Toughness to stay.

No one likes to be in a state of uncertainty or lack of clarity.
It is natural for anyone to want to feel refreshed and to get out of a hazy state as soon as possible.
Such a state is very uncomfortable and unpleasant.
But I think it is very important to be tough enough to stay in such a state.

In our daily life, we are faced with so many things that are hazy.
"What? While I am tilting my head back and forth, the next cloudiness comes along.
As you keep repeating this, the doubts turn into frustration.
It becomes unbearable.
You want to clear your head. You want to get rid of it all.
You want to figure out and understand the reason for the frustration.
You want the right answer.
Then someone appears in front of you and explains everything clearly and simply!

I think this is the most dangerous situation.
I think it is a deep, deep pit.

I have said many times before that I dislike people who make snap decisions and assert everything.
I dislike people who are definitive, and who end an argument with a single word.
I always try to distance myself from the words of such people.
If I know someone well enough to know what they are thinking and how they live and think, then I will listen to their words and opinions.
Even then, I would listen first, but I would not want to immediately accept them without thinking.
Why?
Because I believe that if I do that, I will eventually become a person who does not think about anything.
I think I have that kind of weakness.
If I seek someone else's answer to clear my mind or to resolve my doubts, I will become a person who only obeys the person who gives me the answer.
I don't want that.

We must never lose the attitude of thinking for ourselves and asking questions for ourselves.
I know that is very difficult.
A state of uncertainty. A state where you don't know the answer. A state where you have to think by yourself.
A state where you have to take action and find something by yourself.
That is very hard.
It would be easier to have someone else think about it, give you the answer, and explain it all to you.

But I don't want to go for the easy way out.
I don't want to become a person who can't ask questions or think for oneself.
It would be like losing my own existence.
I don't want to lose my existence by taking the easy way out by not thinking for myself.

A person who speaks on behalf of others, a person who leads others.
There are times when we need someone who can point the way for us with strong will and words.
I do not deny that.
But a being who truly leads people is not someone who pleases people with strong definitive words and answers, but someone who gives people the courage to think and act.

What I deny is having an attitude of not thinking for oneself, of not asking one's own questions and simply following. It slowly erodes one's dignity and life.
I don't want to live my life like an empty shell.

Therefore, I want to have the toughness to endure even when I am in an unclear and unsettled state.
I want to have the toughness to continue thinking about things I don't understand, not to easily draw conclusions about things I don't understand.