Gratitude

One year ago, I could never imagine how far I could go within a year. At that time, I was so desperate for changes that I tried everything I could think of. Despite all my attempts, I could not find any way out except for an unexpected invitation from a door I did not even know existed.

Though it was a thin thread rather than a thick rope, it magically and soundly led me to a place where I should be. Insecure as I was initially, my worries soon turned into a conviction that I would have the time of my life at the new destination. 

Since the very first day, everything miraculously went well. When I wished for something, it came naturally. For questions that perplexed me for a long time, I was offered lamps showing the right direction. I enjoyed every new day, every disruption of my stereotypes and every opportunity to go farther. The stars were perfectly aligned for me.

And I changed. My way of spending time, my approach to daily decision-making, and my understanding of human life have changed drastically and beautifully. I learned to accept things as they come, I learned to unleash myself from restrictions, and I learned to live in the moment. I cherished who I was then, the people I was with, and everything else that surrounded me. 

Weirdly enough, I then became scared of a new change that would inevitably happen after leaving the country that made me feel so alive and fearless. I wished I could be living like this my whole life. I was so happy about the changes that already happened to me that I was starting to refuse any more changes. But of course, life does not work that way. There are always different phases with ups and downs, and sometimes you have no choice but to accept the change of reality.

Once I went back to where I used to live, I knew that I could easily blend in there; a busy life, fancy life, cool life. I sip a fragrant cup of coffee in a cozy, sophisticatedly designed cafe, watching people dressed in stylish coats and scarves passing by hurriedly. After all, that’s where I grew up, and I knew it wouldn't take too much time for my body to pick up this pace of life again. At the same time, that thought scared me, causing me the fear of losing the mentality I have acquired, the approach to life I have been opting for, and new perceptions that were starting to shift how I value different elements in life: faith, family, money and work. The waves of new realities were surging even when if I didn’t want to, which could overwhelm and transform my world in a flash. 

And then I picture my old self in my heart. I was happy in India not just because everything I saw was novel and beautiful, but also because I was focused on seeing everything in the light of positivity. I listened to my heart carefully and did what I believed was right as I was aware that my time there was not permanent. Looking back, there were stressful events and unwanted problems. But they never diminished the joy in my life. They were a part of learning and steps to move life forward. 

Though the changes I initially wanted may have been something visible - a country, a workplace or people to stay with - the real change I needed was to learn to make my life joyful, exciting and worth living not by what I can get but by my perceptions and behaviors no matter what the situation is. And I am still learning. My journey of change is not over yet.

Turn the fear into courage. Turn the new reality into an opportunity. Turn the past into your foundation. Gratitude always gives me the strength to move on.