Navigating Identities: A Journey Through Transition, Resilience, and the Queering “Studies” Project

Over a span of two years, I grappled with the denial of my desire to transition from womanhood to nonbinary, facing hurtful remarks such as 'you are a woman in jeans, you could be a feminist as a woman' or being told that 'a woman is not a trans.' Concurrently, I navigated the complexities of white fragility, observing disparities in assistance for different racial groups. As an Asian individual, I encountered blatant examples of Asian hate, including dismissive comments like 'your eyes are totally Japanese' when asserting my identity.

Subsequently, I found myself back in a heteronormative household in Victoria, BC, Canada. Despite protests, both the residents and my Neurofeedback therapist told me I hadn't experienced assault, deeming it acceptable. Despite their assertions, I was far from okay. I spent almost half of each month in a hotel room, maintaining a room in that household until I secured housing within the queer community. The second housing became available with assistance from a Japanese cis heterosexual person, and unfortunately, this added another layer of challenge to my journey.

Embracing change, adopting a new name, and delving into drag show performances and burlesque, my aspiration is to contribute to a resilient community life in Victoria, BC. This transformative journey includes initiating the 'Queering ‘Studies’ Project' for both research and business purposes, with the primary goal of providing assistance and support to our community. In this collective endeavor, I turn to you for the invaluable support of our community.

Having dedicated 16 and a half years to a professorial career in transgender studies, I faced burnout and ultimately resigned. As the first transgender studies in sociology professor in Japan, I encountered challenges similar to those vividly depicted in 'Bad Feminist' by Roxane Gay. Furthermore, the experiences of a social justice professor in Victoria, BC, Canada, resonated with my own.

Sincerely,

K Phoenix
He/They, Ainu/Emishi First Nation, Gender Nonbinary, and Neurodivergent

Independent Ethnographer and Artist
Queering “Studies” Project by PlatHome Inc.

Uvic Affiliate for “Trans Identity Words Project”
Mistrex Ara Lavish as a drag thing