This is me, Who I am.

Aloha everyone!

Thank you for being interested in this article.
Let's share who I am and my thoughts.
Also, my real experience of unconscious bias.

１.This is who I am. 

Let me introduce myself a little first. I am of mixed heritage, half Japanese and half American, born and raised in Japan. I spent my entire life in Japan until the age of 25.
My appearance is more American and tall.
I had practiced Kendo (Japanese martial arts) for 14 years.

From this introduction,
What did you think about me?

Did you think that I am a bilingual speaker?
Did you think that I eat hamburgers every day?

These questions are real and have been asked of me. My answer would be "NO." Japanese is my mother tongue, and I rarely indulge in hamburgers.

2. The real story of my experience.

Throughout my life, I've struggled with the disparity between my appearance and my true self. It's been an ongoing challenge.
Even when I converse with a person in Japanese, people try to speak in English.
A humorous instance occurred when I returned a dropped item to someone; their instinctive "Thank you" in English added a touch of irony to the situation.
However, not all experiences have been amusing.

During a final interview in Japan, while I was a university student, The interviewer remarked " The TOIEC score is low even if you are half." when he saw my resume.

It left me utterly shocked and at a loss for words, revealing the harsh realities embedded in our society.

Upon my relocation to Hawaii, everyone talked to me in English.
Once I speak English, the person asks me "Where are you from?" When I answered, "I'm from Japan," the response often carried surprise: "Really? You don't look Asian."

These encounters, both in Japan and abroad, underscore the complexities of navigating societal expectations based on appearance. My journey reflects the need for greater understanding and breaking free from preconceived notions.

3. It's up to you what you think.

While I was in Japan, I was afraid to speak in English because I always thought that what my surroundings thought of my English, like her English is not so good, or she can't speak English although she is a mix between American and Japanese.
After I moved to Hawaii, I am still afraid of it.
My personality is Japanese, so My thoughts and feelings, pretending, belongings, and outfits, are more like Japanese.
When I was in Japan, I was ashamed that I had never lived in the USA, was not like the typical American.
However, I noticed that this was my advantage because some positive aspects of my Japanese personality fit well into US society, which encouraged me to have confidence.
After this realization, I started to be proud of myself. I accepted that this is who I am.
Nobody cares who I am, I have not been able to accept this disparity for a long time because I have never thought about myself deeply. This means I escaped my reality and was not able to accept and admit it.

4. 和の心/ Wa no Kokoro

Here is the Japanese word " 和の心” " Wa no Kokoro", which means a mind that consideration for others, a mind that can put me behind others to think of others.
This is the word comes from my professor at my University.
The concept is truly beautiful, and it makes me proud of Japanese culture. I want to keep this word in my mind and create my life as I want.