Tokyo Yakult Swallows, an introduction

※こちらは初めてヤクルト戦へ連れて行く友人向けに作成した記事です。

So you're the lucky souls who KZilla-chan has decided to take to your first Yakult Swallows game. 
Here's a brief guide of all of the players you will most likely see. Enjoy! 

Position players

They're the ones that hit the ball and play defense. 

1. Center Field-Yasutaka Shiomi 塩見泰隆

Runs very fast, hits very good, defends like a god. 
Kind of looks like a horse, so the entire team and the fanbase makes horse jokes all of the time. 
Also got picked up by a tabloid for asking a girl if he can pull her [censored], but he's actually a really modest good guy (I think). 

2. Left Field-Kotaro Yamasaki 山崎晃大朗

Also runs very fast. Still working on the hitting part, but he does tend to come up clutch when it counts. 
The jokester of the team, his deadpan delivery of the aforementioned horse jokes (he's doukis with Shiomi) are a staple of interviews and fan events. 

3. Second Base- Tetsuto Yamada 山田哲人

The captain of the team, and quite the cutie. 
Hits and defends like a god, but has been a bit hampered by injuries recently.  
Signed a 7 year 4 billion yen contract in 2020, so he's also hella rich. 

4. Third Base- Munetaka Murakami 村上宗隆

The best player in Japan right now. 
He hit 56 home runs this season, which is the second-best in Japanese baseball history. 
Remember that time KZilla-chan cried when he was watching baseball (the first time)? That was because he hit his record-breaking 56th home run on the last at bat of the season. What a god. 

5. First Base- Jose Osuna

The first thicc boi of the squad. 
Actually doesn't hit as many home runs as you would expect, but has been on absolute fire recently. 
Likes doing the hand heart thing into the camera after he hits a home run, which is cute. 

6. Catcher- Yuhei Nakamura 中村悠平

A phenomenal catcher, and a good hitter to boot. 
Catchers are usually the strategy guru of the team, and he's known as one of the smartest in the league. 
His son has a pet plant named Yamada. 

7. Right Field- Domingo Santana

Other thicc boi of the squad. 
Hits a crapton of home runs while looking like he's not even trying. 
Best friends with the aforementioned thicc boi Osuna. 

8. Shortstop- Hideki Nagaoka 長岡秀樹

The baby of the team, at still only 21 years old. 
Is a phenomenal defender, and his hitting is pretty good too. 
Has a very young looking face, but has a deep, sexy voice that really feels out of place. 

Bench (Outfield) Norichika Aoki 青木宣親

The heart and soul of the team. 
40 years young, but can still hang with the young guns. 
Started his career with the Swallows, then played in MLB for 6 years, but came back to win a championship with Yakult… which he did last year! 

Bench (Pinch Hitter) Shingo Kawabata 川端慎吾

The clutchest pinch hitter (a hitter who hits in place of someone, so has to suddenly go into a game cold and produce immediately) I have ever seen. 
When he comes off the bench, expect something good to happen. 

Pitchers

They throw the ball hard. (Some exceptions exist) 

Starting Pitcher- Hikaru Yamashita 山下輝

This year's number 1 draft pick, and presumably the starting pitcher we will see on Saturday. 
At 188cm and 100kg, he's probably the thiccest Japanese player on the team. 
He's only pitched a couple of times this year, but has been very effective- should be a good game! 

Closer- Scott McGough

If it's a close game in the 9th inning, expect to see this handsome fella. 
His catchphrase is "that's how it is", whatever that means. 

Setup Pitcher- Noboru Shimizu 清水昇

The 8th inning guy. 
Kind of looks like an otter, so his fans bring otter stuff to the game and show them off whenever he's pitching. 
Comes into the game to Sandstorm by Darude, which I still think is the greatest sports song of all time. 
Has a big booty. 

Setup Pitcher- Kazuto Taguchi 田口麗斗

A lefty relief pitcher who has a knack of being able to Houdini out of sticky situations. They'll put him in if there are lots of people on base and the current pitcher can't seem to get out of it. 
Also the class clown, and is always finding ways to entertain the fans. 
If the Swallows win, he does a little performance between first base and right field, so hopefully we'll get to see that as well! 

Relief Pitcher- Naofumi Kizawa 木澤尚文

Everyone's favorite Keio boi. 
Was the first round draft pick last year, promptly was absolutely terrible, and turned around to completely reinvent himself and become an elite pitcher. 
Throws really really hard, with a lot of side movement. 
Expect KZilla-chan to fanboy if he makes it into the game. 

Mascot

Tsubakuro つば九郎

Not a penguin, but a swallow.
Loves binge drinking.
Is actually good friends with a lot of the players on the team, just don't think about who's inside the costume. 

Pitchers you probably won't see, but good to know for future reference

Starting Pitcher- Keiji Takahashi 高橋圭二

The lefty ace pitcher of the team. 
Throws very fast for a lefty (usually lefties can't throw as hard). 
Nasty on the mound, but easy on the eyes. 
Married to an idol (ex-AKB47 Tomomi Itano), and they have a cute daughter together. 

Starting Pitcher- Yasuhiro Ogawa 小川泰弘

The righty ace pitcher of the team. 
Doesn't throw very hard, but is very deceptive and controls his pitches well. 
Kind of a weirdo, and always posts strange out-of-place self portraits on Instagram. 

Starting Pitcher- Cy Sneed

Because we all need an Alaskan with a big beard on our favorite baseball team. 
Throws hard, gets people out, and goes home to eat Mr. Donuts. 
Sounds really smart in interviews, but also says funny things like "Yamada daisuki" to please the fans (I presume). 

Starting Pitcher- Masanori Ishikawa 石川雅規

Everyone's favorite soft tossing short king. 
At 42 years old, also currently the oldest player in the league. 
Has pitched for Yakult for 21 consecutive years, and is somehow still pretty good! How crazy is that? 

Starting Pitcher- Yasunobu Okugawa 奥川恭伸

Was last year's ace at just 20 years old, but has unfortunately barely pitched this year due to injury. 
Come to a game next year and we'll hopefully see him!