"Narrisists" themselves are just perfect illusion.

We often say, "To get something, you have to give something."

But, Narrisists, they only give to get and "THAT is NOT a real giving."

It is a manipulation tactic, and that you believe in their gifts shows how it works. It is part of the bonding they use, and which leads into the traumabonding their victims experiences.

Cause one of the greatest wounds in this relationships results from the "cognitive dissonance" in his victims: he was so good to me, gave me gifts, attention in the beginning.
What made him change? He acts like monster.
Is there any possibility i can change him?
Nope.Never.
"It was all lies."
"He" was a perfect illusion.
They just need target to feed their own stupid fragile ego.
Your whole body is sore.
Cause they makes you a lot of labor and that's not act of love.
If you can't cut them off for personal reasons, understandable.
Just Run, Girl as much as you can.
No matter what Nar says to you.
You don't need to hear.
That's all bullshit lies.
You don't need permission to ask what you wear, buy, eat.
You can get power, inner strength back to decide decisions of yourself.
Don't hard on yourself.
Self awareness and self care are really important.
I used to think "Yea, ik.ik."I was sick of hearing the same stuff…I didn't understand back in the day.

But now I really *uckin know why those are matters.
Many victims in Narrisistic abusive relationship with dominant, controlling men, we also grew up in a abusive household, family.
This is pretty common and I'm one of them.
We need to stop this bad cycle.

*tactic　術、わざ
*manipulation 洗脳
*bombing 心の触れあい。

*trouma bonding トラウマボンド
とは、虐待という公平ではない関係の中で、被害者が加害者との関係を維持し続ける現象。トラウマボンドは、虐待や心的外傷によって生じます。これは、洗脳だけではなく、恐怖や経済状況、支援を求めても得られず、バッドサイクルに陥ってる人達が非常に多く、早く離れろ。別れればいい。と言うのは、同じ状況下にいないから、口でなら何とでも言える事である。
責められるべきは、いつも被害者であり、好き好んで、皆がいる訳でもない。経済状況以外にも、元々、非遇な環境に産み落とされた人達が、絶縁し、賃貸で住む上で、緊急連絡先に行き詰まり、元dv交際相手がなっているというケースは、人生で何度も見聞きしてきた。メディアが取り上げない、NPOの貧困ビジネスも見てきた。

個人的意見、社会システムは、腐りきっていて、殆どの被害者は、知恵や知識はあり、行動力を起こしても、結果に結びつかないまま、搾取されているケースが多い事を知って欲しい。これは、日本だけではないが、日本ほど、こういう事を、メディアではなく、一般市民がお互いに口にしない、というのは、私には不可思議である。

* cognitive dissonance　認知的不協和
認知的不協和(cognitive dissonance)とは、社会心理学における概念の一つで、矛盾する認知を同時に抱えた状態、又、その際に覚える不快感やストレスのことを指す。