My "Oshi-Katsu" for Bruno Mars is straying

There is something wrong with me.
Every time he posts anything on social media, it stirs me up. I'm dying from missing him so much.
It has been about two months since Bruno's concert in Japan ended. I thought that as time went by, my up-and-coming mood would gradually calm down. But I was wrong. I thought that if I went back to my daily routine of being busy with other chores, these feelings would settle down nicely in the appropriate gaps of time. But I was wrong.

Unable to resist the urge to fill my head and my heart with only Bruno, I went to another artist's concert to distract myself. Needless to say, those were great gigs. But on the way home, I would watch Bruno's videos.
Still, I still, for the life of me, have not been able to override my feelings for Bruno. No matter what I see, hear, or read about Bruno, the resolution is so heightened that I become dizzy. Unexpected feelings of mixed elation and delusion spring up and take over my head and heart.

I never thought I was an Afro-lover, and I never thought I was the type of person who would cheer at an overtly hip-shaking dance! I didn't know that the muscles that float on his guitar-strumming arm (called extensor digitorum clitoris), the bulge at the base of his thumb that holds the microphone, and even his bent wrist were sex appealing to me.... Although I am aware that I am a fan of the "drooping eyes," I find the ideal angle of the triangle created by Bruno's eyebrows and his rounded, drooping eyes, and I find myself gaping at them in rapt fascination... What the heck!
To top it all off, the hem of Bruno's shirt (probably silk) fluttering in the wind makes me feel irresistible, and I can't say out loud that I want to be the black towel Bruno wipes his sweat off with. (I did say it...)
I can't hold myself back.

To others, it may seem crazy, "Oshi-Katsu" (means fan activity in Japanese. "Oshi" is the person you become a fan of, love, and continue to support.) are wonderful! Every day is filled with fantasy and happiness. I'm so excited and excited. I know I'm a bit of a "naughty" person. Can I just say, "I'm having fun!

..., Huh?
And yet, why?
Somewhere in my chest, I feel a twinge.
Somewhere, it hurts...
Somewhere, it's painful...
Somewhere, it's hard...
Deep down, deep down, there's even a tear switch...

I think of him with such joy, but I'm filled with loneliness. Oh, this is the kind of thing that turns a "naughty person" into a "painful person". This is the one that turns you into a "pain in the ass". It's the end of the line. It's not right to suffer with all the fun you've had. As a mature adult, that's just not right.
So, therefore, I would like to train myself to ride this melancholic wave that sometimes comes crashing in like a surfer.... I want to sublimate the feelings I tend to have and be able to properly control my emotions that stray.

With this in mind, I looked at the social networking sites and found that everyone is very good at pushing themselves! I am impressed! Not only how to enjoy and stick to music and live performances, but also how to pursue a fashion that becomes Bruno, draw his illustrations, make goods and dolls, edit videos, etc., etc., etc.
The forward-looking embodiment of love and passion is wonderful! They seem to be professional at "Oshi-Katsu". I am filled with admiration and respect for them. And I am sure they must have empowered Bruno and given him even more joy and brilliance!

I confess here that I appreciate it with my eyes wide open through my phone screen and am grateful for the share of enjoyment. I wish I could do that kind of "Oshi-Katsu" too！

But I still miss you, Bruno….