Dear my most beloved metal-brother, Lars Ratz (Metalium)

  　The day before yesterday, my most beloved metal brother, Lars Ratz, left this world by an aircraft crash. 

  　When I first heard the news from our common friend, I was like, "What? Whaaaaatt???"
  　Then, a while later, tears gushed from my eyes.
　  And I posted this, crying :

R.I.P. my metal bro. Yes, my best metal bro, who found me--a Japanese girl alone looking for a metal band to join in...

Posted by Saeko Kitamae on Sunday, April 18, 2021

    Now, nearly 2 days later, my mind is clearer. So, I wanna write a memorial text for him, who meant so much for me and my music project, SAEKO.

The Beginning

　　The very beginning of SAEKO was in 2002, when I met Lars Ratz.
　　It was early winter in the northern German city, Hamburg.
　　Under the dark cold sky, I was handing out flyers to find a heavy metal band to join (▼). Completely alone, with no one to turn to. I didn’t even understand the language. 

　　For a defenceless Japanese girl, it was a life-risking act to hand out flyers with contacts (email & phone number). It was actually a crazy act.
　　Yet, my passion for metal music was bigger than any fear.
　　On the street, I kept on handing out flyers, one of which reached Lars Ratz, the bassist and the mastermind of Metalium (▼ Live Video from those days).

　　With a Japanese baby-face, I must have looked very young in Germany.
　　A young Asian girl who can't even speak properly ... most people didn't take serious.
　　However, Lars was different. 
　　Not judging me by my appearance, he respected my daring willpower.
　　“You seem to be as crazy as me,” said he. 
　　Giving me the Metalium's live DVD at the biggest stage of W:O:A (like above ▲), he added, 
　　"If you watch it and like what we do, come to my studio"　　
　　... and he invited me to the audition.

　　Of course, I went to the audition. Coz what we saw on his DVD was exactly what I long wanted to do.

　　Only two of us at his studio, we made the first demo song. 
　　He liked my singing, top-line and lyrics.

　　When the song is done, he turned his chair towards me and said,
　　“Much better than I thought.
　　... and you came all the way from Japan for your faith in music. Also, you came to the audition alone after watching that DVD. It's bold. I like it. 
　　Let's make your dream come true.
　　... but, if you become successful, others will tell you to do this and that.
　　Don’t listen to them. Keep your own faith and play music ‘you’ believe.
　　If my vision and your vision disagree, don’t even listen to me.
　　You follow your vision.
　　That’s the kind of artist I love.”

　　By these words, I decided to sign the contract he brought.

Music Activity with Lars

　　And it was true. He gave me the perfect creative freedom that I had never experienced before. He was always there to help my vision come true, as my manager/producer of the albums. As I had no place to live, he even rented me a room in his studio.
　Even though he was never credited as a member (musician) of SAEKO, he was the most important member of SAEKO; Without him, SAEKO wouldn’t have existed.

　　And SAEKO's 1st and 2nd albums were released worldwide. We flew to Japan together for promotion (▼ Pic of us, in front of King Records, Japan). Then, SAEKO went on tour with the metal queen DORO, performed at Wacken Open Air as the first Asian female musician (▼ Press conference, with Lars sitting next to me) ... we achieved many things together. 

Ideals and Reality

　　However, the more successful SAEKO became, the more people got involved. Eventually, some of my creative freedom got lost. 
　　And in 2006, after the release of the 2nd album LIFE, SAEKO stopped its activity, with me flying back to Japan and Lars moving to Mallorca, Spain.

　　Ideals and Reality ... but perhaps no one's fault. We can't bring all things as we want. That's life. 

　　Lars and I got in touch every now and then even after that.
　　Still, I felt, "Musically, our roads won't cross anymore, perhaps. I will never be able to resume SAEKO. There are too many hurdles."

Return of SAEKO

　　But the time arrived.  
　　In 2020, I was able to gather amazing members! In 2021, we finished all recordings of the next album ... after 14 years!! It's still hard to make it, but not impossible at the least. SAEKO can return!
　　Lars was not among the members as usual, but during the mixing session, we felt like having him back in any way and asked him to sing male vocals for 2 songs.

　　Lars liked the songs on the spot. 
　　”Oh, my Saeko-san! You will resume? How many years now? It's very nice anyway. And of course, very well-composed songs, played by good-skilled musicians. Well done!”
　　And he happily recorded his vocals.

　　Of course, his male vocals sounded very good, and the mastering was done ... about 3 weeks ago now. 

　　Some web metal-magazines covered the news. And I was ready to look for label deals for EU and Japan (&Asia). The final step towards the release. 

Then, the sad news came in last Sunday.

Dear my metal brother, Lars
From your metal sister, Saeko
On April 20th, 2021

　　Why? My bro? You had to see how SAEKO would come back. I and new members made this coming album, following our visions without compromise, as you & I did in Hamburg.

　　Do you remember what you said when we finished production of the 2nd album in 2006?
　　You said, 
　　 “I’m so proud of making this album! Even if no one in this world likes this album—although I know it won’t be the case, I would still be proud! We made a great album, Saeko! This album is soooo true. Every note and every word is coming from your heart.”

　　In 2021, when the mastering of the coming album was done, I felt exactly the same. I said the same words to myself. That's how I understood how you put your everything, your every efforts to make that album back then. So, I wanted to give you the new album in 2021. I gathered great musicians who play purely from their heart. I was sure you would like it.

　　Now, you are gone.
　　When I hear your voices in my songs, I am sad.
　　But, at the same time, I'm happy that I recorded your voices before you leave this world.

　　When COVID is over, I wanna play these songs in an open air festival, with your voices as play-back. Then, you will hear from above. Then, you will see how SAEKO come back from above. 

　　As in the past, there are no lies, no marketing strategies or no copying of others’ style in SAEKO. SAEKO will be always a pure expression of heart. Embodiment of our passion. Embodiment of our spirit. You left this world, but this remains the same.
　　Coz that’s the kind of artist I love as well. 

WE WILL NEVER SURRENDER.