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【Column】 Laughing makes you happy.
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This is a column based on the author's real-life experience.
I started to summarize what I had posted on SNS into a note.
You can read entire manga collections on comilio.
【Column】Laughing makes you happy.
We do not laugh because we are happy.
We are happy because we laugh.
A few days passed since the onset of SAH ”the subarachnoid hemorrhage”.
Summer 2020.
As I lie in bed in the ICU, the nurse asks.
'Mz. Shingetsu, how are you feeling?'
I look over at the nurse smiling back at me.
”Well...I think my head aches when I sleep too much.”
The nurse takes the thermometer from me and speaks.
The fever is 38 degrees Celsius, isn't it?
”So is your fever, but...”
My current condition of SAH is a constant headache.
The temperature was usually between 37 and 39 degrees C.
There was no physical difference between 37 and 39 degrees C.
I was more concerned with the fact that I had a fever.
What bothered me more was the following.
”When I lift my head, the headache gets worse.”
If I lay in bed, I don't have a severe headache.
I can move my arms and legs.
But if I get up for more than 5 minutes,
it becomes a severe headache with vomiting sensation.
I am almost completely bedridden.
When will this headache end?
Will it really end?
Will I be bedridden at this point?
There was a time when I thought so,
but my anxiety did not last.
I vaguely believed in a future in which I would be completely cured.
It may seem surprising,
but I was at peace at that time.
I would probably be fine.
I think a lot.
Therefore,
I think backward because I think of different patterns.
But my final thoughts are positive.
So my mind is quiet and peaceful.
One of the things that make this peace is the nurses.
There was a nurse who laughed a lot.
She said,
“Wow that's fun. Wa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.”
Fun?
What was going on?
I recall what happened before and after this laughter.
Nothing particularly fun.
I think.
Nothing fun.
But the nurse keeps laughing.
The hospital room is filled with her laughter.
Then, I feel the air in the room lighten.
I began to hear other patients' little chuckles, too.
Then I began to laugh, too, as if I was about to burst out.
I started to laugh as if I was going to burst out laughing too!
”Ha-ha-ha-ha!”
I laugh.
It's fun, there's nothing funny about it, but I laugh.
Laughing.
Laughing.
It's fun, there's nothing funny about it.
After I finish laughing, I realize.
The nurse knows the effect laughter has on the patient, so she laughs on purpose.
I am reminded of the words of the French philosopher Alain.
We do not laugh because we are happy.
We are happy because we laugh.
Indeed, maybe it is.
It is a beautiful word, and above all, the reality is just as he said.
This is the right order.
First, we laugh.
Then, we will be happy.
Let's laugh a lot for the rest of our lives.
![画像](https://assets.st-note.com/img/1735242773-LipyEUTPXavCdmhRSYW2ND4K.jpg)
(Continues)
【Afterword】
It taught me that even in situations that seem dire from the outside, there is laughter and happiness.
This episode still gives me energy to live.
▶Next time
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