I AM ______
I was going through old files on my laptop tonight and came across some photos I took on my old phones.
I don't usually take photos. It really depends on my mood. Although I have a proper camera, there have been many occasions when I didn't have camera with me. And sometimes, for a quick daily capture, I rely mainly on my phone.
I'm writing now as I recollect what was going through my mind when taking these photos, lest I forget.
It was during a shoot. We had just wrapped. The location was a karaoke spot. I saw the sound recordist stood under the indicator lights of the bathrooms, reaching out his hands with palms upwards, his eyes shut.
Such a scenario reminded me of the first person I knew who used the pronoun of "them". The first time my world opened up was when I encountered the line from a story that said, "I like you, and it has nothing to do with your gender." And then came the person whom I would refer to as "them".
I have been pretty certain about who I am most of the time, but sometimes I do wonder, "what if?" Why should I chain myself up in a cage, even though it is what we used to do?
I liked how the hands of the sound recordist seemed to be embracing all possibilities. So I took this photo.
My friend and I were walking on a quiet street in Shanghai when we stumbled upon a peculiar shop window. To me, it appeared to embody these elements of life—what you see, what you desire, what you receive, and what you make out of it. Intriguing and eerie.
The time when I took this photo was easily considered one of the saddest years and months in my life. I had to leave behind the place that felt like home to my soul.
It was raining when I took this photo, but there was a glimmer of sunlight visible ahead.
Perhaps, even in the midst of sorrow, as now, there is still a flicker of hope.
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