The walls of my safe haven

The perspective widens dare you look past the constraints of your daily routines. Driven by the rigid mechanism of your workflow, schedules, and the fastidious build of your 24-hour framework you might find yourself dumbfounded to know that yours may not be the right way to go. Moreover, what you have come to believe to be a paragon way of life cracks at the foundation at the peek into a profoundly different routine.

Similarly, the dismay at the realization that someone's assuredness of what you innately believe is detrimental is for them but a milder form of it knocks the wind out of you. To want to give love to someone of this mindset, moreover, someone who may not know that they could flourish from this love is a daunting quandary. 

in a manner, one becomes a prisoner of their own safe space, be it mental or corporeal. The inability to see past the constraints of this safe space is a safe haven for existential terror. There is bliss after all in ignorance. Nothing breaks this illusion the same way as looking into someone else's routine that reminds you of an ideal that you lost the sight of in the midst of being caught in its incomplete execution. 

For me the light that spills milky white from the lamp posts at the midnight hour, as if from a full moon shoulder-to-shoulder with a rain cloud, the crows cawing in the early morning in the bamboo groove over my room, the comradery of school boys and their unison shouting atop it, and last but not least, your somnolent presence after a day's playful boisterousness. These are the things that lately shatter the walls of my safe haven. In them, I find vast loneliness as if I suddenly pick upon a greater picture of my presence here in this life. But a grain of sand in a placid terrain of endless possibilities. A daunting realization. 

Change is a powerful aid in organising mental chaos. It gives clarity and broader perspective. It gives room to breath and for the frustration to settle down. The old emotions take up a new shape through interaction with those who can show them in a different light. Especially love. And that for you I have a lot of.