2023/06/24 English

BGM: Gorillaz - Feel Good Inc.

It was a day off today. This morning I read Karen Cheung's "The Impossible City" with Blur's "Parklife". I guess that I had misunderstood about this book (or the place Hong Kong itself). TBH I had expected THE Hong Kong where people try to achieve their democracy. The place where is crowded with the atmosphere of tear gas and political demonstration. But this book doesn't show that kind of Hong Kong. I won't say that this book has no worth to be read by this fact. I have to think about this again because I could be trying to find "THE Hong Kong by various social media" and "THE Hong Kong I wanted to watch/enjoy". NO! I guess this author would say this. NO! The real Hong Kong, and the life in that town must be richer than that banal bias of mine. This book must be one of the best books I have read in this year. Yes, it is a great masterpiece. I have been attracted by her straight/honest words which describe her difficulties of life. It "knocks" my mind actually.

Influenced by that "The Impossible City", I look back to my youthful days (but not in anger). Ah, at that time I was really a idiot student. For me at that time, Damon Albarn from Blur was actually my hero. Almost everyday I had been into Blur's great albums. "Modern Life is Rubbish", "Parklife", and "The Great Escape". As you know, these are quite British albums. I can treat them as "Blue-eyed music", not any "funky/groovy ones" (of course, I welcome your different opinions!). Now I remember this... At that time, I could have these ideas in my "young and lovely" head as "Why was I born in this world as this kind of Asian one?", "Why is this town not London, Liverpool, or Manchester?", and "Heaven knows I'm miserable now"...At least, at that time I had NO interest in any funky/groovy music (Jazz, Funk, Hiphop) or world music (Reggae, Rocksteady)... I might blame myself too much. I believe that Damon Albarn could learn a lot from those sources of rich global music masterpieces.

This afternoon I went to the main house of my group home. There, I confessed about the failure of money management to the chief. I also talked about the "comfort zone". TBH I have a twisted mind so could feel comfortable if I was blamed terribly. If I am praised a lot (Ah, I can feel a lot of actual kindness from a lot of people on Discord, MeWe, and also my private life scene!), then I feel uncomfortable. I tend to think by that as "I am not such a great one". I can't accept that "praised" myself. "I must be a piece of rubbish", "I can be nothing but an idiot", and I do eat a lot or buy various things too much (my virtual self-hurt I guess). But this can't be any excuses. I want to "enjoy" those praising words... The evening I talked about this with a Russian friend of mine o WhatsApp. She taught me honestly as she had showed her braveness to attend various meeting. That's her important trial to go out of her "comfort zone"... I thought I should say farewell to my comfortable nest in my mind. I decided to go to another English meeting.

And this evening I enjoyed a presentation on ZOOM by a French translator and Rakugo (a traditional Japanese comedy) performer, Cyril Coppini. He has translated Gosyo Aoyama's popular manga "Detective Conan" from Japanese into English. He taught us how he had encountered the Japanese language. And he had learned Japanese literature and culture by ancient books, quested Rakugo's greatness, the reason why he started translating "Conan"... And at Q&A time I asked him as bravely as I could. "There are a lot of forms/styles of Japanese language. Ancient literature's one, Rakugo's traditional one, and manga also has funny one... Cyril san, what kind of Japanese language is your favorite?". Then Cyril answered us that "I like Osaka dialect, But every Japanese form must be profound. I can't stop studying because of its depth". I thought it could be the same as my idea about learning English... Ah, today was a really grateful, happy day (Indeed I made a failure about money). About identity as Japanese, and how precious learning foreign languages are... I thought about them once again.