Your life is your story

Author：Shino-chan

 An eye-opening moment

“Your life is your story”. I came across this phrase on charity items from JAMMIN , a charity brand based in Kyoto. It was accompanied by a text that said, "As we weave our own lives and their stories, let's also honor the lives and stories of those around us.”

When I saw this, it made me realize that perhaps I have been prioritizing other things over "my own life" while being too busy parenting and working. Could it be that I haven't been truly living my own life? This realization struck me.

Recognizing a recurring pattern in my past

Always reading the air, swallowing even if I had an opinion. This was my behavioral pattern. I avoided arguments because I didn’t like conflict, thinking that it was easier for me to be patient.

However, the more I stored my emotions deep down inside, the faster my body and mind would wear out. Seeking comfort, I often dashed to chiropractic clinics as a sanctuary. I felt comfortable and relaxed only while undergoing the treatment.

But in my daily life, I didn't pay attention to my own health, and I quickly found myself exhausted again. And so, I would return to seek comfort. It became a repetitive cycle.

Being caught up in the busyness of life and lacking the capacity to take care of my own body, I thought I could just let others take care of me. Accumulating excessive negative emotions, I found myself living with mental distress.

You can read about my rock bottom experience during that time from this article that features an interview with me. (Only Japanese)

To Live My Own Story

I wanted to live my life without holding back my emotions and cherish myself from now on. How did I achieve that?

I learned mindfulness and NVC (Non-Violent Communication) and found many insights to live my life through them.

Through these teachings, I have started practicing the following two things in my daily life:

Not Judging Myself:

I am my own biggest ally. I treat myself with kindness, saying, "You're doing your best. It happens sometimes. Don’t worry."

Not Accepting Unnecessary Things:

People give you all kinds of advice, but you can decide whether or not to accept their advice. If you don't need it, don't take it.

While putting these things into practice, I tried to find a way to live my life by taking care of myself. Thanks to this, I have gained the ability to choose the people I want to get along with and keep my distance from those I am not good at.

When I need assistance, I can now ask for help by saying, "I can't do it right now. Please help me." The burden of carrying everything alone has decreased.

Even so, there may be times when you find yourself reverting to my past self. When that happens, I will whisper to myself, "My life is my story," and focus only on creating a joyful future.

With myself as an ally, I want to continue weaving my own story and move forward.

Call for Donations
Thank you for taking the time to read our essay. This essay was written by a single mother Shino -chan for the Mother's Day Campaign 2023. The Japanese non profit Single Mothers Sisterhood is an organization dedicated to supporting the mental and physical well-being of single mothers. Every year in May, we conduct a campaign to promote the importance of self-care and celebrate the diversity of families. Reading the essays written by single mothers allows us to appreciate the diverse qualities and characteristics that make each and every one of them special and unique. We would greatly appreciate your support. You can visit our donation page by clicking here.

Single Mothers' Sisterhood

Mother's Dayキャンペーン2023｜特定非営利活動法人シングルマザーズシスターフッド