March 2. 2023: My Nature, Depressed (1)（ボクの性格、落ち込む (1)）

I have a complicated and mysterious nature. I am not good at sorting out my mind. I have tried to alter the character for so long, but have failed. So I have lately given up the ghost.
The other day, I had trouble with a person. It was the most unpleasant one this year. I have always tried to avoid trouble as much as possible, but there is no way to spend my life without it. Trouble always makes me feel unpleasant. But I have another thing that is more unpleasant than the trouble itself. In other words, it takes me a long time to get rid of the unpleasant feeling I have with the trouble. When I have a very bad problem, I get deeply depressed and the mood is always in my mind. It is always flickering in my mind like a candle. So I have trouble falling asleep, and it comes out as soon as I wake up. I have to bear it for many days. I need at least three days to heal it a little. But it takes me about a week to get rid of it completely.

　ボクの性格は複雑怪奇です。気持ちの整理がへたなのです。この性格を何とかしたいのですが、なす術がなく、最近はあきらめ気味です。
　先日、嫌なことがありました。今年に入って一番不愉快なことでした。不愉快なことに出くわすのも嫌なのですが、それよりやっかいなのは、この不愉快な気分を払拭するのに時間がかかることです。ひどく不愉快なことがあると、そのことが四六時中頭から離れません。意識しなくても、そのことがろうそくの火のようボクの頭の中でゆらゆらと揺れ続けます。寝付きも悪くなり、目が覚めるとこのことが最初に頭に浮かびます。この状態が何日も続きます。発生から3日くらいすると少し癒えますが、完全に払拭するには平均するつ1週間くらいかかります。