My journey of loving myself and others

I don't know who needs to hear this, but I thought I would leave my story here so that I can look back on my old self to reflect on how I evolved (and I am still in the journey) and leave a message to anyone who is meant to read my story. 

I often hear "everything happens for a reason" which I do believe, but I have another interpretation of the meaning behind this. 
I am a firm believer in making the most out of whatever happens to you and making your choice the right one. 
It is not the choice itself that makes it right or wrong, it is how YOU take responsibility for the choice you made and make it the right one. 

My self-love and self-respect journey begin when I experienced a hearbreak from a man who I was madly in love with.
I met him at a bar in Tokyo through my mutual friend and we began seeing each other. I always told myself I would only date someone who is maximum 10 yearts older to me. He was 12 years older to me, but we constantly got along because of how we shared our core values in life. We were in a "situationship" for more than half a year until I was brave enough to end things with him in the end of 2022. 
It took me another more than half a year to heal from the heartbreak until I met my current partner after I moved to the UK for my masters.
It was transformational after I ended things with him. I saw myself and what was happening around me in a different lense. 
It took me until I finally broke up to finally realise that I was completely losing myself while madly in love with him. I started working out regularly, meeting new people through communities, and went on self discovery through a farm stay. I saw a lot of digital contents that talked about self love and self respect. I was finally spending my prescious time and energy for myself, and not draining those for something/someone that do not serve me. I was building a relationship with myself and dating myself. In other words, I was talking to myself more and getting to know myself better. I realised that the language I was talking to myself wasn't healthy before. Whenever I make a mistake, I blamed myself which made me felt worse. Whenever I was tired or almost in the verge of burnout, I push myself instead of tapping my shoulder and ask to take care of my mental and physical health. I was finally talking to myself like I talk to my best friend or my love ones. It was transformational to experience this because I could see this will change the trajectory of my life in the long run. I love and accept myself no matter what happens. Even if the entire world turns around me, I would always be the best friend and best supported for myself. I am with me always, no matter what happens, until the end of the earth or end of my life, whichever comes first. Your family, your best friend, or your partner could be gone anytime, for whatever reason, but you always have yourself at the end of the day. That is why it is extremely important to build a relationship with yourself, which a lot of people do not realise the significance. We are never thought in school who to love and respect ourself. It is always about how we behave well and respct others in society.

I believe that if more people start to love and respect their selves, the world will become a better place with more kindness, compassion and peacefulness.

This is the world that I want to see. 

May all lives shine and love theirselves

Bon. 


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