまう氣がしますので、そのまま原文で投稿します。

“If you love something, set it free; 

if it comes back to you, it is yours; 

if it doesn’t, it never was.”

So speaks the wisdom of some other breaking heart,

a heart that must have known in seasons past

a thorned love such as this.

But oh, my Beloved, I was yours, in the only way I knew to be.

I was yours so completely that when I finally awoke,

I had to share with you the fragrance of my flowered dream,

regardless of the spines it would surely press into your trusting heart,

for our union held no secrets;

always, you were my best friend; always, my confidant;

always, my truest love.

But you knew all along,

And overlooked.

And forgave.

And prayed each day as I arose,

that I would not remember the dream

or yearn for the fragrance of flowers.

My innocence was enough for you,

Your tangled love grew ‘round me, vines without blossoms,

cherishing me so tenderly that in my daylight hours 

I was deaf to whispers of the floral spirits around me.

But one night came the dream so vivid and so real

that I awakened, and found my soul longing

for the scent of the bouquet,

craving the soft feel of petals.

You acknowledged my revelation

and sadly, unselfishly,

untwined the ivy that bound our souls together,

withdrew your masculine leaves that had sheltered me

from harsh sun and cold rain since my maiden years.

Always, your unfaltering understanding,

your wish for me to realize my heart’s desires...

I transcend my familiar existence,

burn with a novel passion that draws me to another.

Even these emotions, my Beloved,

my exuberant heart wants to share with you,

you who always applauded my joys.

How I wish I could have loved you

with the intensity your gentle being deserves!

How you treasured the honesty of my love for you,

 accepted me in my larva stage,

nurtured me in my cocoon...

And you loved me steadily, predictably.

And said the sleeping half of me was enough.

And upon seeing my waking half,

clinging to the dream remembered,

you gently nudged me toward the floral fields. 

I am a butterfly, guivering,

flying off in search of colorful blossoms,

guided by their perfume 

wafting illusive and promising on the fickle breeze.

At last, I pursue dreams that you knew all along

lay stirring under the surface of my dull sleep.

My infant legs are strengthening by tiny bits of balk

gleaned from your stalwart vines,

bark torn from your husk,

where you peeled yourself from me

as you, in ultimate love,

loosened me to freedom.

By Angela Barker Thomas, 

for Rumi, 

December 15, 2001

Rumi,  My sister shared your story with me. It touch me so much, I thought all night of you...The next morning I wrote this poem for you...Peace on your journey. Angela

人生の大きな転機に直面していた私を、優しく受けとめてくれた姉妹に感謝しています。彼女達がいたからこそ乗り越えられた「節目」だったと今になって改めて思います。ありがとう！

今年は「お福わけの年」と題して新年の抱負をいくつか投稿していますが、沢山の人の思いやり(お福わけ)に助けられてきた恩を、この詩を創作した詩人Angelaの純粋な心とその才能をめで、この詩を必要としている誰かに、つないでいくために投稿します。

追記：蝶の写真は今年９３歳になる父が、数年前に自宅の庭で撮影したものです。写真を撮っている時の少年のような父の姿が好きです。