Punk

James, walking home because his punky bike broke down again, is carrying two bottles of beer. You can easily recognize a drunk James by his chatty behavior and faraway look in his eyes. 'Hey, you drank three cans of beer on your way home, didn’t you?' I hit the nail on the head.

For some reason, James tends to show me YouTube when he's drunk. He started with a video analysing the musical scale of the game Pokemon, then showed me videos of artists from a concert he's going to the day after tomorrow, his favourite comedy act on Saturday Night Live, his friend's favourite metal band, and so on.

Then, while showing me a video of a young Japanese band called Deranged Front, he said, ‘That black-and-white guitar the boy has, I've been wanting one since I was 14. Isn't it cool?’ I have been with James for 10 years, but I suddenly felt sad that I didn't know what he had wanted since he was 14.

From there, he showed me a punk musician called Fat Mike, who inspired him to want that guitar. 'This is my hero. I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for him back then.’ I cried, imagining the boy James I never knew. I think it was a difficult time for him, and thinking about Fat Mike had saved him.

Fearfully, I asked, ‘What exactly was his influence on you?’ And he said ‘Meeting him introduced me to punk bands and games that used punk music.’ He replied.

m! Game...? The tears have receded quickly. James asked, ‘Why are you crying?’ He asked. I'm not sure why I'm crying, I want to ask. Haha

'I'd love to visit the punk museum he built in LA one day.’ James continued. I was also saddened that, after ten years together, I didn't know his heroes existed. 'Get that guitars soon. And we'll definitely go to L.A.!' And I was filled with motherly love for James, a boy I had never met before.

'Didn't you have any Fat Mike gigs when you were growing up? You didn't go?’ He replied: ‘There was a final tour. But the tickets cost £70 and I couldn't stand it. I thought, ‘Fuck, what they're saying and what they're doing is different to what a punk would do’, so I didn't go.’ Oh, James, I didn't know that  you're so punk...

But he doesn't look punk at all—no colorful hair, no piercings, tattoos, leather, or spikes.'Didn't Fat Mike influence you to embrace punk fashion?' I asked.
He responded, 'I'm not influenced by my surroundings; I'm just being me. The spirit of punk is about being yourself, without letting others influence you. Punk fashion feels like a uniform, which is a contradiction. I'm a punk, even without a bizarre haircut or tattoos.'I see—being yourself is the best way to be punk. In that moment, James looked more punk than anyone.

We then watched a video of Japanese punk musician The Blue Hearts. James, who doesn't normally speak Japanese, was singing along in Japanese, which was special moment for me.

I had never seen James sing karaoke in Japanese like that or talk about punk before. There are people like me, with doors wide open, and then there are people like James, who don’t talk much about themselves but carry a flame in their hearts. People are all punks, in a way. There’s a 'Beauty that can’t be captured in pictures.' (From the lyrics of the song Linda Linda by The Blue Hearts.)

And I, too, have a closed piercing, no tattoos, nothing ‘cool,’ but I have been and always will be a punk girl. Knowing that, I’m over the moon.