City of Refuge (novel)
This is the English translation
of my Christian novel.
As you can see, English is not
my mother tongue and
it needs much improving.
Please help me if you can ;)
As the plane landed on the ground, Maki could feel the hot air outside despite being
in the dry cold air-conditioned plane.
Blue sky spread out of the white window.
It made him feel at home.
“We landed on the Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport."
The airport was new but dim. He was led like a baggage point to point by the signpost.
It made him feel silly to be stripped of shoes and belt. The middle eastern guy next to him was checked severely. Especially for the
coins that were found in his pocket.
Maki grabbed his suitcases, and after the final check, he was released at last. As he comes out to the lobby pushing the creaky cart that
won’t run straight, he flushed his eyes for the sudden white, bright light. Some people hold
cardboard with "Welcome" written on it. "I would feel embarrassed", Maki thought, because
he has never overcome his Japanese
shyness. This is a land of Southern
hospitality.
Everybody there was looking for somebody,
but he couldn't see yet the man he was looking for. As he looks around feeling a bit like
an orphan, a middle-aged white man
wearing colorful shirts was sitting
turning back to him. He had a star backs
coffee on his hand.
Paul was sipping coffee and on his lap was
the open bible. He heard the heavy sound
of the cart and lifted his head saying hi.
“Reading the bible in a place like this catches many attentions.”
Paul suddenly started saying.
“Really?”
Maki, who just came back from a country
where people rarely talks to stranger looked
slightly surprised.
“A gentleman with a British accent said he is a clergyman of the church of England.
And a veteran from Afghanistan was just here looking back on his whole life.”
“Did I make you wait that long?”
“I got confused with central time and the
eastern. But then I was able to talk about
Jesus to the veteran.”
After spending a month in Japan, Maki felt the dilemma of English not coming out smoothly in his throat, he made out words slightly slow.
“Wow. I spent a month with my mother and
I could not say a word about Him.”
Paul stood up and two of them dragged
suitcases to the parking. Paul said he
skimped on the parking so it is far, and
then said,
“Ellie’s gonna say, Maki got gloomy again
when she sees you.”
It was Paul’s habit calling out his wife’s name so often in conversation.
In summer’s long evening, the car left the
airport to the countryside, watching the
familiar names from the battle of Atlanta
on the road signs, further and further, among
the red dirt and pine trees, covered by purple
and pink sunset, it made it’s way to the remotecorner of Alabama.
The car arrived in Paul and Ellie's house. Orange light from the window was visible in dark pine woods. As the red front door
opened, warm light, smells of home cooking
and the queen of them all the Ellie all came
out at once.
“Welcome back, Maki!”
Ellie stretched out her hand.
“Just as I expected you look gloomy again! It could be the long flight though.”
Ellie was bright. Not just for her blond hair but it seemed like Ellie had no shadow
whatsoever, and no trials nor hardship could
dim the light of her. And she was stronger
than anybody. Her figure was small. But for
her inner strengths and her faith, people flocked around her whenever there is trouble.
The table was set for three. Maki was a
regular and he had his seat. As they settled,
Paul started praying.
“Lord, thank you so much for bringing back
Maki safely back home. Please intervene in
his situation and do your will. Please use him and bless him. Bless Ellie who prepared this
dinner for us. May it be nourishment to our
body. In the lovely name of the Lord Jesus
Christ, Amen,”
“How is your mother?”
Ellie asked as she poured gravy to mashed
potatoes.
“I don’t think she has much longer.”
Maki answered furrowing his eyebrow.
“Oh, I see……”
“Shouldn’t you stay there?”
Said Paul.
“It’s not like today or tomorrow, I had to be
back for my job……”
“That’s right…… What did your mother say?”
“As always. Why did the heir of the head
family forsook home and left for America?
Why are you still not married? Are you not
gonna do any Kuyo (Buddist service for dead
in the family) for me after I die?”
“The middle one I am also curious.”
Says Ellie then Paul intervened.
“Until God prepares him the right one, Maki
can’t do anything on his own, right?”
“Well, or you might be the Paul.”
"Only God knows.”
Maki and Paul were best friends since
university. It was about twenty years ago,
when Maki who was born in a Japanese
provincial old family as an only son and heir,
came to an American university to run away
from the heaviness of his destiny. He
searched for a school where there is no
Japanese to improve the language and found the little town university in deep deep South,
where there were no other Japanese for sure. Southern states are deeply rooted in
Christianity. Soon Maki found Jesus with the
help of his best friend Paul. Paul was a
passionate and anointed young man who
sometimes preached on the pulpit since teen.
Since then Shinshu-jin
(his home was Shinshu in Japan) Maki and
Southerner Paul went to the same church,
lived nearby, and even after Paul got married
their friendship never changed. Maki was kind of a serious person, favors literature and art
and Paul was a typical Southerner who favors hunting and ball games, but theirs, including
Ellie's common ground, was God.
“But surely there is a church in Japan too?”
Ellie asked Maki’s back as he carries the
dishes to the sink.
“I am from the province. There are churches
but I am rather picky. It’s not like I can go to a church that has no Holy Spirit moving nor I
won’t care about their teachings.”
“But there is a church like ours in Tokyo,
right?”
“I went there. It was interesting. They didn’t
have much Japanese though it’s in Japan.”
Maki who is the only Japanese in the
Alabama church said it with a slightly happy face.
“What do you mean by there is not much
Japanese?”
“The pastor is Philipino. And others were
Chinese and Indian. So there were interpreters in church. It felt a bit slow when you
understand English though.”
“How many people?”
“Well, about thirty. There were only about ten Japanese and others were foreigners.”
“Is that because it’s an atheist country?”
“Maybe so. But the deacon told me his family has been Christian for several generations
and I was surprised such family exists in
Japan.”
“Did you find a nice girl?”
Ellie insists on that question.
“Well, I’m not gonna tell you.”
“We searched so hard for your match in
America, If there is anyone Maki would fancy
that is a miracle.”
Ellie the matchmaker shook her head as if
saying I don’t know what more to do.
“Is she Chinese? Indian?”
“As I told you from time to time, I like
someone with whom I can talk about Pearl
Harbor peacefully.”
“Ah, if you were not that stubborn, you could
have been married ten years ago.”
As Ellie shook her head, her gold
silk-like hair that reaches to the waist waved
smoothly catching lights.
One step outside and it was filled with stars. There was no bright city light to dim it. Only
the silence of the countryside rules in here.
Maki walked to his home several hundred
meters away by walk. Paul went ahead of him by car and dropped the suitcases on the doorstep. People built their own trailer houses in
the hundred acres of church property.
There were about ten of them. Alongside
unpaved gravel road, it was built here and
there.
2
It was precious gathered up one month of
holiday, so he had to be back working without healing the time lag. When it was time for him to decide his major in university, he knew
choosing his favorite history or literature won’t land him a job near here, so he choose
horticulture for he liked to help garden in his
home in Japan. Maki with knowledge of
Japanese gardening found a job in landscape architect studio. Many came from the
architecture field but his knowledge of plants became handy. So he has been working with
red southern dirts for about fifteen years,
choosing plants, planting trees.
The landscape of the south is now filled with bright pink crape myrtle. Golden lantana and
buddleia called butterfly tree in the garden.
The cluster has to be cut very often. It is too
hot at midday so Maki always comes early in
the morning to tend the garden in his office.
He preferred hands-on gardening rather
than sitting in front of the computer and using CAD, maybe because he is not from the
architect field. But I have to quit this job soon, thought Maki vaguely, looking down on his gloved hand holding a shovel. Scott, his boss over fifteen years, understands his situation
and encouraged Maki deterred by his near
future departure from the USA, saying why
you should think of it as an opportunity to be
independent in Japan, which felt a little bit off.
He was taught in his school back home, that U.S.A is like a salad bowl. But he felt like
adapted and not adapted at the same time.
That may be because he is only here for the
temporary and because the old Japanese
blood in him is too strong. The more he stays
in America, he felt the more of his Japanese
self was called out. He liked his job. And the
south has modesty and courteousness that is similar to that of Japan. And he had a
wonderful church family he never wants to
leave. But he always had a feeling that this is not where he should take up the root. In
America, he was an observer, not playing his
drama. The fact that all his friends are
married and have family, and that he is left
single and alone might have affected his view of it a lot. I wonder how to say spinster in
male form, he wondered faintly. Then he saw an army of fire ants marching beneath his
feet. Maki jumped in a fluster.
3
Maki learned about the city of refuge by the
preaching of his pastor. He had read it in the
bible, but until it was preached to him, he
could not envision it in his head.
It was a law of God under Moses as he lead
the people of Israel down from Egypt. If any
man killed another not intentionally, he could
run into one of the six cities of refuge and he will be safe from the hand of revenger. He
can’t cross the city limit. If he is outside the
city, it is rightful that he be killed by the
revenger. He has to stay there until the high
priest dies. After the death of the high priest,
he can only go back to the land he belongs to.
So I was in the city of refuge, Maki thought,
feeling like he got a revelation. He has never
killed a man. But he was destined by birth to
keep Butsudan (Buddhist home shrine), to be
faithful to his clan’s Buddhist temple, do all
the Buddhist rituals, play part in local feasts,
and do all the things that are expected of the master of the head family. He has never
chosen any of them. The destiny laid out for
him was completely against following Christ. Even before he met Christ, he was feeling
something so heavy that made him want to
run away. When he met Christ, for the first
time in his life he found the light, someone
who will save him. To be the master of head
family and to follow Christ was so conflicting, he was staying in this city of refuge for twenty years, as his heart tells him to.
The high priest was his old mother the only
one left in his family. His mother is now
carrying the burden he will have to carry in the future. When she dies, Maki will be forced to choose whether he likes it or not. Choose
Christ or live up to the expectation of the
world. He has already decided. But to go one step out of the city of refuge was just
so frightening.
4
Saturday was a picnic day at church. It was
sunny but not too hot. Sunshine was filtered
through the green trees, children run all over
and most of the church people were there.
Outside the church building, underneath the
shade, long tables and folding chairs were
set. It’s a potluck picnic, foods everybody
brought lined up under the carriage porch.
This was the first time Maki saw his church
family after coming back, so people came to
him continuously and asked how it was in
Japan and shook his hand with much love.
On the paper plate, Maki got Mashed
potatoes with gravy, fried chicken, and green
beans, the typical southern cuisine. After he
finished it, he received little three months old Lily who is a Paul's niece and sat down
quietly. Lily was wrapped in soft gauze and
her long eyelashes were tightly closed.
Maki held this unearthly soft, white, and
warm tiny creature with seasoned hand.
Teenagers came to Maki looking for a
volleyball member, saw the baby in his arm,
and left.
Suddenly Ellie was standing beside him with
light shining down on her.
“I wonder if we will ever hold our own baby.”
It was very rare to hear something like this
from Ellie. It has been more than ten years
since she was married but she seemed like
she is okay with not being able to have her
baby, and she was loved by all the kids in
church as Antie Ellie.
Maki got slightly upset and teased her
deliberately.
“Well, I don’t want to be killed by Paul.”
“You think I am always meddling, aren’t you?”
She sat down beside him and said.
“I am not just teasing you. Well, yes, I am
teasing you though. I am also praying. I am
appealing to God that Maki needs a
helpmeet.”
Ellie touched a red plastic cup catching the
sunlight with a thin white hand.
“You will be gone soon, and Paul will miss you terribly. I'm sure Paul will say he will go to
Japan to minister. But Paul won’t be able to
understand your complicated Japanese
traditions. You have been in the States so
long, yet you are Japanese from the core. God has just the right one for you in Japan. He
told me about it.”
She said it in one breath and smiled like a
sunflower.
“I will miss you too. Why do we have to say
goodbye on this side of the world, I wonder.
On the other side, there is no goodbye. All the precious people will always be with you. The more I grow old, the closer that side feels to
me, shining brighter, so close that I can
almost touch it and it feels so real to me.
To live is Christ, to die is gain.”
That moment some quiet wind like
premonition went through Maki’s mind. But he killed it, not wanting to realize what it is. Ellie was five years younger than Maki and Paul.
She always looked like she is most beautiful
in the present. Mature, fragrant, and emitting Ellie. She was like a little sister to Maki and
felt so dear.
“You should come to Japan too. I will show
you black dirt and blue mountains covered
with snow.”
Feeling pain inside, Maki tried to act as
cheerful as he could.
“Like Virginia?”
“No, not like that. My country is in a basin so
the land is more flat. But beautiful like
Virginia.”
“I think I will go. Paul’s going, so am I.”
Maki quietly watched the sunshine dance on
the surface of the white table. The afternoon was too perfect, too beautiful, and almost
brought tears. Little children climbed on
Maki’s lap. All around him were people who
loved him like mother, father, grandparents,
brother, and like a family. Maki was part of
this family. The color of skin nor nationality
didn’t matter here, but he was part of this
family of people who have Jesus’s spirit
within. The weight of twenty years was too
heavy and it was painful to leave. Maki
thought of Ellie’s word about the other side
over and over.
5
At the end of the Sunday service, Pastor
called out Maki to the front.
“Brother Izumi!”
This sturdy pastor is almost the only one who calls Maki by his first name. So many years
ago, Maki told him what his name is related in Japan at the lunch table. Maki Izumi (In Japan family name comes first) is a 19th-century revolutionist who advocated to revere the emperor and expel foreigners, who died
halfway through. So Maki was saying that’s
why he prefers to be called by his last name,
but this pastor who looks stern but loves
jokes said what a wonderful name and kept
calling him with his first name as an inner jokefor more than a decade. For others, they all
call him Maki and it seems easy for them.
“Brothers, come to the front and lay your
hands on Maki. Let’s pray!”
Some prayed in tongues, some in English,
everyone gathered around Maki and prayed.
After a while Pastor started saying.
“You know about the city of refuge?”
Maki nodded.
“You came here by peculiar circumstances.
And met Jesus here and was made a new
man. As long as you stay here, you are free
from the feudalistic bondage that awaits you back home. This was your city of refuge.”
“But thus saith the Lord, I am your City of
Refuge. I have no border nor sea. Wherever
you are, I am with you. I will call you to the
place you came from. I am the High Priest. My blood has set you free.”
“Fear not, be strong. Izumi, you can stand on
your own now. You have inhaled the word of
God here and grew up to the perfect stature of man. So it is alright. We are always
supporting you by prayers. When you feel
lonely, just come back to us. It’s a race
between you coming or us missing you and
visiting you to Japan.”
Pastor gently hugged him, the one Maki looks up as a father.
6
The invisible wind went through the air,
announcing the end of the summer. This
campground of the church is a struggle
between the untouched woods and developed ground, the seedlings of pine attempt to
cross the border with vigor trying to get the
land back to wilderness. The light is
translucent, like the old picture of Eggleston. Here in the south, there is a tenderness of the defeated like the Tohoku region (Northern
Japan) of Japan which was said
“Above Shirakawa sixpenny a lot”
Church stood on top of a gentle hill. From his trailer to the hill church is built on, Maki
preferred to walk six minutes, unless it’s too
hot in summer. Though Americans like to
drive however short it is.
When he stood on the hill, his trouser pocket vibrated. He had a premonition. It could have been any kinda email. But it was from his
uncle.His mother, the last seawall between him and the house has died.
Feeling ungrounded with empty resignation,
grieving for the mother he could not get along with, and thousands of little things that has to be done, Maki visited Pastor’s office.
“My mother died.”
He knocked, and to the opened door he said. Pastor and Paul who was helping him looked
this way with stoned face.
One side of the office was filled with books.
On the mahogany table was a sculpture of an eagle folding sword. Israeli sculptor gave this to the pastor. Maki has visited Israel many
times with the pastor already. Only the sound of papers coming out of the printer run by
Paul echoes in the room.
The pastor who was standing by the door put his big hand on Maki’s shoulder.
Paul spoke in an upset tone,
“Shall I take you to the airport?”
Maki’s head started moving again, as he
returns to reality. When someone dies, it is
better to have too many things to do than to
have nothing.
“They say I don’t need to come. My uncle will manage the funeral. My mother’s funeral will
of course be in Buddhist style, so the heir who can’t be part of the rituals shouldn't be
attending.”
The pastor looked shocked.
“You are the only child of your mother and you can’t even attend her funeral?”
“If the only son is there, there will be too
many indecent things like why does he not
represent the funeral or if I represent the
funeral why can’t he follow the rituals like that. Then it’s better that I stay in America, so they can say he is too far and couldn’t make it.”
“What a horrifying place…… But at least Izumi
is protected from Buddhist funeral in this
way.”
Yes, I should think that way rather than feeling sorry for myself, Maki thought. But that was
the place he will go back.
“I will transfer my duties in the work, prepare
for the move and close my life here in about
a month. They tell me to come back but it’s
not like today or tomorrow.”
Without realizing it, Paul was weeping silently. Pastor handed a tissue to him.
“Let’s pray.”
Said the pastor and three of them held each
other around their shoulder.
“Oh, Lord. Here is our precious brother. You
tied him to our heart inseparably one, that
after twenty years, it is so painful to send him back to where you called him…….”
Pastor’s voice shook and Paul took over,
praying out loud.
“Lord, we believe you. We believe you are with Maki. We believe you will make a way for him. Surely you will protect him from pagan rituals and idols that await him. By your blood, you
set him free. Lord, Maki is free indeed. Your
blood has bought Maki back from being a
slave to the old feudalistic family bondage.”
A word came up to Maki’s mind. That was a word Jesus prayed in Gethsemane before He was crucified. With almost inaudible voice,
Maki repeated the word Holy Spirit is
whispering in his ears.
“......if thou be willing, remove this cup from
me. nevertheless not my will, but thine, be
done."
Liberation came that second. God’s Spirit
took away the fear and the burden from Maki. Like a wind, they felt the Holy Spirit fill the
place. They screamed as one. If they didn’t
scream, their intestines might have exploded with joy unspeakable. God was there. As the
fourth man who walked in fiery furness with
Shadrak, Meshak, and Abednego. God who
was and is was with three of them.
“This is revival!”
Pastor shouted.
7
The day of departure came. Paul was again,
the Kharon the ferryman. Maki already sent
his luggage ahead, so he was traveling light
like a backpacker. Departure from the city of
refuge felt like a trip to a battlefield. The
bloody red dirt he was touching
every day had become a part of him more
than the black dirt of his home. He is going
back only because God is calling him to.
That was invisible but had undeniable forces.
God does not always call those who love Him to superficial peace and comforts, Maki
thought. He was called and lead to suffering, persecution, and loneliness. Those who lay on God’s altar to be sacrificed on their free are
trusting God and are closer to God so much
more than those who only seek blessing from God. Of course, Maki realized what it would
mean to completely surrender to God in that
old family, in the context of head and
branches families. There was no brute
courage in him. He was too prudent, knew too much of the things to have frivolous sports
like courage.
He goes back to his homeland feeling like a
lamb that is to be slaughtered. To that land he longed for, where he can see fog over the
blue mountains. There, he will be one of the
multitudes, in the people with the same
history, same skin, and same eyes. He will
regain his context, and people will read a
string of stories in his ancestor, in his estate,
and the name of his homeland. To Maki who
spent twenty years abroad as a white sheaf of papers, it felt so enthralling to gain himself
back.
Two hours drive to the airport was spent
mostly in silence. Maki was telling himself
that this is not the last but tried to burn the
familiar trees, hills, towns, and the houses
thereof to his mind. Paul drove with his eyes
set ahead. An ocean separates the two
countries, and he was driving completely in a different direction, but it was as if Paul kept
driving ahead he can also go to Japan where his best friend is going alone.
As the airport drew nigh, the landscape got
unsettled. Newly constructed roads chopped up land and were going everywhere. The red
earth painfully puts on the manmade huge
concretes as if bleeding. Only the road was
brand new and fine. Paul parked his red Kia in parking that is cheap and far from the airport. Maki got off without a word.
“I can’t believe you have only this much
baggage.”
Paul looked at Maki's backpack.
“Just a month ago, you had so many
suitcases.”
Other than the backpack, he only had a little
carry-on bag with an air-blown pillow, passport, and books.
“I don’t have anybody to hand out souvenirs in Japan.”
“Why don’t you get something for that young
lady you met in Tokyo?”
“I’m fifteen years older than her. She wouldn’t want to deal with a middle-aged man like me.”
Paul lightly poked Maki.
They arrived at the departure lobby of the
international. He searched for Delta airline,
Narita. Narita, he passed through there only a month ago, but what a nostalgic and bloody
name. It feels odd to see it’s name so far.
Maki showed the printed ticket and checked
his baggage. Paul’s face said the time has
come at last.
“Well, just wait. I’m definitely coming to
Japan.”
Maki looked straight into friendly dark blue
eyes of Paul. He found some white threads in that dark blond hair and beard. Maki smiled
wryly reminded that he is also same age as
Paul.
“Take Ellie with you, I can’t take care of you
alone.”
He said bye and turned around to get in the
line of body check. He only looked back once as he waited the long line. Paul was there,
with coffee in hand. Paul grinned. And took
his smart phone and was typing something.
Maki received the message, it said
“You are almost forty. Don’t cry, it’s
embarrassing.” How dare you, he thought and never looked back anymore.
He knew neither chicken nor beef is good and it will upset his nervous stomach, so he
bought wastefully expensive California roll
and water bottles at flashy new food court. He felt his gastric acid coming up. As he tried to hold himself from vomiting, boarding for
ZONE 3 had started. After waiting in another
long line, Maki was finally on board.
Translation note
Japanese ie system, words like head family and branch family is not translatable. Head family is Honke, and are the head of clan. Usually, they have big estate and lands. Honke is expected to do a lot of Buddhist or Shinto rituals. Keep the family cemetary is one of very important dutie for heir. It is very hard for someone born in those old family to surrender their life to Christ.
Tohoku region is where there was a huge earthquake and tsunami in 3/11 2011. They were loser of the civil war of 1868. Which interestingly was fought with second hand weapons from American civil war, which the southern states were defeated. That is why Maki says he feels the resemblance. But Maki is not from Tohoku, and am not sure why he says it. Its actually me whoes ancestor lost the civil war.
Maki is from Shinshu, which is equivalent to Nagano prefecture. About three hours by train from Tokyo. Mountain country. He is from Matsumoto basin.
The reason why Maki thought Narita airport as bloody is because locals had huge, long and bloody opposition movement against the airport. It is very interesting history.
Maki's name resemblance to Maki Izumi no kami (Maki, lord of Izumi region) part is not translatable either. He actually killed himself, but the Japanese word is Zigai, not suiside, so I just translated it to died halfway through. Zigai was respectful thing for samurai to do. Suiside is suiside you would think. The word is not translatable. His title, lord of Izumi doesn't mean he was really lord. Its just title.
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