Five Points You Do Not Waste Your Life By [Positive-Thinking]
You may have an bad image of person who talks and recommend you about “positive-thinking” well, I do so. And I found this interesting book and let’s share it with you!
A book “The Antidote”
The research was based on orthodox positive psychology that speaking in dispraise of being rampant and inexpensive positive self-development. It’s lightly saying really “The Antidote”.
So let’s share it with you or if you really like to read it on your own, I put the link above.
Do not think “positive”
Anytime it is a principle of self-development.
However, according to psychologist Daniel Wegner, wrote “White Bears and Other Unwanted Thoughts” it’s impossible to think of white bear when you are told not to think it. It means negative thoughts or negative feelings to change them into positive one by force, what will happen to you is adverse effects. It’s proven that the more you look away from negative things, the more you be covered with the negative feelings your mind.
If you do not want that, what you need for is “Buddhist approach”, according to professor Burkman. Do not make any effort to negative things just let it be, accept and wait until a wave of thinking will be gone. This is the method from Buddha developed since 2500 years ago. It is very likely similar to “Mindfulness”
Do not have huge dream or huge goal
You may be heard or told like “Set in your goal!” or “Have a great dream!” These are a wrong direction. A famous for this is from 2009, Harvard Business School showed their research that saying they completely defeated any goal setting because it will be narrow your field of vision and gets your moral down, lowering your motivation... Sounds like disasterous...
According to professor Burkman, most of the reason person who failed to climb Mount Everest because they were obsessive about their goal setting.
Moreover, they are actually not particular about their goal but they are just afraid of unknown future that making them to move.
Their fundamental reason comes from “Anxiety for their future” even they set their goals up but eventually they just tighten their creativity.
Do not have to enjoy your job
It is also you may be heard or told about like “Enjoy your job with passion!” It is useless even you don’t enjoy your job at all, right? It will pop up “White bear reaction” to you and more trivial job will be highly noticeable.
If you feel like “can’t have any passion to my job.” It is the best option you can take is firstly observe yourself that why I can’t have any passion to my job closely and think “leave it aside” for your job and move on. It is one of the technique of Buddhism.
Do not be obsessed by Self-Esteem
It is a common sentence “Be confident!” from self-development. It is said that quite a lot psychologists have doubt about “self-esteem” concept itself. Eventually if you are obsessed with self-esteem level, you force yourself not to fail in your mind deeply so you will be worn out because you always focus on keeping up to maintain with an confidence.
The initiator of rational-motive therapy, Dr. Albert Ellis announced that the self-esteem is “The worst enemy of distraction for emotions!” and made clear to dissociate your movement from yourself and think for each movements if they are right or wrong.
Do not avoid negative person
Also being said that “Take a distance from negative person!” or “Do not let dream killer comes close to you!” It’s huge misreading.
According to psychologist Julie Norem, when you think worst circumstance, you will be at least less released from anxiety for your future so to think negative is not always wrong. It is called <Defensive Pessimism>, an ancestors named Seneca and Epictetus used this technique.
Also in business situations, they theorized <Defensive Pessimism> to <Effectuation>, more importantly to think first is “How you can stand against failures” than “Whether you succeed your business well or not”.
Here’s a summary for this time...
However, of course there are many proven researches showing up with positive-thinking profits so don’t take too serious about a side effects of positive-thinking.
You understand yourself and take which methods are suitable for you then you will be fine. Bye for now.
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