英検1級の私がTOEFL Academic Discussion(3回目)を解いてみたら4点だった【回答例も公開】

TOEFLの公式サイトが日替わりで出題している Academic Discussionの問題を解いてみました。サイトでは、自分の回答を瞬時にAIが採点してフィードバックしてくれます。

今回の採点結果は5点中4点でした。

お題：都市部では人口に対して人口が少ないが、どのように対処すべきか

自分の回答

自分の回答には誤りも多く含まれていますが、AI採点してもらった文章をそのまま載せます。

This is a challenging topic, but I believe providing subsidies is the best solution to alleviate the shortage of affordable housing. I strongly agree with Paul's idea that people who build their own house can get money from the government. I would add that the numbers of workers who work remotely have been increasing these days, so people do not need to have long commutes if they do not live in the cities. While Calire argues constructing large apartments is the best way to solve this issue, but she did not mention that cities do not have the large areas to build that kinds of buildings.

ChatGPTに文法の修正をしてもらった

単純ミスも多く反省…同じミスを繰り返さないようにしたいと思います！

• "providing subsidies" は「補助金を提供する」となりますが、「affordable housing shortage」という具体的な問題に対して「subsidies for affordable housing」とする方が明確です。

• "the numbers of workers" は単数形の "the number of workers" が正しいです。

• "do not need to have long commutes if they do not live in the cities" の「do not need to have」は「do not need long commutes」の方が自然です。また、「in the cities」ではなく「in cities」とする方が一般的です。

• "While Calire argues constructing large apartments is the best way to solve this issue, but she did not mention that cities do not have the large areas to build that kinds of buildings." は「while」と「but」が重複しており、冗長です。また、「the large areas to build that kinds of buildings」は「the large areas required to build such buildings」が自然です。

満点の回答を作ってみた

下記の文章をそのままAI採点に提出したところ、5点満点を獲得できました！
内容は同じでも文法的な誤りを修正するだけで満点が取れるのですね。

また、推奨されている100wordsに対して99wordsしか記載できていませんが満点が獲得できました！！

This is a challenging topic, but I believe providing subsidies for affordable housing is the best solution to alleviate the housing shortage. I strongly agree with Paul's idea that people who build their own houses can receive financial support from the government. Additionally, the number of workers who work remotely has been increasing these days, so people do not need long commutes if they do not live in cities. While Claire argues that constructing large apartment buildings is the best way to solve this issue, she did not mention that cities often lack areas required to build such structures.