suffering caused by dissociation

When we, all human living, somewhat feeling "suffering" will happen anytime and any moment. If you said "In my life, I've never been feeling such emotion ", write a book and publish it, then you can get BIG money. Anyway, When and How do we suffer? In my opinion which As far as I can consider, It is difference between ideal self and real self. For instance, There are  ideal self that becoming rich and not as such self. In most cases, both of them would be visualized, won't suffer anymore. Because Knowing where we stand and where we aim to, then you only consider that how I reach there like mapping. But this is extremely hard..... So I'm going to deepen my thoughts and write about that.

I said that dissonance of ideal self and real self makes "suffering", but this suffering is something like a imaginary thing, isn't it? In fact, Suffering itself is imaginal, but now lets put a side of it. I focus on "ideal". How does ideal self establish? Maybe our consciousnesses depend deeply on external environments, so ideal that are generated by that consciousnesses is not exceptional.

The external environments is environment in which we grew up. To put it in more detail, I consider that people in that environment, such as parents, friends and teacher deeply relate it. Ideal self is something like "cancer" which  unconsciously made by Others. but A certain amount of interference by others is inevitable. (Unless, of course, you live on a deserted island.)

Then I came up my mind that without dissociate, we could not improve ourselves. Goals to be aimed for have often others effect. Dissociate itself and interference by others does not make suffer. I believe that Ideal self which is created by whether ourself or others is vary so far from real self and don't know how to get there which means can not mapping then, we suffer.

But this theme is too diverse. Means of Words which express feelings are different form people to people. I think this is just an example of my own suffering, subdivided into smaller parts. If I had more time, I would like to analyze it a little more: I wonder if the ideal of myself analyzing it, would not cause me pain.