“Phoenix the Thirds”

“Phoenix the Thirds”

I have psychological blocks,  
for completely embodying a masculine expression,  
using a masculine voice,  
and even speaking with a complete English pronunciation and articulation.

The same block prevents me from fully transitioning toward a masculine identity and expression.

Every time, immediately,
I tighten my arms,
shrug my shoulders,
tilt my head,
raise my voice pitch,
speak only inside my mouth,
and smile.

To avoid trouble.  
To avoid hate.  
So the police won’t be called.
So I won’t be confronted with having a woman’s body.

Even though this is Canada,  
I’m still living within the Japanese mindset.

I can’t stop being afraid of getting criticized,  
and I can’t stop making myself nervous and anxious.

I should be reborn again.  
I’m going to start living again.

In Japanese, the Phoenix symbolizes being reborn no matter how many times it dies.

I’ve surpassed Jesus in the number of reborn.

This title “Phoenix” is my third,  
and it seems I’ve been revised from a  

“Human having a divine experience”  

to a  

“Divine being having a human experience.”  

Maybe next is

“Divine having a divine experiences.”