"元"プロゲーマーになりました (英語) / I've become an "ex-"pro gamer

(前書き: これはこのNORIのnoteの英語翻訳です。)

It's been a long time since I wrote a note, and I'm a bit excited.

This isn’t going to be a coherent note, but after the draft, my feelings have changed quite a bit more than I had expected, and since clarity is vital in such matters, I thought I’d write a note while it's still fresh in my mind.

Please forgive me for the lack of coherence.

Introducing myself and BPL

My name is NORI (Twitter: @norimisoIIDX).
I guess some of you may be new to me, so let me introduce myself.

I’ve been a pro gamer of Konami's music game beatmania IIDX for the past 3 years, BPL ZERO, BPL 2021, and BPL S2 (Season 2).

I thought I’d do my best again this year as BPL S3 (Season 3) was about to start, but I was not selected at the draft, so I became a “ex-" pro gamer.

To those of you who have supported me so much, I apologize for not meeting your expectations. But thank you very much!

BPL stands for BEMANI PRO LEAGUE, a professional league in which eight arcade chains have teams and compete in league matches in beatmania IIDX, SOUND VOLTEX, and Dance Dance Revolution.

Right now (2023/05/15), BPL S2's DDR league is being broadcast on YouTube to rave reviews, and BPL S3's IIDX just finished its draft to decide who will be on which team.

Even if you don't play music games, please take 5 minutes to watch a video of matches on YouTube.

I hope you'll find something you enjoy, something like “I'm not quite sure, but it looks like the game was decided by a close margin!” or “I like this song that they're playing!" or “I like this person's face!”

By the way, if you look up “BPL IIDX Tradz” on YouTube, you’ll find times where I play and roll around on the floor, if you want to check it out.

2023/05/13 Draft

The following video shows the draft I was applying for.

“Why did you apply?” “Why did you fail?” “Did you have a prior meeting with Tradz (the team I was part of for BPL S2)?” “What about renewing the contract?” I'm sure many of you are wondering about the details, but I'm afraid I can't talk about some things yet, so please forgive me if I'm a bit vague. 🙇

Now, the reason for failing is clear: I'm simply not good enough at IIDX.

If we delve a little deeper into ability, for example, I don't have the ability to do ☆11 or ☆12 rekidai songs, which is generally expected of 1st and 2nd round players, so I’d be aiming to be nominated as a 4th round player whose main forte is generally around ☆8-10. In that case, the ability to play one-off songs like a 4th-round player is still not enough.

To take part in BPL, it’s especially important to be able to perform close to one's best on the first try. I think I’m not that bad at it, but nothing to write home about.

I believe that this lack of ability has been true ever since the very first BPL ZERO tournament. I wasn’t nominated for ZERO, I was allowed to play as a backup for various reasons, and I’m ashamed to say that I’ve hardly won any tournaments.

I think that the fact that I was nominated for 2021 and S2 was due, in part, to my ability to play difficult songs, but also because of my ability to provide analysis, which was an important aspect of being a professional player. My self-critique is that, although I lacked ability, my presence made team activities a little more useful.

I always knew that I was going to get better, and I’d been practicing for a long time, but I had the feeling that while I was getting 10x better, the people around me were getting 15x better.

So I knew it was going to be tough, but the result of the draft from my point of view was that it turned out just as I had expected. It’s true that it wasn’t in my favor, but it’s still frustrating.

Meeting the Tradz team

Well, if you’d think there was no point in entering the draft if I already admitted that I wasn’t good enough, then you’re exactly right.

However, the team I was a member of last year, TAITO STATION Tradz, was a truly amazing team.

I’m no longer a member of Tradz, so I don't think it’d be correct to say that I’m personally involved with the team now, but even if I did, I'd say that the promotion, or rather the will and determination as an e-Sports team was very different compared to other teams, even though it’s a bit self-flattering at the same time, but I think that’s my personal opinion.

I think Tradz has given me a tremendous amount of support and promotion.

Everyone, have you ever thought about the idea of a crepe themed around you being sold nationwide, or that if you eat the crepe, there’s a chance you'll get a Carddass of yourself, and that Carddass with your face and profile printed on it will be out there in the world in bundles of 1000 cards, or something like that? I didn’t. There's no way that would ever happen.

There were a lot of other things that happened, too many to mention, and of course I really wanted to be a part of the Tradz team again.

I also thought that even if I didn't get selected, if there was even a 1% chance that an unexpected event or a turn of events would occur in the draft, and the BPL S3 IIDX Tradz team would become stronger by picking me, then I'd have wanted to do so. I also felt that I had to experience and accept the fact that I wouldn't be selected in the draft, rather than giving up without applying myself.

I still love Tradz, I want them to win DDR after SDVX, I want them to win IIDX, I really do, from the bottom of my heart. I think Tradz is strong. I'm rooting heavily for them. Thank you very much for organizing the farewell party.

A change of heart after the draft

I knew in my head that it was going to be a tough year, and I thought even before the draft started that I'd retire as a professional player, but after it was actually over, as I changed my Twitter profile, I realized that my feelings had changed more than I had expected.

I really have a lot of mixed emotions, so I'll try to list them out.

• Ah, it’s depressing(?) not being a professional gamer anymore

  • I realized that I may have made it a pretty big part of my identity to be a professional gamer on the side.

• I knew it was frustrating!

• I had mixed feelings when I saw tweets from people who have become and continue to be professional players.

• I had mixed feelings of relief that I don't have to work so hard on Twitter, social media, and other team marketing activities anymore.

• However, I worry about YouTube and what to do with it.

• I think I'll aim for next year (if there is one), but I'm not sure if I'll be able to continue to be motivated.

• My apologies to the fans who supported me.

• I'm going to change jobs, and I'm going to do my best in my day job and personal life.

• Tradz, I'll be cheering for you!

• At the same time, the players of the other teams with whom I had a close relationship were all wishing me the best of luck.

• Wondering how much to expect (in my mind) continuing to associate with BPL.

• Thanks to Ryu☆ for choosing me at ZERO, to SILK HAT for setting the course for a pro gamer named NORI at 2021, and to Tradz for a tremendous experience!

• Various feelings that I can't write about here.

I am sure there are probably other feelings that I have yet to verbalize, but this is how I feel at this point.

As for feeling lost, troubled, and anxious, well, only about 2 days have passed since the end of my 2.5 years or so of my pro gaming life, so I guess I'll just have to take some time to digest this. 

What to do now?

Actually, I’m thankful to have received various offers from numerous sources, but I have very mixed feelings about what to do, as mentioned above, so I’d appreciate it if you could give me some time to think about it.

For the time being, nothing is really set in stone. For now, I'm thinking I'll be the person who goes to EXBAR every Wednesday and makes a lot of noise watching DDR BPL... I can’t wait for IIDX to start too….

Regarding social media, I think Twitter (@norimisoiidx) will be like a bot for posting Tradz-related BPL information. I wonder if the frequency of updates will decrease...I don't know.

YouTube...I don't know what to do. I think I'll probably put up some strategy videos or something like that when niche songs like Zaika come out again.

I think it’ll be harder to stream IIDX, so I wonder if I’ll stream UNDERTALE or something like that again. I have to have another go.

Thankfully, there are people who’ve subscribed to my membership, so now I'm hoping to give back to them.

I think it would be nice to have some kind of career path for a second career, since not all pro gamers (especially in music games) should be able to stay pro gamers forever.

However, I don't know what kind of second careers pro gamers have (I guess there are streamers in general, but...), so I'd like to look into that as well.

I’m in a bit of an emotional mess, thinking, “Well, I should just be playing music games without thinking about a second career, but I mean…”

Conclusion

Once again, I would like to thank everyone who has supported me so far! 🙏🙏🙏

The only reason I was able to hang on as a pro gamer, even though my skills are a little lacking, is because of everyone who reads this, supports me by name on Twitter, draws fan art, gives me food when we meet, comes to team events far away from here, and supports me in many other ways. I can only thank everyone who has supported me in various ways.

Now that I’m no longer a pro, I have to think about how I can repay those people in the future, but I still don't feel like I've repaid all the favors I have received, so I hope I can repay them in some way.

At the same time, as I mentioned before, I'm truly grateful to everyone who welcomed me to the team, worked with me, and supported me through BPL ZERO, BPL 2021, and BPL S2. Thanks to you, I've had many experiences that I couldn't have imagined for myself 5 years ago. Thank you so much.

Of course, I’m really grateful to Konami for hosting BPL. Thank you very much for your assistance.

I think I'll lay low for a bit, a little more distant from BPL than I am now.
But if there is something I can help with, not just BPL, and I feel I should be allowed to do it, I hope I'll be able to try do it again.

For the time being, I can't get EXH after the embargo on Beyond Evolution was lifted, and I’m laughing because I can't even get AAA-, let alone AAA, so I'm thinking about it and trying to play IIDX, DDR to lose weight, aim for VF 19, Gitadora, dabble with Sega games, and other music games as I please.

Sorry if it's hard to read, I wrote it in a spur of the moment. 🙇

Anyways, I had a great time as a pro gamer! Thank you very much!