wake up my sleepy mind, start the week with clear eyes

this morning I brewed a carafe of ethiopian “worka” single origin coffee pourover style while listening to tchaikovsky: pathetique symphony no.6 with the philadelphia orchestra.

I woke up with slightly sore back muscles (probably from climbing gym on sunday) but I think using the sauna after workout really helped. and somehow, it was a good feeling, like my muscles were contracting and pushing me out of bed to start my day earlier than I usually would!

at the same time, I did notice my mind begin to become clouded with thoughts of all the different things I need to do, and a little stress about what is being done later than I originally anticipated. but I thought to myself, if I want to work smooth and well, if I want to enjoy the workday and end it feeling just accomplished but with enough energy to carry the momentum forward the following day, it is important for me to calm my mind and center myself in my beliefs and priorities before I begin the tasks of the day. 

I also realized that my pourover coffee tastes better when I am reading or writing. I think I should give it that proper time and space for my tastebuds to wake up too. 

okay, so here are my priorities. first and foremost, I believe that this year of time I have is precious and that I should focus on my own vision and creative life force, rather than be malleable to that of others. It is easy to be sucked into someone else’s path, but I need to create empty space and context in which my most authentic creative work can emerge. this means living the life of an artist—being exposed to different environments, people, feelings, sounds. living a life beyond the confines of my laptop screen, office, and work that takes place in the digital realm. this is my purpose. if I keep giving small parts of myself away to the efforts of others, it does add up to to take away from the power of concentration that I can give my own efforts. 

this realization reminds me of a tarot card that I chose with my friend at the end of summer representing the future. I chose “the chariot” card:

“the chariot” tarot card.

“The Chariot Tarot card shows a brave warrior standing inside a chariot. He wears armor decorated with crescent moons (representing what is coming into being), a tunic with a square (the strength of will) and other alchemical symbols (spiritual transformation). The laurel and star crown signals victory, success and spiritual evolution. Although he appears to be driving the chariot, the charioteer holds no reins – just a wand like The Magician’s – symbolizing that he controls through the strength of his will and mind.
The charioteer stands tall – there’s no sitting down for this guy, as he’s all about taking action and moving forward. Above his head is a canopy of six-pointed stars, suggesting his connection to the celestial world and the Divine will. In front of the vehicle sit a black and a white sphinx, representing duality, positive and negative and, at times, opposing forces. Note how the sphinxes are pulling in opposite directions, but the charioteer uses his willpower and sheer resolve to steer the chariot forward in the direction he wants.
Behind the chariot flows a wide river, symbolic of the need to be ‘in flow’ with the rhythm of life while also charging ahead toward your goals and intentions.”

I find a few key reminders in the passage above. 
1. success relies on not only strength of will, but also spiritual transformation
2. movement is driven by connection to the celestial world and Divine will
3. the river’s symbolic meaning, the need to be “in flow” with the rhythm of life and seasons

I will aspire to channel these insights into my daily practice.