the box: Re6

3日連続で投函させて頂いている礒貝剛さんの箱シリーズに関する翻訳、最後の3日目とにゃる第6話目ですにゃ〇

かれこれ１年という長い歳月をかけて、延べ、3万文字近くの翻訳を信頼できる第三者（帰国子女：私とは逆で7歳まで日本で、それ以降、海外住み。現在は日本で家族三人と暮らし世界中を仕事で行き来している方）と共に幾度も協議を重ねてきましたにゃ🐾

自分なりに出来る精一杯を尽くして書き続けている翻訳を良ければ、ホケート眺めて、何かを感じて頂ければ、幸いですニャ🌈

そして、ご褒美に大好物の🍫を頂けると歓喜しますにゃ（笑）
なんちゃってww

それでは、ごゆりと、どうぞですにゃ🐈

原作

睦夫さんと合える当日に発作を起こしてしまった小春
その時、咲の取った行動とは？

という事で、のんヴりご覧くださいニャ🐾

〇〇〇

I slowly approached to Koharu.

I sat in front of her, taking a little distance.

"Koharu, are you okay?"
I asked her with a small voice.

But she didn't seem to be okay.

......I think her nerves was at full stretch all the time.
And probably, she was not aware that she was overwhelmed the whole time.

I think Koharu was full of joy to meet Mutsuo-san.

But the other hand, it may have been difficult to realize that
she became nervous. Koharu didn't seem to be able to move
for a while.

In my experience, being Koharu’s friend for a long time,
it is best to just leave her alone quietly in most of these cases.

I already knew how to contact Mutsuo-san,
because Koharu told me before just in case he got lost when we meet.

So, I was able to contact him and explained the situation.

However, if I do so, Mutsuo-san might reschedule and go back home.

Then, if that happened I thought that Koharu might get disappointed with herself, like she got when she was in high school.

Even though Mutsuo-san said it’s okay to meet another day,
Koharu will blame herself and feel deeply guilty for breaking her promise to meet him.

And she will never try to meet him again.

Koharu was so happy and excited to meet him,
so it is something she wouldn’t like to be happened.

And also, something worse might happen.

She might go back to herself what she used to be,
and start avoiding men again, even on social media.

She would start thinking that she might bring trouble
when she gets involved with them.

Her mental situation became getting better so far, and as her best friend,
I would not allow her to go back to her earlier state.
If that happens, I don't know whether she can recover next time.

I went to the place where we decided to meet Mutsuo-san.

I didn’t have any idea, what to do or what to say,
but I was only heading to the park with a strong urge to do something
about this situation.

We are going to meet at the park nearby.

There wasn’t any slides and swing to play around with, and
it looked like a park where we used to splay water at each other
when we were in junior high school.

The park seemed unpopular, which is similar to that park.
Even the loneliness looked the same.

The orphanage where we used to live was very close to
where we live now.

Maybe, there are several parks like this around here.

I ran as fast as I can, but I was a little still late.

There was only a man in the park.
I didn’t know how Musuo-san looked like.

When I looked at him, our eyes met.
He started walking towards me, and stopped when he was in front of me.
And then he asked, "You're Miss. Saki, right?”

I answered "Yes".
The man bowed his head and said,
"Nice to meet you, I'm Mutsuo."

I was relieved that he knew me.

I also returned a greeting,
"Nice to meet you."

He was a little shorter than I expected.
And his voice was not that low for a man.

He was quite feminine and didn’t have much facial hair.

He is the one whom Koharu has been talking about the whole time.
It felt a bit strange to me to find him in front of me.

"Where is Miss. Koharu?", he asked.

"I'm sorry. Koharu suddenly got sick..." I explained so.

“Really? Is she OK?”

Mutsuo-san was surprised and started worrying about her.　

"She’ll be all right,,, I think."

"Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.
Please go back to her as soon as possible."

Since I gave him vague response, he got worried more seriously.

I kept replying, 
"I’m so sorry, although you came all the way to meet us."

Musuto-san said, “Oh, no! Don’t worry!!”
with a warm smile,

"It’s actually regerttable that we can’t meet today, but
there is nothing that we can do whenever Koharu got sick."

Mutuo-san said just like he understood the situation,
but his facial expression told me that he was kind of sad
not to meet her.

"This is my first time to walk here around, so I’ll take some pictures while I go home. Please tell Koharu to take care."

Mutsuo-san started to leave.

If I let Mutsuo-san go home, I felt Koharu will not forgive herself and
become deeply reckless.

I didn’t know what to say, but I had to come up with something to
stop Mutuso-san from going home.

"Koharu was really looking forward to seeing you!"

"Really?"

Mutsuo-san's voice sounded happy.

What should I do…?　
I kept asking to myself, and I don’t know why but I decided to ask it to Mutsuo-san.

That’s why I thought we need to talk somewhere calm and quiet,

"Please let me buy you a cup of coffee to apologize for Koharu not showing up today."

"Please don't mind. It's okay."

It didn't work as I thought.

I've never invited a man to have some coffee together,
so I don't know how to do it.
So, I tried again next time in a more straight way.

"I want to talk about Koharu, so can we go to café?"

Mutsuo-san became slightly anxious,
but he listened to me, and said "Yes, but I’m gonna pay."

I replied, "OK."

I led the way to the nearest café in front of the station.

I didn't know how much Koharu was telling
Mutsuo-san about her phobia.

She might told him only a little bit, so he won’t freak out.

If so, I felt a little sorry to Koharu but I had to tell Mutsuo-san
what Koharu has been going through in her life.

That’s what I was thinking the whole time
while we were walking to the café.

And I almost forgot that I was walking with Mutsuo-san.

We barely talked on our way to the café.

After entering the café and ordreing some drinks, I immediately talking about all I know about Koharu to Mutuso-san.

Social media was the only way to connect with a men for her.

Even on that social media, Koharu got scared when a boy asked her out
during her high school days..

At the situaition, she blamed herself for that and
started to avoiding men even on social media.

And that had been remained for several years, so I didn’t want her to experince such situaion again.

Mutsuo-san listened to my story seriously and then muttered.

"Oh, I didn’t know that."

Koharu didn't seem to tell Mutsuo-san about this.

"Please let me know if there’s anything I can do."

"Thank you, Mutsuo-san" I bowed my head.
"But I don't know what is the best for her," I said.
I honestly told Mutsuo-san that I was confused now.

"Okay, let's think together what to do."
"Yes please, I would really appreciate that."
It was a word from my heart.
It was nice to ask Mutsuo-san for help.

The pressure to figure out what is the best for Koharu was eased a little.

"I'm sorry"
Mutsuo-san suddenly apologized.

"Is something wrong?"

"At first, when I heard that Koharu-san was feeling ill,
I thought that was an excuse."
"Excuse for what?"
I was surprised and asked him.

"I thought she was making excuse because
she didn't want to meet me..."
I was caught by surprise because
I didn’t think Mutsuo-san was thinking like that.

And he also said,,,

"And I also worried when you told me that
you wanted to talk to me about Koharu-san."
"Why?"
I asked him again.

Then he said,

"I thought that you were going to tell me to
never talk to Koharu-san again."

The more he told me how he felt,
the more his face turned cloudy.

"I didn't know that Koharu-san was that kind of situation."

He said that with a sad look.

I nodded without saying anything.

"And I realize I was only thinking about myself."

"No, that's not true."
I pacified him.

Then, we kept speaking each other.
"I've always wanted to meet Koharu-san..."
"Really!"
"But I gave up meeting Koharu-san."

"Why?"
"Since she once told me that she had a male phobia..."
"……Oh"

Mutsuo-san wasn’t able to ask Koharu out no matter how much
he wanted to.

". I don’t know this would be a right answer but
I want to say this from the bottle of my heart..."

"Yes."

"How about telling her that I said
she can call me whenever she wants.”

But that wasn't enough.

"In that case, Koharu might not reach out by herself."
"Is that so…"

"Then how about I call her when she didn’t reach out by herself."

He also made other suggestions by thinking about Koharu's character.

But that wasn't still enough.

"She might not open your messages because she feels so sorry."

Mutsuo-san muttered, "I see...".

"Maybe she might feel sorry for you to be involved with her."

"I didn't know she would think in that way.”

“Yes, and she would try to stay away from you and not get involved anymore.”

“I understand…”

"As you know, we were finally able to get to meet each other. so
she will feel so sorry when things like today happens."

Mutsuo-san was listening to my story very carefully.

"She may say like, ❝if I may cause such trouble in the future...
I think it would be better for us not to meet again❞."

"Foo"

Mutsuo-san had a big sigh by puffing out all the breath that he had
by the corner of his mouth.

"Why don't we decide when we will meet next time today
and have you ask Saki-san about it?"
I was thinking "What would Koharu do in that case?"

“Will she be scared?”

Mutso-san was worried how Koharu would feel
"……I think that’s a good idea!"

Mutsuo-san looked relieved a little.

"She might not be scared."
I added.

Mutsuo-san looked more relaxed after I said that.

"...Oh, but even if things go well,
Koharu may suddenly have a seizure like today,
and she might not be able to come..."

Mutsuo-san started look worried again.

It made me feel sorry, and I said,
"……Sorry for making you worry so much."
But Mutsuo-san replied with a smile.

"No problem."

And then, he said,

"Let’s figure out something together when that happens again."

"That's right! Nothing is always certain in this world."

Finding a solution to this problem with Mutsuo-san made me also smile.

“Do you like Koharu?”
” What!?”
He looked surprised。

It looked like he wasn’t expecting such question.

"I mean do you like her as a girl."
 
I wanted to know how he really felt.

Mutsuo-san’s face started to brush.

"……Yes"

He admitted bashfully.

"You might think I’m not so serious, because we haven’t met before."

"No, not at all."
I denied his negative idea, and I continued the conversation.
"Is it okay to tell Koharu... that you like her?"
"What!?"

I don’t know how to say this, but I was thinking what to say without making a grim look.

"If Koharu knows that you like her, she might start not to be so hard on herself."

"Do you mean that you want to tell her that I want to be more involved with Koharu-san?"

"Yes"

"Doesn't she think it's clingy? or won’t that make her feel pressure?"

" Don’t worry. I will do my best so she won’t feel pressure.”

"Understood"
Mutsuo-san confirmed what i told and agreed with me.

It was a bit forcible, but we decided what to do about Koharu
in the future.

I sucked my straw to drink the last remaining of my ice grape fruit juice,
thawed slightly bitter.

"You really care about Koharu-san."

Mutsuo-san said.

He continued to say that Koharu talks a lot about me.

Actually, I don't put my real name on social media.

When I was modeling, I used the different name given by Koharu.

Mutsuo-san knew my real name, because Koharu was talking about me.
Mutsuo-san continued.
"Koharu-san says that you always help her well."

"No that’s not true."

I'm not trying to be humble.

"I am the one who is always helped by Koharu"

In fact, in daily life, Koharu is the one who is always supporting me.

However, Koharu might be felling that way because of her phobia.

Although, I had never met Mutsuo-san,
he knew my face because I am a model of Koharu's clothes.

If you get connected with Koharu on social media,
you will see my face even if you don't want to.

On the other hand, there was a reason why I didn't know Mutsuo-san's face.
And even Koharu has never seen Mutsuo-san's face.

Koharu asked Mutsuo-san to send us a picture of his face so she could easily recognize him when we meet.

However, Mutsuo-san denied our request, saying he felt shy to do so.

Koharu didn't want it to be annoying,
so she didn't ask him any more.

We were planning to meet at the place where that was not much people, so it was OK if we didn’t know his face.

Later on our conversation, Mutsuo-san told me the true reason why he didn’t want to send a picture of his face.

Mutsuo-san didn’t like taking pictures of himself.
It was hard for him to smile naturally, so he always looked angry.
He thought he might frighten Koharu and make her not want to meet him.

Mutsuo-san might have sensitive personality.

It is said that confident people are seen attractive,
but that's just a common theory.

Mutsuo-san takes great pictures.
I think he also has a good looks.

I thought that if he had a confident personality,
he would be very popular.

Maybe he's already popular,
but he might become more popular.

However, as compared with such a confident person, I thought Mutsuo-san would be a better match for a person like Koharu.

In addition, watching how he acts both online and offline,
he seems to be a trustful person.

If Mutsuo-san was a person like my father
who abandoned my mother,
I don't want him to be involved with Koharu.

I don't want Koharu to experience
the same suffering situation like my mother had.

I wanted him to be able to meet Koharu
just because he seems to be a trustful person.

Mutuso-san was not aggressive kind of person, so
I told him how much Koharu was looking forward to seeing him.

She might get angry if she knew that I told him that.
While we were talking, I was also expecting that Koharu might call us and tell us that she wants to join us.

However, Koharu didn’t call us.

I send Mutsuo-san to the ticket gate of the train station,
and way back to my room.

Koharu seems that she is still shutting herself insider her room.

She was really disappointed in herself because she was really looking forward to meet Musuo-san, but I think it was more than just “looking forward”. It was more rather a “hope” to gain confidence and make difference in her life.

So, I left her alone for a while.

And that day, she didn’t leave her room for whole day.

The next morning,
I went to work without seeing Koharu.

When I returned from work at night,
Koharu was waiting for me and cooking dinner.

Koharu welcomed me with a cheerful voice,
"Welcome back."

I realize that she was trying to be strong, and pretending like nothing bad happened yesterday.

Actually, I thought that she was still feeling bad for herself.
In such situaion, Koharu will push herself but this time it seems to be working very well.

Thanks to that, I was able to make conversation with Koharu.

But I felt a little bad because, I was trying to touch something that Koharu is trying to avoid. 
However, I couldn’t help telling her about the conversation I had with Mutso-san.
 
"Mutsuo-san wanted to meet you, Koharu."

I opened conversation by saying that, and told her the whole story about yesterday.
And also said that Mutsuo-san really wants to meet her and we already scheduled the next time we will meet.
I could see Koharu became nervous.

"I might disappoint him again."
Koharu said that in a small voice with a sad face.

I said to her right away, "Mutsuo-san said he won't care about it."

Koharu was listening to what I said while she was looking down.

"Even if the same thing happens like yesterday again?"

Koharu was listening to my words carefully.
"By the way, I'm pretty sure that..."
I paused for a little while before I say next thing.

"I think Mutsuo-san likes you, Koharu."

"How do you know that?"
Koharu asked in tearful voice.

"When I told him that you were looking forward to meet him,
he looked extremely happy."

Koharu looked down much deeper to hide her face, and I tried to look her face from below. Then she turned away.
However, I could see Koharu's cheeks rising from the side of her hands
covering her face.

I grabbed Koharu's wrists and opened her hands covering her face.

Koharu closed her eyes and trying to keep poker face,
but she couldn’t help herself from grinning.

You can see that she was crying while ago by looking the corner of her eyes.

Crying, laughing, keeping her poker face.
Her emotion is truly busy for its purity, and it seems to be adoreble for me.

Through her feelings, it was obvious that Koharu likes Mutsuo-san.

I can still remember how cute she was.
It even wanted me to kiss her.

〇〇〇

原作：

あとがき：
毎度のお気に入り翻訳パート3選も本日で、ひとまずはラストですニャ🌈
かなりドヒャーと書いていますので、良ければ、マッタリとご覧くださいニャ(^^♪

・it was more than just “looking forward”. It was more rather a “hope” to gain confidence and make difference in her life.

原文には「楽しみ」なんて軽いものではなかった。とあったこのパート。
では、そこには、どんにゃ思いが秘められていたのか？

を内省した結果、「それは祈りであった。」という感覚に辿り着きましたにゃ🐾
「これまでの自分自身とは良い意味で異なる自分になる」
「ちゃんと自分に自信が少しでも持てる」そうなれるように「祈り」を込めて、何時間も時間をかけてメッセージを打ち、言葉を選んで咲と悩んで。。

そうしてやっと睦夫さんと逢えることが出来るはずだった。
だから必然的に「楽しみなんて軽いものではなかった」し、「ショックも大きかった」という繋がりにしましたにゃ📚

・Crying, laughing, keeping her poker face.
Her emotion is truly busy for its purity, and it seems to be adoreble for me.

「泣いているのか、笑っているのか、無表情なのか、いそがしい娘です。」
この一文。この一文に納得のいく翻訳をするのに実は3日かけていますにゃ（笑）

冒頭の第三者さんとは「busy girl」と訳していたのですが、何度も読み直している内に、違和感を感じて、何に違和感を感じているのかを先ずは悩みw

あっさりと一言で訳して良い一文ではにゃいんだ！って私の心が叫んでいる事に気づき、では、どう訳すのかを延々と考えて🎈

それで「忙しい」の言葉に隠れている感情・感覚・主語を探る様ににゃり、「何がどう忙しいのか？」と思考を練った結果、「表情豊か」「気分がコロコロ変わる」「見ていて飽きない」という言葉に辿り着きましたにゃ🚢

しかし、これらを英語にすると「busy/expressive/moody」というようにゃ単語ににゃり、少なくともアチラの感覚では「落ち着きがない」と捉えられかねにゃい、という判断に至りましたにゃ👓

これでは、あまり良い捉えられ方ではにゃい＋小春の愛らしさをもっとちゃんと伝えたい！と感じた私は、遂に原作者さんである磯貝さんに直接確認を取りましたにゃ（笑）

すると最初は「楽しませてくれる」という表現を頂いたのですが、もう一声くださいにゃ🐾とオネダリした所「特殊のだと【猫みたい】とかですかね」と言って頂きましたにゃ=^_^=

そう！「猫みたい！！」
そこから、私は、そもそも、人は何故猫を気に入る傾向にあるのか？猫の愛らしさを科学的に証明した論文を漁り、一般的に女性と猫が一括りにみられがちににゃる原因などを取り上げた論文も読み漁りましたにゃ📖

一見、明後日の方向に行っていると思われるでしょうが、これらの論文を読んでやっと、自分なりの結論が見えましたにゃ♪

そう、小春はとても純粋にゃんです！
purity(純真), adoreble（愛らしい）という単語が自分の心の中に浮かびましたにゃ🖊

つまり、冒頭の「何がどう忙しいのか？」は「小春の感情が、彼女の持つその純真性によって忙しい」のですにゃ！！
そして、その「純真性」を小春は「愛おしく」感じているのですにゃ💝

そして、この翻訳が最後のお気に入りパートへと繋がりますにゃ🌟

・I can still remember how cute she was.
It even wanted me to kiss her.

「このときの小春がキスしたいくらい可愛くて、印象に残っています。」という原文の翻訳部分ですにゃ🖌

先述した小春の「純真性」に「愛おしさ」を抱いた咲が、小春を「可愛く」想い「キスしたくなる」のですにゃ(*´ω｀)

正直言って、この三日間の翻訳の中で最も好きにゃパートです♪

はい！！というわけで、最終日とにゃる本日は、かなり情熱的に解説を書かせて頂きましたにゃ(#^^#)

役一年間かけてよく頑張ったね！と思って下さる方は良ければ、チョコをちょこっと下さいニャ🍫(≧∇≦)キャッ

と、冗談はさておき、ここまでの長文に目を通して頂いて
とても光栄ですニャ🌈

原作者さんの書かれた何気にゃい一文や一言を幾重にも紐解いて、そこに隠された小さな、でも凄く綺麗で大切な想いを見つけて

それを異なる言語に変えていく🛫

変えた先での文化や価値観も加味したうえで、その想いを貴方に届ける✉

翻訳とは、そういうモノだと下っ端ではありますが考えますにゃ🌸

最後になりましたが、改めて原作者さんである磯貝さんに敬意を表して、これからも水面下で翻訳を続けていきますにゃ🌊

本日も最後までお読み頂き、有難うございます♪🐈