“Supervisors”

In April 2019, when I first moved to Canada, I had a student from China.

They were researching the queer community and hoped to become a professor in Japan. I encouraged them to obtain a professional social researcher's qualification at the last minute and taught another seminar about research methods, which wasn't part of my usual teaching load and was unpaid.

When I left for Canada, I arranged for two other faculty members to supervise the student, letting them choose between them. However, I anticipated that the kind professor they wanted to choose would not help them achieve their goal of becoming a faculty member. Thus, I strongly recommended the strict professor, explaining my reasoning clearly.

Other students, understanding my intention, also helped persuade them, but in the end, they chose the kind professor.

After a year in Canada, I returned to Japan, only to find that the student had struggled with their research progress and decided to abandon their goal, ultimately returning to China. I could not meet them.

For a while, we exchanged emails. We did the same during my second stay in Canada in 2021.

I feel like they escaped to Japan, while I escaped to Canada. Now, I am in Canada, trying to survive by getting another PhD. My new supervisor is also taking a research leave at the last minute to survive and will be leaving Canada, so I must find a new supervisor.

I am expected to manage on my own, either because of my career or because my new one lacks the capacity to support me. Nevertheless, we are synchro.

Despite having faced discrimination and finally managing to apply for a student visa after being accepted as a PhD student, I find myself without a new supervisor. This situation reminds me of the student who returned to China, and I am overwhelmed with sorrow and tears. I wonder what they are doing now.

Should I send them an email and suggest that they escape to Canada as well? Should I tell them that I have started connecting with Chinese, Hong Kongese, and Taiwanese queer activists and am exploring ways to work together?

My other supervisor is also synchro, researching China.

I feel that my study experience in China during my university days has shaped my current self, as my destiny.