Discovering a New Self through Self Love

Author: Shino-chan

Six Years of Darkness

At the end of March, I was finally able to attend a farewell party at work––though it was held in a conference room due to COVID-19 precautions––for the first time in a long time.

What do I mean by a long time?

Six years.

Six years ago, a thing as seemingly “normal” as attending a farewell party was not normal for me.

The combination of raising a child in a single-parent household and the stress from work had put me out of balance, both mentally and physically. I knew in my head that communication in the workplace was important. However, just the thought of going to those events made my heart drop.

A year ago, I was so afraid to even attend a farewell party held for me, that I missed it.

*If you are interested in more details, below is an article that summarizes what happened at that time. The article is in Japanese.

発達障害で不登校の息子に「包丁を握りしめた日もあった」。コロナ禍のシングル子育てを救ったのは - wezzy｜ウェジー

Changes brought by a year spent in a safe and secure place

So what happened to me during the year after transferring to a new workplace?

There should be an answer as to why I am now able to do what I have been avoiding for six years because six years is understandably such a long time: a person could start and finish elementary school within that time!

The workplace where I was transferred to had a system for working as a team. There was an atmosphere in which I could easily ask for help if I had any problems, and I was able to proceed with my work with a peaceful mind. In addition, there was no one who would place blame on me, therefore, I was able to keep an undisturbed work life.

Looking back, because I had a stable job, I was able to take on a number of different challenges that were completely new to me.

I participated in the following opportunities offered by the Single Mothers Sisterhood

1 May Mother's Day Campaign 2021: I participated as a support staff 
2 May-August: I participated in Single Parent TECH Empowerment Program
3 October-January: I participated in the Giving December Campaign 2021 as an essay production team leader

Participating in all three of these programs has brought about a change in my mindset.

Before, I used to think: 

"It's easier to do everything by myself!” 

As a result, I held everything in, blamed myself for not being able to accomplish things, and destroyed my own health both mentally and physically.

However, after taking on the challenge and participating in these three opportunities, I became a completely different person.

My beliefs changed, and I started to think like this: 

“People have strength by nature. It is important to create an environment in which they can exercise that strength."

"Through friendly effort and mutual encouragement from my peers, I can discover a part of myself that I didn't even know existed."

“I am thankful to have my fellows !”

Words I gave to the staff after my speech at the award ceremony

“Only two of us from our group gave a speech for the award, but I could not have done any of this without the help from all of you. It was a day to thank the campaign staff, the authors, and everyone who took time out of their busy schedules and created such a successful campaign."

These were the words of gratitude I gave to the staff after my speech at the awards ceremony when we received the Endorsing Partner Award for Giving December 2021.

In the past, I was not good at honestly expressing my gratitude because I wanted to do everything on my own and had too much pride to do so.

However, this time I found myself expressing my feelings in words and sending the above message. It just came naturally.

The process and results of self-love

Through these experiences, I learned the joy of learning and creating something together with my fellows. As a result, my mind––which was initially filled with "self-doubt,"––melted away as if the ice melted into water.

After a year of experience, I am now surrounded by self-love. I believe that this "self-love" is the very answer to my question.

Now, my communication with people at work has improved. 
I greet them in the morning when I arrive at the workplace.
Instead of running off to leave without even looking at colleagues' faces, now I say my goodbyes and leave the office with a smile.

And, for the first time in six years, I was able to participate in a farewell party.

In April, I was selected to be the team chief––the youngest chief member ever.

I myself was surprised at this change.

I realized it is important to surround yourself with self-love and do things with your authenticity. 
I am reminded once again that anyone can exert their inherent power as long as there is an ideal environment for it.

In this campaign, I am working as the overall project leader.

I will continue to spread the message to create a society where single mothers are able to contribute in their own way and continue to plant seeds to create a better future. 

And someday, I hope to meet my fellows in person –the dear fellows whom I met online through this project –and congratulate each other on the buds that have sprouted and grown to flourish.

Thank you for reading the essay. This essay was written by a single mother Shino-chan to promote Mother's Day Campaign 2022. 
The act of writing an essay and sublimating it into a piece of art with two compassionate proofreaders has a healing effect on single mothers, helping them to make positive sense of their past and regain their confidence through this journey.If you believe in the importance of self-care and support our program that provides opportunities for single mothers to regain their strength, we hope you will support our crowdfunding efforts as well! Here is the link.

Single Mothers' Sisterhood

https://congrant.com/project/sisterhood/4690