When raising my voice doesn't feel quite right.

The world right now is facing a new change after the global pandemic that killed thousands and millions of people, and still is eating away the lives of so many. The world is now raising their voices against inequality, racism, murder, and against many things that resulted from hate, jealousy, and anger. The world is raising their voices for future generations, in hope of extinguishing the chain of segregation. 

Social media has become a platform for people, whether famous or not, to raise their voices, raise awareness, and to make a change. Hashtags and posts referring to "blacklivesmatter", "blackouttuesday", and many other descriptions have flooded the media, acknowledging the history of racism and the awful, awful things that were done to people of color which should have never been or ever be justified. 

But I can't seem to do it. 

Maybe it's just a small action on SNS and not a big deal. Maybe it's only a 'post', or only a 'story'. Maybe it's just something that's popular right now, and maybe people are truly trying to change the world. Maybe not referring to any of these issues makes me uncool. But I can't seem to do it, and I don't know why. Raising my voice doesn't seem quite right, at least not right now.  I'm going to trust the wisdom from "My Utmost for His Highest".

"When there is any debate (against conscience), quit... There is no debate possible when conscience speaks... Drop it, whatever it is, and see that you keep your inner vision clear." (My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers, May 13.)

Maybe I am not confident in raising my voice because I just don't have enough knowledge, or maybe I don't know what to trust in this flood of information that surrounds us today. The history of black segregation or slavery is not my profession, although I do want to learn about it more. I cannot discuss or debate against super knowledgeable people, nor do I think I can fully understand the feelings of those who were persecuted and unequally treated because of the color of their skin. But with everything that's happening in the world right now, all that's in my head right now are words of Jesus, which just confuses me even more. 

"But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you," (Matthew 5:44)

There is much anger, frustration, hatred, sorrow, jealousy, envy, and self-pity in the world. And it is in our sinful nature to want to pursue justice based on our own righteousness. Whether there are good enough reasons for the anger or not, are we really willing to let anger take over our hearts? Are we willing to let anger have its way? Maybe it is a "godly" motivation to punish those who have tortured us, but are we really sure about it being "godly"? Is it really okay for us to be the judge of it all? 

It is easy for me to justify my own thoughts or actions. Even more so when I realize that there are others who share the same, common enemy. Maybe the common enemy is the leader of the nation. Maybe it's the government. Maybe it's people who speak different languages, people with different skin colors, people with different cultures or ideologies. It's easy for me to justify my own actions and act upon my own righteousness against the visible enemy. 

But right now, I don't want to lose sight of WHO the real enemy is. I don't want to lost sight of the REAL battle we ought to face. The battle is not against other people, it's against Satan. It's against sin. It's against death. It is the battle of faith, and Jesus had already WON. 

Then what am I to do, if the battle is already finished...?

"But you, O man of God, flee these things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness. Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, to which you were also called and have confessed the good confession in the presence of many witnesses." (1 Timothy 6:11-12)

Paul writes to Timothy these words. Timothy was a young believer who was born from a Jewish convert mother and a Greek father. He was born into a family of faithful and traditional Judaism and the intellectual, popular, and Greeks, who were "living-in-the-now". Timothy was saved along with his mother and grandmother and had worked with Paul in spreading the Gospel, and even as a youth. 

I, myself, am still a young and inexperienced college student. I am a believer in Jesus and have the Christian faith. I am not a Jew but a Japanese, a gentile who has also been invited to the covenant of mercy and grace. I am living here and now, in a world with a long history of sin, sorrow, and anger. I am living in a world with so many "trendy" "popular" movements. Despite the flood of information and instructions on how to "live" and how to "act" in this world, I often get lost.

And the only thing I can turn to, that I fully trust and believe in, is God's words. 

"But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you," (Matthew 5:44)

"But you, O man of God, flee these things and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness. Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, to which you were also called and have confessed the good confession in the presence of many witnesses." (1 Timothy 6:11-12)

I believe that God tells us to pursue "righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, gentleness" for a reason. I believe that God has given me the responsibility to pursue His righteousness and godliness, to pursue faith in Him and His love in the world today. I believe that Jesus' patience and gentleness are things that are so crucial to us humans who are prone to rash decisions and are easily motivated by fast anger. 

How can we truly love our neighbors and enemies, today? Is it by giving money? Is it by posting a photo with a hashtag? Is it sharing informational stories on social media? Maybe. I don't know. But one thing I do know for sure is to pray. How often do we pray for the leaders? How often do we pray for the oppressed? How often do we pray FOR THE OPPRESSORS?

So I want to pray; pray so we all, whether the oppressed or the oppressor, may pursue God and his righteousness and godliness amidst waves and trends of the world. I want to pray that the fellow believers would remember His faithfulness to us, even when we were faithless to Him. I want to pray for God's people to have faith in Him, and to love our neighbors as Jesus loved us. I want to pray that the Holy Spirit will give all of us patience and gentleness in our hearts, thoughts, minds, actions, and words. I want to pray for people to unite in God's love, and not upon the bond of hate and anger. 

"Therefore I exhort first of all that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks be made for all men, for kings and all who are in authority, that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and reverence." (1 Timothy 2:1)

I want to pray for the leaders of the world; to have wisdom and to pursue peace. I want to pray for their hearts to turn to Him and pursue God's will, and so that they may lead their people in the fear of the Lord. I want to pray for the leaders to humbly love and respect others and to be motivated in selfless love. 

Maybe raising my voice doesn't feel quite right at the moment, but I want to raise a voice of prayer. 

Prayer for the people who have experienced segregation; prayer for the people who are hurting; prayer for the people who are experiencing oppression; prayer for the leaders; prayer for the oppressors. 

Maybe "prayer" seems effortless and without meaning, and maybe it's lame and might offend some people. But at this moment, prayer seems like the only right thing to do. Remember Elijah's story on the mount Carmel? I truly believe that there is nothing God cannot do. There is no heart that God cannot change, there is no anger God cannot take away, there is no sorrow God cannot change into joy, there is no past that God cannot deliver us from. I believe that God is righteous and just. So I will pray, pray in the name of Jesus Christ, who became nothing for me (and you), who lived, died and defeated death with His resurrection, all so that we may live. 

I want to pray this prayer for you, too.

"Therefore we also pray always for you that our God would count you worthy of this calling, and fulfill all the good pleasure of His goodness and the work of faith with power, that the name of our Lord Jesus Christ may be glorified in you, and you in Him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ" (2 Thessalonians 1:11)