2021: I love, therefore I do

Happy New Year!

This is a reflection on 2020, and how I want my 2021 to be based on it. I rented a fancy car (🚗 Porche Boxster in the pic) and went on a 1,400km road trip at the end of the year, by myself. The connections I made, the feelings I felt along the way made me think A LOT.

This is the value statement I proposed to myself in 2020, and I will continue to practice this in 2021:

Consistently be a person who has the consciousness and composure to choose my priorities, filtered through the lens of love that is based on trust.

If I summarize how well I did at staying true to that statement, I'd give myself a solid 7. 

7 because I accomplished amazing things that I consciously chose to, all out of love. Here are some things that happened in 2020, just as a summary:

March: Got my TESOL (Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages) certificate to upgrade my "legit"ness
May: Did online workshops for Kokusaba to increase exposure during quarantine
June: Enrolled into cafe management school so Kokusaba can open a cafe this year (aiming for October 2021)
August: Made the decision to move out after graduation to an apartment to secure more mental space to grow
September: Graduated Waseda University!
October: Started full-time work an an innovation consultancy firm, balancing Kokusaba as well

Did I mention Kokusaba grew double-fold through this crazy year? Overall I think I did an amazing job doing well at what I love.

But I give myself a 7 out of 10, because along the way where I started going to cafe management courses and full-time work in October, I began to lose composure to prioritize, because starting full-time work meant I was suddenly receiving a lot of feedback from a lot of people who were far smarter and more experienced in their careers. 

Don't get me wrong, they are brilliant people and I continue to learn from an amazing workplace I love. I truly do love the workplace I decided to start my post-uni life at.

But along the way, I forgot to hold others and myself to a standard. I started telling myself that I am wrong and everyone else was right, just because they were more experienced and older. 

So this year I will start to hold my ground, with clearer knowledge of my capabilities. Most of all, I will recognize the value of my time, and will listen to my gut feelings on how to use my time. 

No more doing things I'm uncomfortable with because someone told me it's good for me. No more assuming that others know me better than I do, because if I have a superpower, it's definitely my self-awareness and good 'sense' of what I need.

I will use my time more on people that truly matter, and surround myself with people I have good feelings about. 

I will speak out if I am ever uncomfortable, and I will make sure I communicate clearly so I don't lead people on. No more over-promising or holding back from important truths just to be nice.

Last but not least, no more downplaying my love for what I do just to come off "logical and professional". Love is the strongest force that moves me. Society dictates that love is cheesy, uncontrollable, unconscious, fragile, mysterious, a passive feeling. But I would bet on my entire future success, that love is anything but. 

When you acquaint yourself with the feeling so well, and when you finally find it in yourself to be unapologetic about it, love is the most stable, familiar, rational, powerful, active source of energy. 

I love, therefore I do.

^beautiful view from my balcony at my new apartment!