[英検準1級ライティング#13]紙の新聞の購読をやめる人が増えるか【Yes】

【写真について】
カナダに降り立ったのは、12/5。私はまさに真冬の数ヶ月を体験したのです。。もともと北国で生まれ育った私は、何の覚悟もなく、ほぼ、何の事前情報も持たず行ったのですが。。

驚いたことに、雪がまったく積もっていませんでした。
木は葉を落として、寒さは本格的なのに、雪がない。
寒さだけでなく、見た目も寒くてとても寂しく感じました！
　
到着から1週間後、朝起きると雪が降ってた〜〜
嬉しくて、外に飛び出しました。
自分が雪をこんなに恋しくおもうことがあるとは。。。
こういう時、故郷のことが思われるのですね。

【ライティング】
　本日は、「紙の新聞の購読をやめる人が増えるか」がテーマ。
【Yes】の立場で書きました。
　
いつもお世話になってたボスニアの先生が今日も授業をされてなくて(T_T)(T_T)
今日もフィリピンの先生にお願いしました！
オンライン英会話もやっぱり人間関係です。
1回目より2回目の方が、先生も私がやりたいことをわかってくださって、
とても丁寧に指導してくださいました。ありがたい！！！！

◎TOPIC
Agree or disagree:
People will stop subscribing to printed newspapers in the future.

＊I wrote it from the "YES" side.

◎Points
cost
Environment

５【先生添削後】

[a Bosnian tutor's]（2020.09.21追記）
　　Though many people read printed newspapers every day, the number of readers has been gradually decreasing as many people have switched to an online news service. Therefore, I think people will eventually stop buying printed newspapers in the future.
　　To begin with, in terms of the cost, many readers would prefer the ones with a reasonable price. If the quality is satisfactory, most people are more likely to subscribe to digital versions because they are much cheaper in comparison to traditional newspapers.
　　Second, recently, many people have realized the importance of protecting the environment. Therefore, I think more people would choose to read the news on the web which will lead to reducing paper usage. It is one of the ways to protect natural resources.
　　Considering the people's thoughts for the environment as well as costs, the number of people who subscribe to electronic versions of newspapers will increase. It will lead to a decrease in subscriptions of printed newspapers.

[a Filipino tutor's]
　　Though most people read newspapers every day, nowadays, lots of people have started to subscribe to electronic versions of newspapers. Therefore, I think people will eventually stop buying printed newspapers in the future.
　　To begin with, in terms of the cost, many readers would prefer the ones with a reasonable price. If the quality is satisfactory, most people are more likely to subscribe to digital versions because they are much cheaper than traditional newspapers.
　　Second, recently, many people have realized the importance of protecting the environment. Therefore, I think more people would choose to read the news on the web which will lead to reducing paper usage. It is one of the ways to protect natural resources.
　　Considering the people's thoughts for the environment as well as costs, the number of people who subscribe to electronic versions of newspapers will increase. It will lead to a decrease in subscription to printed newspapers.

４【清書+Grammary添削後】

　　Today most people read newspapers every day to get new information. However, nowadays lots of people have started to subscribe to electronic versions of newspapers. I agree with the idea that people will stop subscribing to printed newspapers in the future.
　　To begin with, from the point of cost, many readers would choose more reasonable versions of newspapers if the quality is satisfactory. The web version of newspapers is cheaper than printed newspapers.
　　Second, recently, many people have realized the importance to protect the environment, having experienced a lot of influence on environmental destruction. Therefore, I think more people would choose to read the news on the web to reduce paper usage in the future.
　　In conclusion, I think the number of people who subscribe to electronic versions of newspapers will be increasing.

３【2の先生添削後】

【a rough draft after the tutor's check】（2020.09.21追記）
　　People are very eager to stay informed nowadays. However, lots of people are doing so by using online news services. That is why I agree with the idea that people will stop subscribing to printed newspapers in the future.
　　To begin with, from the point of cost, many readers would choose more reasonable news sources if the quality is satisfactory. The online version of newspapers is cheaper than printed newspapers.
　　Second, recently, many people have realized the importance of protecting the environment, having experienced a lot of influence on environmental destruction. Therefore, I think more people would choose to read the news on the web to reduce paper usage in the future.
　　In conclusion, I think the number of people who subscribe to electronic versions of newspapers will be increasing.

　2【1のGrammary添削後】

【a rough draft after the Grammarly check】
　　Today most people read newspapers every day to get new information. However, nowadays lots of people have started to subscribe to electronic versions of newspapers. I agree with the idea that people will stop subscribing to printed newspapers in the future.
　　To begin with, from the point of cost, many readers would choose more reasonable versions of newspapers if the quality is satisfactory. The web version of newspapers is cheaper than printed newspapers.
　　Second, recently, many people have realized the importance to protect the environment, having experienced a lot of influence on environmental destruction. Therefore, I think more people would choose to read the news on the web to reduce paper usage in the future.
　　In conclusion, I think the number of people who subscribe to electronic versions of newspapers will be increasing.

1【添削前】
  スペルミスがいっぱい！！
農業まで間違うなんて。。意外と書かないから。。漢字と同じで
書けないのかも、と気づけてよかった。　

【a rough draft】
　　Japan has faced the decrease of population. I believe Japanese companies should hire more foreign workers.
I have two reasons why I think so.
　　First of all, Japan has experienced an aging society. Our workforth is declining especially in the fields of agreeculture and nursing for the elderly. We difinately need workers from foreign countries to support our shortage of workforth.
　　Secondly, many Japanese people are not keen to engaged in low salary work such as agreeculture and nursing for the elderly. But the low wage is sometimes a lot of money for foreign workers. They often voluntarily are engaged in these occupation
　　In conclusion, accepting foreign workers are necessary for the Japanese society.