自分に正直であれ

最近いろんなSNSがあって
自分もその利用者なんだけど

いろんな人のいろんな意見を
いっぺんに見れてしまう

例えばさっき見たのは
みんなの前で優しくて明るい人っていいよねぇ〜

っていう感じの投稿
それを見た第一印象は

自分もそうした方が、
周りにとって気持ちいいだろうなぁ

最近あったドラマ
いちばん好きなはな
にすごく感銘を受けたんだけれど

今までの自分は、
自分の気持ちに嘘をついて無理をして
元気なふりをしたり、
みんなの前で明るく振る舞って
笑い続けていた

正直しんどい、面白くない、帰りたい
そんな時も場の雰囲気を壊さないようにしていた
空気を壊さないようにしていた

でもそれがあっていたのか？

と最近疑問に思うようになった

喜怒哀楽の喜と楽だけなわけがない
怒哀もあるはずだ

その気持ちを喜と楽で隠していたんじゃないか

だから私は必ずしも
いつもみんなの前で明るい人
というものを
疑問に思うようになった

面白くない時は無理に笑わなくてもいいんじゃないのかな
むかついた時、嫌なことがあった時は、言い方を考えて素直に伝えればいい

自分の気持ちに蓋をする必要が少しなくなって
少しだけ楽になった気がした

結構勇気がいることだと思う
嫌われたくないと思って
誰もがにこやかに場を終わらせたいと思う

でも本当にそれが自分の気持ち？

表現の仕方、伝え方、アンガーマネジメントは
人を不快にさせないために
あった方がいい

う〜んうまく伝えれないけれど

これからはもう少し
自分の気持ちに正直になって

嫌な時は嫌だと
NOの時はNOと
うまく伝えれるようになったらいいなと思う

Recently, there are various social media platforms, and I am also a user of them. You can see various opinions from different people all at once. For example, the post I saw earlier was like, "It's nice to have someone who is always positive and cheerful." The first impression I got from that is, "It would be nice for me to be like that too, pleasant for those around me."

There was a drama I really liked recently, and it left a strong impression on me. Until now, I lied to myself, forced myself, pretended to be energetic, behaved brightly in front of everyone, and kept laughing. Honestly, there were times when it was difficult or uninteresting, and I wanted to go home. Even in such moments, I tried not to disturb the atmosphere and didn't want to spoil the mood.

But was that the right thing to do? I've started to question it recently. In the spectrum of emotions, it's not just joy and happiness; there should also be anger and sorrow. Was I hiding those feelings of anger and sorrow behind the veil of joy and happiness?

So, I've started to doubt the idea of always being a cheerful person in front of everyone. Maybe it's okay not to force a smile when things are not interesting. When I'm upset or something unpleasant happens, maybe it's okay to express it honestly, thinking about how to say it.

I felt that I needed less to suppress my feelings, and I felt a little relieved. I think it takes quite a bit of courage. Everyone wants to end the situation with a smile because they don't want to be disliked. But is that really how I feel?

Expression, communication, and anger management are necessary not to make people uncomfortable. Hmm, I can't express it well, but I hope to become a little more honest with my feelings from now on.

It's a bit difficult to convey, but I hope to become better at being honest with my feelings, saying no when it's a no, and expressing myself effectively in the future.