Mini Argument (English100 Essay2)

2021年7月12日 09:48

This is my second essay for English 100 that I took at MiraCosta College in Fall 2017. The topic was “Mini Argument + Rhetorical Analysis.” I wrote a persuasive letter to a food company and its analysis. Enjoy!

これは、近年、地元のコミュニティカレッジで音楽を勉強していたときに、必須科目だった English 100 というクラスでのエッセイ課題です。トピックは「Mini Arrument + Rhetorical Analysis.」で、私は食品メーカーへお願いをする手紙を書きました。提出日は 10/24/17 です。

Mini Argument - No More Carrageenan, Please!

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Abe Xyz (Co-Founders of XXX Farms),

Hi there! How’s everything in sunny San Diego? I’m moved by the story behind your GFY shakes, which you first developed for your son, XXX, then decided to share with everybody. GFY includes 29 superfoods and comes with palatable flavors. Everything looks good, except one thing: it includes carrageenan as a thickening agent.

Please consider removing carrageenan from your products. There are many other options to thicken liquid. This additive has been studied for 40 years and proven to cause inflammation, cancer, and diabetes in lab animals and human cells. Studies that found no evidence of carrageenan adverse properties were mostly funded by the food industry (“Carrageenan”). In addition, the National Organic Standards Board (NOSB) finally voted to ban carrageenan from organic food in 2016 (“National”). This is a significant move for health-conscious people. Many organic food companies have already started to follow the NOSB’s guideline (“Shopping Guide”). I look forward to seeing XXX Farms follow this remarkable trend.

I’m a possible victim of carrageenan; following many years of unintentionally taking in carrageenan from foods, I lost my colon to ulcerative colitis in 2014. Moreover, many others have suspected that carrageenan has caused their gastrointestinal problems (“Carrageenan”). I hope anything like these won’t happen to people who love your shakes. I truly believe GFY could be the best nutritional shakes on the market if carrageenan was not included. If you remove carrageenan, you’ll be a true leader in promoting health.

Thank you so much for your time and consideration.

Maki

Rhetorical Analysis

You had a wonderful night out with your date. The food was great. The conversation was smooth. Then, when you come home, you find chicken between your front teeth. You go, “Aauugghh!!!” It was almost perfect, except one thing…you would feel the same way when you found an unwanted ingredient in a food that you thought was perfect for your needs. In “No More Carrageenan, Please!” Maki petitions Mr. and Mrs. Abe Xyz, co-founders and decision-makers of XXX Farms, to remove carrageenan, a thickening agent, from the company’s nutritional shakes. To support her argument, Maki lists carrageenan’s possible adverse properties by using a source that summarizes studies on carrageenan, as well as the National Organic Standards Board’s decision against this additive. She reveals that she herself may have been a victim of carrageenan after many years of unaware intake of carrageenan from foods. She points out that an outcome of the removal of carrageenan from XXX Farms’ shakes will be “the best nutritional shakes on the market” (1). To persuade Mr. and Mrs. Xyz to remove carrageenan from their products, Maki elaborately uses a set of rhetorical strategies, including praising the products and the mission of her audience, supporting her argument by using scientific findings, evoking fear by inserting her first-hand experience, and concluding the letter with the benefits of her request.

Instead of going straight to the issue, Maki commences her letter with praises for the products and the mission of her audience. She achieves this strategy by first greeting her audience with friendly lines: “Hi there! How’s everything in sunny San Diego?” (1). She then proceeds to praise the mission of the company by saying she is moved by the way the company was founded, as well as its products by commenting that they include “29 superfoods” (1) and come with “palatable flavors” (1). After that, she gets to the main issue: “Everything looks good, except one thing: it includes carrageenan as a thickening agent” (1). When one needs to bring up a serious request or demand to someone else, it is always wise to ease the tension by starting with a friendly greeting if it is possible. Maki is successful in this strategy because she first says “Hi,” and then asks how her audience are doing in San Diego with a hint of praise for the city. People generally like to hear a compliment about the place where they live. Located in Southern California, San Diego is known as a beautiful place with year-round mild weather. Her audience are certainly proud of San Diego as well, so they would like to hear such a compliment. In addition, she does not forget to praise other more important aspects that they are proud of: their products and mission. Praising these aspects is a great way to buffer the tension before a serious discussion is needed. She elaborately declares that their products not only include healthy ingredients but also are delicious. This strategy also helps prevent the impression that she is an enemy of her audience. In fact, it gives them the impression that she is a supporter of their products. After establishing her positive relationship with the audience, she is ready to point out the main issue: there is one flaw in the audience’s products. Overall, by praising her audience’s products and mission, Maki paves the way for the main argument and makes them all ears before she proceeds.

After giving her audience “the carrot,” Maki starts a new paragraph with a petition for the removal of carrageenan from their products and proceeds to use a scientific report to support her argument. Based on the report, she informs her audience that carrageenan “has been studied for 40 years and proven to cause inflammation, cancer, and diabetes in lab animals and human cells” (1). She also points out that studies “that found no evidence of carrageenan adverse properties were mostly funded by the food industry” (1). Moreover, she mentions the National Organic Standards Board’s recent decision to vote against carrageenan as well as the industry’s trend to follow the decision and concludes the paragraph with her expectation of seeing “XXX Farms follow this remarkable trend” (1). By using a report prepared by the Cornucopia Institute, a well-known consumer watchdog for organic food, she informs her audience of the truth about carrageenan that they may not know. This report is significant because it is one of the first attempts to summarize scientific studies on carrageenan over 40 years. The findings there are convincing enough to persuade people to avoid carrageenan. It also indicates that favorable studies were done mostly by the industry’s funds. It is clever to spotlight this point because it is easily to be overlooked. She also includes one of the most influential events about carrageenan: the NOSB’s decision and the industry’s current trend. Most people, even companies, want to keep up with the Jones, so including industry trends is a great idea. By using scientific evidence, Maki tells her audience about carrageenan facts and makes her argument logical and reasonable.

While her previous strategy was based on objective information, Maki uses a more emotional approach in her next move; she evokes fear, which serves as “the stick,” by inserting her first-hand experience as a possible consequence of continuous use of carrageenan. She implements this strategy by revealing that she lost her “colon to ulcerative colitis in 2014” (1) after “many years of unintentionally taking in carrageenan from foods” (1) and by identifying herself as “a possible victim of carrageenan” (1). Moreover, by using information from the Cornucopia Institute’s report, she adds that other people have also “suspected that carrageenan has caused their gastrointestinal problems” (1). She hopes “anything like these won’t happen to people who love your shakes, including XXX” (1). In the last paragraph of her letter, she reveals her true identity: a patient possibly affected by carrageenan. People generally pay attention to someone who has had a drastic change in their body. She takes advantage of this situation to evoke fear: “If you didn’t listen to me, you would end up being like me.” While there is no solid evidence that carrageenan had caused her ulcerative colitis, it is still possible that the additive played some role in her illness, as the scientific findings she uses indicate. Thus, her claim is not entirely a lie. In fact, she is not alone; she points out that many others also believe carrageenan has something to do with their health problems. Lastly, she connects her and other people’s experiences to her audience by adding her concern for those who drink XXX Farms’ shakes. Of course, this implies that there is hope only if carrageenan is removed from her audience’s products. On the whole, by using her personal experience with carrageenan, Maki effectively evokes fear so that her audience will take her petition seriously.

Finally, after warning her audience about a possible unwanted consequence of continuous use of carrageenan in their products, Maki gives them a bonus “carrot” by finishing the letter with the benefits of her request. She accomplishes this tactic by letting her audience know her belief that “GFY could be the best nutritional shakes on the market if carrageenan was not included” (1). Right before the closing of the letter, she declares that her audience will be “a true leader in promoting health” (1) if they decide to remove carrageenan from their products. After addressing negative implications and outcomes of continuous use of carrageenan, she adds a positive side of the whole discussion: benefits for both parties. Placing this point at the end of the letter is an excellent way of making the letter memorable. After the audience heard horror stories about carrageenan, they get a reward. If XXX Farms’ products become carrageenan-free, it will be good for consumers. If it can be achieved, the company will promote itself in the health food industry. Mentioning company benefits is an excellent idea because most companies are willing to make changes if they can benefit from such changes. As a result, by concluding her letter with positive aspects of the discussion, Maki creates a sense of community with her audience and they are more willing to listen to her.

So what do we learn from Maki’s argument? Is it relevant to us anyway? Yes, it is relevant to everybody and society itself because it is all about food safety. Most of us want to live healthy by choosing safe foods as much as possible. If there is reasonable doubt about an ingredient’s safety, we should address it to the manufacturers who use it. Everybody is busy today; many people often rely on liquid meals to save time, yet it is difficult to find such meal replacements with healthy ingredients. XXX Farms’ shakes are almost perfect, so Maki wants to help remove the villain from their ingredients. She efficiently persuades her audience by employing four key rhetorical concepts, such praise, scientific evidence, fear, and benefits. When we happen to encounter a similar situation, we can apply the strategies that Maki uses to deliver her argument.

Works Cited

“Carrageenan: New Studies Reinforce Link to Inflammation, Cancer, and Diabetes.” cornucopia.org. The Cornucopia Institute, April 2016, https://www.cornucopia.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/CarageenanReport-2016.pdf. Accessed 28 Sep. 2017.

“The National Organic Standards Board Votes to Remove Carrageenan, a Potent Inflammatory Agent and Possible Carcinogen, from Use in Organic Food Production.” cornucopia.org. The Cornucopia Institute, 23 November 2016, https://www.cornucopia.org/2016/11/national-organic-standards-board-votes-remove-carrageenan-potent-inflammatory-agent-possible-carcinogen-use-organic-food-production/. Accessed 28 Sep. 2017.

“Shopping Guide to Avoiding Organic Foods with Carrageenan.” cornucopia.org. The Cornucopia Institute, 18 Sep. 2017, https://www.cornucopia.org/shopping-guide-to-avoiding-organic-foods-with-carrageenan/. Accessed 1 Oct. 2017.

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