My Northern Star (from the novel "Light in the darkness")
This is chapter 6 of my book "Light in the darkness", a Christian novel. It's a preaching scene by our main character, Izumi Maki.
I always love it when Maki talks about forsaking ancestral duty, being rejected by family yet following Jesus. We, Japanese, often have family ties that prevent us from following the exact word of God. So it encourages me to see Maki boldly taking up his cross to follow Jesus, though he is a master of a feudalistic old family.
I translated this roughly a few months ago, to get advice from the pastor. He gave me a good comment and I fixed a bit to release it here. The scene takes place at Maki's historical mansion, where he holds a home church.
When the worship ended, it was Maki who came up to the front. He was a tall, good-looking middle-aged gentleman but looked awkward standing in the front. He looked around the slightly more populated than the usual congregation. Then he shut his thin eyelid and seemed like he was praying for a second. When he opened his eyes, he looked calmer.
Maki opened his mouth and made a joke of himself being nervous, and introduced his wife’s family that are attending church today. With a sarcastic joke that his in-laws are closer in age to him than he is to his wife. As he spoke, his nervousness seemed to erase. Maki mentioned the Bible verse and read, bowed down and prayed, and started preaching.
“The other day my wife and I went to modern art exhibitions that were held in town. My wife and I are both old-fashioned people and don’t know much about modern art. But there was one art that drew my eye. It was expressing the world before LET THERE BE LIGHT. The artist says he thinks art is a way of questioning Where Do We Come From? What Are We? Where Are We Going? That was a language Christian like I could understand.
(Note : Where Do We Come From? What Are We? Where Are We Going? Is a famous painting by Paul Gauguin.)
I often think about the word "Absolute". It feels essential when I think of modern-day Japanese people’s life. What is absolute? Something that will never be shaken, something that will never extinguish, something that could be the standard to judge everything else. Is there something like that in the world?
I often hear the expression, "That man has an absolute core in himself." Could there be such a thing in human beings? A core that will never shake? If I will pursue who I am to the end, I feel like what comes out will only be ugly. That may be because I am ordinary, but could a man find something absolute in himself? In his flesh, in his carnal soul? Man dies. They don’t even know where they come from, who they are and where they are going.
I have never lived in a city. In America, in Japan, I always lived under clear starlight. Stars in heaven move with time and season. But only the North star stays the same. In that way, the North star is the only absolute star among the relative stars. (North star is not in the true north and it changes with time though) In old days in the southern states of America, the fugitive slaves run to the north with this star as their guide. North star tells us the way.
I have the North star. An absolute point that will never be shaken. Jesus Christ is the man. Jesus is my core and my absolute. When everything else is shaken, Jesus is there always standing.
The economy is down, and the politic is corrupted. My flesh is getting older every day, and human hearts are the frailest thing. Fame is unsure, and if I try to educate myself by reading many books the end is empty. I may encounter arson or stabbing anytime. I live on top of the Itoigawa-Shizuoka tectonic line so I cannot escape from the earthquake. Is there anything sure in this world? That may be why people say, there is no absolute.
Maybe the word absolute is difficult. Let's say something you can believe in. Something worth believing. Sure foundation. Life without faith, life without absolute is like a ship without an anchor. Shaken by every wave, and wind and never settled. No compass, no north star to tell them where they are. That may be how the people in this world live. I cannot boast of myself. That was who I am before I met Christ.
It is not easy to live the life anchored by Christ among the floating boats. It stands out, not only does it stand out but we sometimes get persecuted. You all may know my situation by now, but all of it stems from me making Christ my absolute.
If you wanna easy life, go and float without an anchor. I cannot assure you of the destination. You might think I'm a fool for being hated for Christ’s sake. And I may be a fool. But I want to follow God that will never be shaken even if the world thinks I am a fool. This world hated Jesus, so I being Christ’s, will be hated no wonder.
The other day I had to go to our clan’s temple for some Buddhist ritual, which had to do with my rejection of ancestral worship. I didn’t take my wife with me, I went by myself. Something is easier to bear alone. I don’t want to replay what was said to me there. I don’t want to hurt my wife. The word God gave me there was "If they hit your right cheek, give them your left."
But I rejoiced while being condemned by my relatives. There was joy that was welling up in me. When you are persecuted for Christ, rejoice, I say again rejoice, says the bible. For the kingdom of heaven is yours. Yes, I am not living in this world. I am living God’s kingdom by His holy spirit, so I will not be understood by the people of this kingdom. To my relatives in the feudalistic world, I rightfully deserve the persecution.
If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.
Here is the answer to Gauguin’s question. We come from God, we are of God and we go back to God. This is just a temporary dwelling place. We who have Christ in our hearts can proudly declare it. But that did not come from Catechism. For I was raised in a Buddhist family. It rather grew in me like a plant. When something is......."
Discreetly, Akari stood up and left the room. She couldn't hear it any longer. It wasn't the preaching. Some of it felt like direct irony toward her but she didn't realize Maki could preach like this. No, it was about the time the gallery will open.
She walked the long hallway and when she came down to the entrance, Yae was standing by the door in her summer kimono. Her husband was still preaching in the back.
"It's time for you to go, right?"
"Sorry."
"I'll take you by car"
Yae opened the chest and took the key. As Akari opened the sliding door, a strip of sunshine cast the light over many colorful shoes on the floor. Two of them walked into the light, the voice of preaching was still echoing outside.
↓The 11th chapter is also translated into English. If you are interested, follow the link below.
↓This is the link to the page that has available posts in English.
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