【英検ライティング#8#9】親は子どもに家事を割り当てるべきか【賛成】【反対】

【写真について】
　トロントでは、駅の中でも道でも、毎日のようにストリートミュージシャンがに会いました。しかも、老若男女問わず演奏したり歌ったりしているんです。楽器もギターだけじゃなくて、サックスとか、アコーディオンとか、
色々ありました。生の音楽が生活の近くにあるんだなと感じました。
　ストリートミュージシャンのイメージが「若者」だと思ってた私には
驚きであり！！！嬉しくもありました。
　
　時は12月のエグリントン駅。私がカナダに来た目的である、姿勢法の練習に行こうと、こちらの駅に降り立った際、オジサマたちに出会いました。
　演奏が気に入ってしばらく聞いていたら、話しかけてくれて、「あなたのために一曲弾くよ！」と言ってくれて、録画もOKしてくれました。(youtubeにアップしました。)
そして、私もスーツケースにお金をいくらか入れたのでした。

　本日は、「親は子どもに家事を割り当てるべきか」がテーマ。
【賛成】【反対】両方書きました。

◎TOPIC
Agree or disagree:
Parents should give children regular household chores to do

【賛成の立場】I wrote it from the AGREE side.

◎POINTS
・responsibility
・fairness

4【先生添削後】

【a final copy 】
　　Some parents are not keen to give children regular household chores. They emphasize time to study for children. However, I believe that children's participation in household work is very important.
　　Firstly, children need to learn responsibility. You cannot only think about yourself when you live with your family. Through managing regular household work, children can learn to care about their families and the surroundings of their homes. This experience can help children to get along with coworkers or partners in the future.
　　Secondly, from the viewpoint of fairness, all family members should share domestic work. In modern society, in most cases, everyone in a family has duties outside of the home. If domestic chores are shared with all members, everyone could have their own time to enrich their lives.
　　For these reasons, I believe giving children regular housework is good not only for children but also for the whole family.

3【清書+Grammary添削後】

　　Some parents are not keen to give children regurar household chores. They emphasize time to study for children. However, I belive participation to household work in childhood is very important.
　　First, children need to learn responsibility. You cannot only think about yourself when you live with family. Through managing regular household work, children can learn to care about family member's need and the surroundings of their home. This experience would help children to get along with coworkers or partners in the future.
　　Second, from the viewpoint of fairness, all family member should share domestic work. In the modern society, in most case everyone in a family has duties outside of home. If domestic chores are shared to all member, everyone could have their own time to enrich their lives.
　　For these reasons, I believe giving children regular house work is good not only for children but also for all family members.

2【1のGrammary添削後】

【a rough draft after the Grammarly check】
　　　　I think parents should give children regular household chores.
I have 2 reasons to explain my idea.
 　　First, children need to learn responsibility. You cannot only think about yourself when you live with your family. Through managing regular household work, children would learn to care about another family member's needs and the surroundings of their home.
　　 Second, from the viewpoint of fairness, all family members should share domestic work. In this modern society, in most cases, everyone in a family has duties outside of the home. If domestic chores are shared with all members, everyone could have their own time to enrich their lives.
　　 For these reasons, I believe giving children regular housework is good not only for children but also for all family members.

1【添削前】

【a rough draft 】
　　I think parents should give children regular household chores.
I have 2 reasons to explain my idea.
　　First, children need to learn responsibility. You cannot only think about yourself when you live with family. Through managing regular household work, children would learn to care about family member's need and the surroundings of their home.
　　Second, from the viewpoint of fairness, all family member should share domestic work. In the modern society, in most case everyone in a family has duties outside of home. If domestic chores are shared to all member, everyone could have their own time to enrich their lives.
　　For these reasons, I believe giving children regular house work is good not only for children but also for all family members.

ーーー
【反対の立場】I wrote it from the disagree side.

◎POINTS
・Time for study
・Stress

4【先生添削後】

　　Though some people say test scores are not everything, I think children should put their energy into studying rather than doing chores.
※test scoreは様々あるから複数形にする。
※家事をするよりもの一文を入れることでお題との整合性が取れる。

　　First of all, studying is a children's top priority. If they don't focus on learning when they are students, it could influence their future. Education background is still important in the 21st century.
※In the first placeはどちらかというと場所を表す時に使う。ここでは、
First of allの方が適切

　　Second, competition among students is very fierce. They get stressed all the time. I think it's more important to give them some relaxation time rather than giving them regular chores.
※rather than +  ing

　　For these reasons, I think parents should not give children household work. The best thing that parents can do is to give children an environment to study.

3【清書+Grammary添削後】

　　Though some people say test score is not everything, I think children should put their energy into studying for some reason.
　　In the first place, the study is a children's top priority. If they don't focus on learning when they are students, it could influence their future. Education background is still important in the 21st century.
　　Second, competition among students is very fierce. They get stressed all the time. I think it's more important to give them some relaxation time rather than give them regular chores.
 　　For these reasons, I think parents should not give children household work. The best thing that parents can do is to give children an environment to study.

※２は無し

1【添削前】

　　Education background is still very emphasized in 21st century, even though it is discussed for quite a while. I think children should concentrate on their studying.
　　First of all, studying is children's top priority. If they don't study enough when they are students,
it could influence on their future education and job.
They must put their energy in studying.
　　Second, competiton among students is very fierce.
They get stressed all the time. I think it's important to give them some relax time rather than give them regular chores.
　　For these reasons, I think parents should not give children regular work at home. Studying is their responsibility.