You asked me about my dream

The other day, you asked me what my dream was. Well, you didn’t actually speak, but you looked like you you were asking that. I didn't tell you then, as I felt that a dream is, somehow, something too pretty for me to have. But to be very honest, I do have a dream. Do you want to hear about it? 

When you asked me about my dream, you also asked what I would do the next day if there weren't any private duties or any responsibilities' kind. And you said that if you knew what you would do, right away, it meant that you were ready for a change. (You looked like you were saying so. My sixth sense sensed it that way.) Then I thought, I wanted to go. Go somewhere, is what I would do. But really, I couldn't think of anywhere, or anyone to go to. Anywhere or anyone that I feel I belong. There is a person in Sapporo but he has his family. I am not welcome. I have a good but dead friend. He wouldn't complain if I come, as he is really very nice. And he can't talk. But I don’t really know where he is.
After all, I think I agree with you. I am not ready for a change at this moment. 
But you know what, I will be, when I am 80!

My dream is to set myself free when I make it to 80 years old.

It's still new and delicate. I mean, it's not prepared to be exposed. So please do not randomly play with it or criticise, yet, at least. You are the first and probably the last person, or the being, should I say, to hear this.  

As soon as I turn 80 on my birthday in January,
I will forget everything. Forget all about my responsibilities, reputations that may affect my children, the facts that I may hurt/ disappoint/ disgust/ whatever someone, ..... everything.
Delete everything and empty my head. 
I will be totally free. There, I start my journey.

 In winter, I would like to live in a little cottage where it's warm enough. Outside, it's white everywhere with petal-like, soft snow, piling up on top of each other. There are many many flakes still fluttering down. Slowly but endlessly. Once in a while I go out and jump around in the little yard to ruin the beauty of stillness. Snow doesn’t mind it. It just keeps falling and makes me feel protected. 

In spring, I would lie down under the trees and wait to watch the leaves grow. I say hi to them when the baby sprouts of leaves appear. Then just keep watching them grow. Watch them sunbathe, watch them get wet and shiny in the rain, watch them pushed and sometimes blown away alone by the wind. 

In summer, maybe the beach is my destination. I can't swim too well but I may go in the water anyway without getting scared of the depth or the distance from the shore. I may be eaten by a shark or get stung by a jellyfish. I may just be drown due to leg cramps. Leftovers from my body (after sharks' biting) will be eaten by smaller creatures. Then I will be a part of the digesting system of the sea. Eventually, probably, parts of me will be lying on the bottom of the sea. One day after a long sleep, my remains could become little fossils. I may be pulled by one of those humans' tool and changed into plastic. I hope I will not be made into a toothbrush. 

In autumn, if I wasn't dead yet, I will bathe in a pond of fallen leaves and dream about becoming Earth myself. Listen to micro creatures talk. Watch them work. Some mushrooms may grow on me....
On my way, I will free the cows in bad farms. Those cows who have to be pregnant and getting milked all the time. Chrissy, you may not know as you haven't given birth, but imagine. It would be really terrible if you have to be pregnant all the time, then the baby calf is taken away from you as soon as he/ she is born, then gets milked again by the machine, every single day. 
I will open the gate and let the cows run.
I will tell the farmers to start doing something better and give some money. Yes, I need money. So I now have to write write write and publish publish publish. With those e-books, even bad writings can make some money. That means, lots of bad writings can make a little more money. That's what I aim at.
I have to free pigs and chickens, too.
I have to find and free the kid slaves, too.
Whoever needs to be freed, should be freed. 

When I see a child being bullied, I will be his/ her friend. And I will tell a nice story. Maybe recommend a book. For that, I have to read a lot and know a lot of good stories and books.
For when languages do not work, I should be able to draw well. A little picture book starring the child may please him/ her. 
When people are nice to me, I want to do something nice back.
So I have to be a good cook to cook something super delicious for them.
If their places are dirty and they don't know how to clean, they may not have enough time. Then I will clean the place for them, or do it together. So I have to be very good at cleaning.
When somebody has to carry heavy stuff I want to help, so I have to be fit and strong. 
When somebody keeps killing flowers and plants in their houses, I will tell them how to better take care of them. So I have to know a lot about plants. Maybe about soil and little bugs, too. 

And to be able to do whatever I want to do then, I will have to be healthy enough. I also want to be the least disgusting in people's sights, so that people do not get overly mean to me.
I wouldn't care if people are mean to the old woman of me, as there is no fear inside me. Absolutely no fear for any pain, getting injured, having no money, losing mind, getting killed... no. No fear. 
But I want to be strong enough to fight back if I wanted to.
To prepare for the situation, I keep my training. Keep running, do Yoga, try to be as flexible as possible, eat healthily, and not drink too much.
Well I may drink a little too much at the moment, but I try to control it. 
And quite importantly, I should be diaper-free, to make my baggage smaller and make the whole thing more convenient. So, I probably have to keep my brain working pretty healthy, too.
For that, I don't know what to do yet, but I have already  started with things that I can. I’m preparing. 

This is my dream so far. Did you like it?

What are your dreams?
Do you feel like telling me one?